“Do you call yourself that to make yourself feel more important?” He chuckles.
“No. I am her godmother.” Paige sits cross-legged on the floor with Amari on her lap.
“Whatever you have to tell yourself to feel important.”
Paige’s jaw hardens as her frown deepens. “Why are you such a dick?”
“No, thank you.”
“What?No, thank youwhat?”
“No, thank you. I don’t want to give you my dick.” Kevin takes a chug of his beer.
Kai and I are used to Kevin’s dry humor, so we sit here and watch them bicker without saying a word.
“Ew. I didn’t say I wanted your dick. I said youarea dick,” she says in a stern tone.
“Mhm, sure.”
Paige looks at me and Kai. I shrug my shoulders at her, and Kai attempts to hold in his laughter.
“You guys are no help.” She sighs. “Anyway. Are you guys going to do anything later tonight?”
“I’m going to a party,” Kevin says and smashes his beer can.
No wonder he started chugging beer.
My heart sinks wondering if Kai is going to go with him. I look over at Kai, who’s been pretty quiet. I can’t read his face as he stares at Amari.
“Can I go with you?” Paige asks Kevin.
“Sure. But I’m not babysitting you if you get drunk.”
“There is never a doubt in my mind that you would ever take care of someone else other than yourself.”
“Good. We’re on the same page.”
Paige rolls her eyes and looks over at me. “B, you should come with me.”
Her eyes go wide when I give her a stern look. Kai sees her expression and looks over at me. “I’m going to stay in. You go and have fun.”
Kai turns his attention away from me when I turn back over to look at him. There is still no emotion on his face. I still can’t tell what he’s thinking.
A couple of hours later, Kai, Amari, and I bundle up in our coats and wave goodbye to Kevin and Paige as we walk back to our apartment.
I was on edge for the remainder of the night as I wait to hear the wordsI’m going out. But those words never came. My tension was finally released after watching only Paige and Kevin drive off to the party.
After all this time, I think Kai finally realizes the weight of his actions. Maybe he was dealing with his issues, like the death of his dad or the fear of becoming a father. Maybe Kai is finally getting it. Whatever it is or was, I’m relieved he stayed.
“I’ll see you later, Princess,” Kai whispers to Amari, who is sleeping peacefully in her crib. Leaning down, he places a soft kiss on her forehead. Then, he turns to me and presses a quick kiss on my lips. “I’ll see you later,” he whispers before leaving the room.
“Okay.” The weight of exhaustion is pulling at my eyelids from being up all night with Amari, and I fall back asleep.
The sound of Amari’s babbling pulls me from my sleep, and I sit up in bed, rubbing my eyes and watching her kick her little legs and play with her toys that dangle above her. A smile tugs at my lips. “Hi, my baby,” I say.
Rolling out of bed, I watch Amari lie there, cooing softly to herself, her chubby cheeks flushed with warmth. I scoop her up into my arms, breathing in the scent of baby lotion that lingers on her skin.
Our morning routine has become second nature now. I feed Amari before feeding myself. Once we’re both fed, I get us ready for the day. It always helps me feel better when I get myself ready and don’t sit in pajamas all day like I used to. It took me a few months to get a routine going and to get Amari in a routine, too. That makes it easier for me to schedule what I have to do for the day; it’s usually not much other than my packets and taking care of her. She is old enough to be contentfor a little while I work on my schooling, or I do them while she naps. When she was a newborn, I was constantly taking care of her and trying to catch up on sleep. I fell behind doing my packets during that time because it was so hard to concentrate and stay awake. I try to keep the apartment as clean as I can, but it always looks so cluttered since we have no room for anything. Everything is out in the open.
