“Did you and Kai have sex?”
Thinking back to the few times we had sex. No. I can’t be pregnant. We’ve only had sex a few times, and I know it only takes one time, but no. I can’t be. There’s no way.
No.
No.
I am not pregnant.
Paige shoves my shoulder. “You bitch. You lost your virginity, and you never told me.”
With how much sneaking out and partying I was doing, I forgot to tell Paige that I went through with it. I knew she would make a big deal about it. Now that I think about it, it all seems like a lifetime ago.
“Paige.” I look up at her before puking into the toilet again.
To say how exhausted I am is an understatement. It feels like every ounce of energy has been drained from my body. Idon’t want to tell my mom I’m sick again because that would be a huge a red flag. Instead, I decide to wait until lunchtime to go get a pregnancy test so I can say bye to Kai. I’m too nervous to tell him what’s going on; I want to make sure first.
Now, Paige is driving me to a drug store. Luckily, Paige drove her mom’s car today. She said her mom is loosening up with her. Although Paige thinks she’s sick of taking her to school because her mom works nights, and it disrupts her sleep.
My body hasn't stopped shaking since those three little words Paige asked.
Are you pregnant?
As we approach the drug store, the sliding doorswhooshopen, welcoming my anxious mind and body into the brightly lit store. There’s a few Walgreens in close proximity to us, but we chose the one that’s the farthest away out of the bunch. We can’t risk running into anyone.
I walk down the aisle that’s described asfamily planning and feminine care. Before I find the tests, I pass the section of condoms.
Those would have come in handy.
We head to the family restroom after purchasing a test.
“How long do you have to wait?”
“It says three minutes,” I say.
The anticipation is killing me. What will Kai say? What will he do? Those thoughts run on repeat in my mind as we wait for the result. I trust Kai will want to be involved, but you never know what will happen in the future. I’ve always told myself I do not want to be a single mom. I’ve had a front row seat to the struggles my mom has faced as a single parent, and I’ve never wanted that for myself. Maybe Kai will be different, though, especially since he’s being raised by a single mom right now. Actually, he’s being raised by his brother—if his brother is even raising him. Kai’s pretty much raising himself. Not tomention, Kai’s dad was never around, even when his parentsweretogether. That gives me a little bit of hope. He would never want his own child to be raised like that.
“B, I think it’s time.”
On a shaky inhale, I flip the test over. At this moment, I feel like I’m being hit with a lightning bolt. Staring back at me are those two pink lines that most women are so happy to see. But for me, it’s another reminder of what I shouldn’t have done. I’m a teenager. What the hell am I going to do? Fear rushes through me at the thought of telling Kai and my mom that I’m pregnant.
Paige leans over my shoulder and gasps as she looks down at the test. Tears fill my eyes as I stand there—frozen.
I have no idea what my next move should be, but I’m going to have to figure it out.
And soon.
I had a whirlwind of emotions when I got home yesterday. I didn’t know how to act, but I knew I had to act normal so my mom wouldn’t suspect anything. I heard the best time to take a pregnancy test is in the morning, so I brought home two pregnancy tests. I hid them beneath my dirty clothes and woke up extra early, so no one saw me carrying the test in my hand as I walked into the bathroom.
Once again, those two pink lines were staring back at me. Not two, but four. Because right after the first one, I took another one to make sure.
Another positive.
The dread over telling Kai hits me harder now that the time has come. I could have asked my mom if I could call him, but I wanted to tell him face-to-face. I wanted to see his body language to make sure he wouldn’t lie to me over the phone about being okay with this. He could lie to me in person, but I’ll be able to read him better this way.
“Hey,” I mumble as I walk up to Kai. He’s been waiting for me by the front doors.
He pulls me into a hug. I squeeze him a little tighter, hoping this isn’t the last time he’ll hold me.
