“But I want it,” I whined.
He chuckled, his chest shuddering.
I craved everything with him, all barriers erased. All vulnerabilities exposed. I wanted to watch him come apart andthen break myself into little pieces to mix in with it all. He made me feel like I was someone I’d always wanted to be.
His bed was so comfortable. We slept tangled together. I wanted the night to last forever.
Alas, it was only one weekend, although one of many.
19
Aspen
“Mom, I have plans. I can’t come this year for Jordan and Elliot’s birthdays.”
“Plans? I thought you’d make the effort after missing Christmas.”
It was the middle of January, and I still hadn’t told my parents about Dale. I wasn’t ashamed or nervous or anything like that; it was pure selfishness. I didn’t want to share him yet. He was my new thing, all mine. I wanted him to myself for now.
If I told, my entire family would start hounding me with a million questions.
“I’ll send nice gifts.”
Jordan and Elliot were my older brothers. Their birthdays were two days apart in January and my mom and dad always threw a big, shared party for them. It was tradition.
“It’s the same time every year,” Mom said. “Why did you make plans?”
“The plans sort of just happened.”
“I can hear it in your voice. It’s something good? Work-related?”
“It’s good, Mom. That’s all.”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing. It’s nothing. I just—I’m busy.”
“Whyaren’t you telling me?”
“There is no ‘why’.” I cleared my throat. “I have a life you know.”
Over the phone, her gasp sounded like she was choking. “You’ve met someone! Karl! Karl! Our Aspen has met someone!”
I shut my eyes and threw my head back onto a throw pillow on my couch. I needed to let her go now. I couldn’t take more. Plus, I wanted to call Dale. He was working late but promised he’d be home to take my call in his bed by nine.
We were still on the weekends-only schedule. It wasn’t enough for either of us. Things were going to have to change. But though we both complained, the change part had not been broached in conversation.
“Tell me his name,” Mom demanded.
“Later. I’m getting a call I have to take. Bye.”
Quickly, I ended the call and tapped the screen to call Dale. He answered immediately, camera on. There he was, topless in his bed, the covers just barely covering his nipples.
I turned my camera on.
“Hi there,” he greeted.
Everything was right with my world now that I could see him and hear him. It would have been better if I could feel and smell him as well, but life and work intruded.
