“Of course not. You shouldn’t have to.” Dale pushed his legs over the side of the bed and stood. “I’ll be packed and ready after lunch.”
Just like that. It was over. Our fun times. Sharing the space.
This should have been good news. I could now settle in for the vacation I’d planned. And have a secluded place to be alone for my heat. Why, then, was I disappointed?
My throat went tight. I turned away and walked to the couch. I didn’t want to think about this, and grabbed the remote, tuning the TV to whatever came on first. I heard Dale get up and go into the bathroom.
He came out a short time later fully dressed. I heard him puttering around but refused to look and see what he was doing. Finally, I heard a shuffle behind me.
“What to go grab some breakfast with me?”
I came out of my stupor and saw him standing by the side of the couch. “Sure.”
We were quiet as we walked the cold path to the lodge. Maybe Dale was disappointed, too. As long as we were forced to room together, we had to make the best of it. I felt I’d gained a new friend. But now that we had a choice again, I had to respect Dale’s wishes. He’d wanted peace and quiet, exactly what I’d wanted for this trip. I should have understood that better. But I didn’t.
I’d liked sharing things with someone more than I thought I would. Meals. Fires. Movies. Popcorn. A bed. Dale definitely worked hard to make everything easy for me. He was no problem at all. But if I told him that, it might make him feel some sense of obligation. I didn’t want that.
Truth was, I’d miss him. Maybe a lot.
At breakfast, I said, “Do you still want to meet for the tree lighting tonight?”
His eyes softened. “Of course.”
“Good.”
“And maybe we can have some more meals together,” he said.
“Yeah. I’d like that.”
Every word we spoke sounded rehearsed. Unreal. We’d been on the same wavelength for almost three days and now the channel had changed. We weren’t quite in sync.
“It’ll be great. Meeting for dinner and cider.” I was more trying to convince myself than him. “I don’t mind being alone, but eating alone isn’t as fun. I’d planned room service a lot.”
A smile reached only one edge of his mouth. “I know.”
It would be too weird if I asked him to stay. It might be what I wanted, but I refused to put him on the spot like that.
Breakfast was one of my favorite meals of the day. But today I tasted none of it. It was like eating cooked dust.
After we finished, Dale excused himself to go to the front desk to tell them he was moving. “I might be a while. I need to go to the lodge store and gift shop, too.”
That guy was all about the snacks. By tonight, that would be all gone.
“Fine.”
I wandered back to the cabin by myself.
Get used to it, I told myself.This was what you wanted in the first place.
My reindeer flexed deep inside.Want. But need?
He was right. I thought this vacation had been the right decision. A break from my loving but oppressive family. A time to spoil and indulge myself with no plans, nothing pressing. A time to endure my heat alone and come out strong. Sure, I needed that. But Dale had shown me maybe there was more.
I kicked at a snow drift in my frustration, watching the ice fall across the walkway. It didn’t help, so I kicked another, messing up the neat and tidy path. I didn’t care.
This place had messed with my plans. Now they were messing with them again. Winter Wonderland Wilderness Resort? It looked pretty and serene and Christmassy, but it was a trick.
I should never have come.
