No one questioned where I was. The work continued as if uninterrupted. Fallon was silent in the other room, but messages came in from him. All work-related as if nothing was wrong.
I still couldn’t relax. He had to be miserable. Yet his numbers did not disappoint. His genius mind shone through even though it must’ve been the most difficult thing for him to maintain clarity.
I sent a message after receiving another set of numbers.
You are amazing.
After a minute, he replied.
You don’t have to stay. I’m feeling a bit better.
I suspected the lie. Reinder heats lasted two to three days. If he’d started not feeling well late last night, it hadn’t even been twenty-four hours.
Need more coffee?
I waited.
I’ll come get it,he texted.
I wouldn’t have it.
Stay where you are. I’ll be in and out fast.
That didn’t sound right. I kept finding inappropriate innuendos in my words. My mind swam with images of Fallon in scenarios that were definitely not professional or proper as his boss.
I jumped up from the couch, checked that the coffee pot was still hot, and took it to the door of his room. I knocked, then turned the knob. He knew I was coming so I didn’t wait for his verbal response.
Slowly, I pushed it open.
Pheromones hit me hard, the air like a lure to a lost man. Fallon’s computer had slid halfway off his lap. He was slumped on his pillows, covers pulled up, his lovely hair, damp, pushed back at the temples.
The tray from the afternoon breakfast had been set on the floor.
Fallon’s mouth opened. “You can’t come any closer.” His voice was high and thready.
I held up the pot of coffee. “Just a quick refill for you, okay? You’re doing well. Your work is everything we need to get through this.”
He turned his head away from me, looking impossibly miserable.
I moved forward and filled the mug on his nightstand. In my pocket I’d put packets of creamer. I reached in and grabbed them, dumping them next to the mug.
“What else do you need?” I asked.
I was now only about couple of feet away from him. I knew very well what he needed. The ache was within me, too.
“I don't think I can do this. I'm sorry. You shouldn't be here.”
“Relax and breathe.”
He leaned back and closed his eyes. At his sides, his hands shook.
“I know you want me to leave and that this isn't fair. But Christmas is depending on you.”
“No.” He covered his face with his hands.
“It's not fair. I need you. I'm being selfish as your boss but I am telling you the truth. We have to get through the next day and a half. The world can't wait.”
He nodded and whispered, “I know.”
