What the fuck?
I toss my napkin onto the table with more force than I intended and stand up abruptly. Everyone's attention is drawn to my unexpected movement. “Blakely, can I talk to you?” The room falls into an awkward silence. The clinking of utensils, and the sound of chewing stops.
"Kai, it’s not that serious,” B says, still sitting down, glaring at me, confused at my reaction. How can she be confused? This is my daughter.
I clench my jaw. “It’s serious to me.”
Blakely sets her napkin down as she stands up and walks toward the front door. I’m confused, at first, about why she chooses outside, but I’m assuming so no one hears us. I guess that’s a good idea. Or she doesn’t want Liam to see us interacting. But he always sees us interacting. I haven’t been upset like this in a while. Blakely and I have built such good communication that we usually never argue.
I shut the front door behind me. Blakely whips around and eyes me. "Kai, what is the big deal about Amari having a friend over?” she snaps.
“It’s the fact that you never told me about it, and the friend is a boy.”
She crosses her arms. “Because I knew the reaction I would get,” she shoots back.
I can feel my jaw clench as I run a hand through my hair, trying to process what she’s saying. “I’m only reacting like this because you didn’t tell me.” My voice tightens. “It’s not only about the fact that it’s a boy. It’s that you kept it from me. You should’ve told me. I deserve to know what’s going on in Amari’s life.”
She lets out a frustrated sigh, her arms still crossed in frustration. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to deal with this exact reaction. I know how overprotective you are,” she says. “Kai. He's a friend. A boy who happens to be her classmate. Shewanted to hang out with him after school, and I said yes. It’s not like the two of them went on a date. And me and Liam were home the whole time.”
The worddatehits me like a punch in the gut.“And if she continues hanging out with boys, that’s where it’s going to head next. A date.”
Blakely raises her hand to her mouth, covering up her laugh.
“This is not funny,” I say firmly. She still continues to laugh, but it’s coming out as a snort since she’s trying to hold it in. “Why are you laughing?”
She wipes the tears forming at the corners of her eyes, still chuckling. “Kai, I’m sorry,” she says, her voice shaking still from laughter. “You do realize she is going to date one day, right?”
Why does she keep saying the worddate?Now it’s making the word churn in my stomach. “Amari can’t date until she’s eighteen.”
Blakely howls in laughter, still covering up her mouth as if that is going to stop me from hearing how loud she is laughing. “You can’t honestly think she’s going to wait until she is eighteen, do you?” She pauses for a moment, eyeing me for an answer. But no answer comes because I know damn well it’s not realistic. It makes me sick thinking of her dating someone who doesn’t treat her right. I know there are pricks out there. I was one of them. That’s why I changed. I knew I had to be better, not only for myself but for my daughter, too.
Her expression shifts, and for a moment, I see something flicker in her eyes, as if she’s understanding my feelings. "Look, the best thing we can do for Amari when she gets to that stage is to let her feel like she has open communication from both of us. I don’t want her to feel like she can’t come to us. Look what happened to us! Our family dynamic wasn’t that open, and we ended up pregnant.”
“Do you regret it?”
She shakes her head. “No. That’s not what I’m saying. I’ll never regret it. It’s what brought Amari to us. But look at all the shit we did when we were younger. We shouldn’t have been doing that. Imagine her doing that. I wish my mom had talked to me more about this kind of stuff so I felt like I could come to her. Regardless of whether we want Amari to do something, she’s going to do it anyway. We did. It’s better she knows she can come to us, so something bad doesn’t end up happening.”
I’m standing here, trying to take in everything Blakely is saying. Deep down, I know she’s right. But that doesn’t make it any easier. It’s like this constant war between wanting to protect Amari from everything and realizing that I can’t shield her from life. I can’t keep her in a bubble forever, no matter how much I want to. The thought hits me hard. She’s going to have to make her own mistakes and learn her own lessons—like Blakely and I did.
“I get it,” I finally say, my voice low, just above a whisper. “I know you’re right. She’s growing up, and I can’t stop that.” I look down, feeling the weight of it all settle on my shoulders. “But that doesn’t make it any easier. It’s hard, Blakely. It’s hard knowing she’s going to have to learn from her mistakes. Knowing that I won’t always be able to protect her.”
Blakely watches me for a moment. “I know it’s hard, Kai,” she says gently, stepping closer. “But that’s part of being a parent. We can’t keep them from the world. We can only prepare them for it. And Amari? She’s smart. She’s going to be okay.”
I nod, but it still doesn’t erase my thoughts of all the assholes out there. The thought of her getting hurt overwhelms me.
Blakely’s hand reaches for mine, her touch is warm. A touch I miss so much. A touch I wish I could always have within reach. “I’m sorry for not telling you. I won’t keep anything like that from you again.”
I squeeze her hand, my chest tightening. “Thank you.” I pull Blakely in for a hug. To my surprise, she wraps her arms around my midsection and rests her head against my chest.
Her touch.
Her scent.
Her body stiffening against mine sends me spiraling into a haze of longing that I’ve kept buried for too long. The warmth of her skin, her familiar scent—it pulls me back to all the nights I spent wanting her. I feel her react, and I know she can sense it, too. The tension, the desire that’s been simmering since the day she walked out. It’s been there, waiting, building. Now, with her so close, all I can think about is how much I’ve craved this. How much I’ve missed her, and the undeniable pull that’s drawing me even closer, making it harder for me to let go.
She lets me go, looks up at me, and bites her bottom lip. God. She knows what that does to me, and she continues to do it.
“I’ll see you inside,” she says.
