Paige's eyebrows raise. “Are you starving or something?”
“Pretty much. I hardly have time for anything, and I’m so tired of microwave meals.” I raise my smoothie. “So, thanks. This is a bighelp.”
“You’re welcome. So, where is my sweet goddaughter?” Paige asks as she walks toward the hallway.
“Do not go in there,” I say sternly. Paige freezes and looks over her shoulder. “She’s sleeping and if you wake her, I’m going to kill you.”
Her shoulders round, and she walks back over to the couch. “But I miss her.”
“How about you stay with her at night since you miss her so much?” I slump down on the couch next to Paige.
She takes a sip of her smoothie. “Is this why you look like you haven’t slept in days?”
“Do I look that bad?”
Paige presses her lips together and nods.
I sigh. “She’s up every two hours at night. By the time I fall back asleep, she’s awake again.”
“Kai doesn’t help you?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Well…kind of,” I say.
She crosses her legs on the couch and looks around the messy living room. We have no room for storage because the only linen closet we have had to be turned into Amari’s closet. Bags of diapers and wipes are piled in the corner of the living room. Both Amari’s bouncer and swing sit right in front of the TV, giving us a little space between those and the couch to walk through the living room. Bottles and burp rags are laying all around the living room. “I know it’s a mess.”
“It’s okay. I don’t care,” she says with a slight smile. “How are you and Kai doing with everything?”
I think about the past two weeks. No, not even the past two weeks. The past month and a half makes me burst into tears.
“Why are you crying? I didn’t mean to make you cry!” Paige says, scooting closer to me.
I glance around my living room from behind my cloudyeyes. “Everything has changed so much in such a short amount of time.”
“That happens with a baby. You need to give it some time. Everything will be okay,” she says in a soothing voice.
“No,” I say between my sobs. “Everything changed before Amari got here.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ever since his dad passed away, it hasn’t been the same, and now it’s even worse.”
“I forgot about that.”
This is the first time I’ve said something to anyone. Sadly, there is no one else I would say anything to. “He won’t talk to me about anything, and I’ve tried to give him space, but it feels like we’re moving further apart, and now with Amari, it’s making it worse.”
“Both of your lives have changed so fast in such a short amount of time. I wouldn’t overthink it too much. He’s probably in mourning.”
The small apartment echoes Amari's cries. Paige jumps off the couch before I get up. “I’ll get her.”
She runs to the bedroom and before long, she’s coming back my way.
“Hi, my goddaughter. It’s your godmother, Paige,” she coos while rocking her in her arms. I lean my back against the couch and let Paige soothe her. If I had more help during the day, it would make things a little easier. I could at least clean up around here and make a proper meal for myself. Even though Amari sleeps throughout the day, all I end up doing is sleeping, too. I’m just completely and totally exhausted.
“Daddy’s home,”I whisper to a sleeping Amari as Kai walks through the door. My brows furrow as he gets closer to me. Something is off. Underneath the sweat and dirt, his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are glossed over.
He leans down, kisses Amari on the cheek, and then moves his lips toward me. I jerk back.
“What?” he questions.
