“Of course I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you all over your body all the time.”
“That's a relief.” He walked over to me and cupped my cheek. “What's going on?”
“It's just that the New Year's arrival means tomorrow we have to leave.”
His shoulders slumped. “I don't want to leave, either. But I want to spend every second we have left being happy with you.”
“Me, too.”
“And we’re going to see each other all the time, right?”
“Weekends and evenings.” I didn't smile when I said that. I wanted to see him in the mornings when I woke up. I wanted to sleep by his side all night long. I wanted him to know that when he was at work and I was at work that when we got off work we would be going home to the same place and see each other every night for the rest of our lives.
Was that too much to ask?
Aspen took my hand and led me out the front door. We walked slowly through the night. The sky was clear, the stars like scattered sequins on dark velvet. It would be the last time this year I would see a sky like that. In the city the bright lights blotted out the stars.
This place was magic, and I breathed deeply of it.
Aspen sensed my melancholy. He leaned up against my shoulder and softly spoke. “We can come back, you know. This place isn't going anywhere.”
“I know.” But right now, that didn't fix how I was feeling.
17
Aspen
As soon as we walked through the front doors of the lodge and into the main lobby, the noise level that greeted us was almost a shock. Someone handed us funny paper hats. There was a table set up with piles of noisemakers. Flat screen TVs were on in every corner showing the countdown to midnight. A live band played fast tempo-ed music. There was an open bar in the great room at one end as well as the real hotel bar which was packed with people.
Dale and I stood in line for drinks.
I felt his sadness through our newly forged bond. I couldn't deny some of that was me, as well. I didn't want to think about facing a minute apart from him, let alone hours or days before we'd meet up again.
When I got up to the bar I ordered hard liquor. A whiskey sour. “Make it a double,” I added.
I felt Dale’s gaze on me, but I didn't flinch.
Dale ordered his favorite holiday drink. Spiked cider.
I planned to get nice and loaded. It might spoil our evening afterward, but for now I wanted to erase the future and live in the moment.
We drank and we danced. We freely kissed and ran our hands through each other's hair. I wanted to hold him tight, feel him against me. Surrounding me. I would have bent over for him right here on the dance floor if it wouldn’t have gotten me arrested.
When we took a break, I grabbed another drink. And another.
The countdown was getting closer to midnight.
I was hanging on Dale, now, drunk and happy and sad. Three things that I didn’t like to mix up too much.
“Night and weekends,” I shouted over the din.
Dale held me up. “What?”
“To see you.”
“Okay.”
The people started to chant. “Ten, nine, eight….”
