“Did I freak you out with all these questions? You’re getting pretty quiet,” he says, meeting my gaze again.
“No. I was just thinking.” I turn back to the starry sky.
He clears his throat. “About what?”
“How soon it is,” I admit. “We’ve known each other for less than a year.”
"Yeah, it is kind of fast, but look how fast our relationship has gone. People are usually moving in together after the one-year mark. We did that after a few months.”
I giggle. “I still can’t believe I did that.”
“Why do you say that? Is that a bad thing?”
I lean up on my elbow and turn to my side, looking down at him, seeing his brows furrow. “Oh no, I didn’t mean it like it was a bad thing. I’ve always been cautious about who I bring around Amari. I always told myself I would take my time moving on from her father. But with you, it was so different, and the way you were with Amari helped my decision even more. Given the few dumbasses I dated after Kai, I was pretty set on being alone for a while.”
“I’m sure my age has a lot to do with it. When I was in my early twenties, the last thing on my mind was settling down,” he says, running the back of his palm against my cheek.
“I never thought of dating someone older. And I never thought someone older would date me.”
"Well, you’re pretty mature for your age. You’re not like most mid-twenty-year-olds.”
I chuckle. “That has a lot to do with having a kid at sixteen. I had to grow up quickly. There was really no other choice for me.” I pause for a minute. “But you’re right; you’re getting old. I guess it is time for you to start having kids.”
His eyes widened. “What?!” he exclaims, bringing his hands to my midsection.
I burst into uncontrollable laughter as he tickles me. I squirm around to escape his grasp. When he finally stops tickling me, I settle back down on his arm.
I’ve always liked our carefree bond. The last time I had this was with Kai, back when we first met. I didn’t think I would ever find that feeling again with someone. I thought it was just a young love feeling. Liam has always proved me wrong. With him, I realized it doesn’t have to be gone, and it’s not only a young love feeling. It’s when you meet someone who shares the same values as you. It gives a sense of ease in the relationship, so you’re not always walking on eggshells. Finding Liam has made me realize what I’m worth and what I want in a relationship.
But I will always remember that it was Kai who gave me that feeling first. He was my first for everything. It’s hard to forget that. Even though we may not be together, I still have love for him. That feeling will never go away.
Kai
May 25th, 2019
“Wooo!” I yell, standing up and clapping with everyone else that came out to watch Amari graduate from second grade. I turn and look over at Blakely, who is wiping tears from her eyes as if this is the first graduation we’ve been to for Amari. There are many more to come and probably many more tears from her. I never realized how many graduation kids get. I thought they only did high school and college. But since Amari has been in school, her teachers have always done a small graduation for each year she finishes. B catches me smirking at her and shoves my shoulder lightly. My smirk turns into a quiet laugh as I watch her wipe her tears. I catch Liam out of the corner of my eye, looking over at us as we laugh with one another. The moment I look up at him, he turns away from us and continues clapping.
I whisper into her ear, “Are you going to cry at every graduation she has? We have a lot of graduations to go.”
“Shut up, Kai.” She bumps my shoulder. “I can’t believe how fast she’s grown,” she says, watching Amari take a seat next to her best friend, Emma.
“Ourdaughter has grown up so fast. It feels like just yesterday we were sending her off to her first day of preschool.”
We take our seats as B giggles and says, “And what a disaster that was.”
I never knew it was such a big deal for moms to send their kids off to their first day of school—until B called me in tears the night before Amari’s first day.
I was drifting off to sleep when I noticed B calling. "Hello,” I say, my voice groggy.
"Kai,” B says shakily.
I spring up from my bed, heart racing. “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” She sniffles between her words, making it hard to understand her. I swing my legs out of my bed and head for my closet. “I can’t understand you. Is Amari okay? Are you okay?”
“Yes.” She whimpers.
I slide my jeans on as fast as I can with my phone between my head and shoulder. “Then why are you crying?”
“Because it’s Amari’s first day of school tomorrow.”
