His face fell. “That sounds exhausting.”
“It is. But I love what I do. And I can get lost in it and not think of anything else.”
“What about family, friends, a partner?” He removed the candles and books off the low coffee table in front of the TV and placed the puzzle box on it.
“The restaurant I work at is my parents’, so I spend time with my family often. And as far as friends are concerned, they tend to come and go. Most are married or have moved away. Anyattempt at a relationship ends with the other party resenting my job and my working hours. So I gave up on that.” I focused on Kaos spilling the puzzles on the table to avoid his gaze. His openness and wonder pushed me to reveal too much about myself too fast, and I didn’t need to see the judgement in his eyes that was surely there.
“Sounds harsh. But at least they’re rejecting you because of your hardworking qualities, so it’s on them. My relationships end because I’m a disaster.” Kaos spread the pieces and began turning them color side up.
“That can’t be true.” As I said it, I recalled my reaction to his mistake in booking this house for next year. Fuck. I’d been such an ass. My tentacles travelled toward the sweet kitten, and I grazed his legs with the barest of touches.
“I’m too clingy, too enthusiastic, too clumsy, too chaotic.” He counted it all on his fingers. “And worst of all: naïve. I remained friends with my ex-boyfriend and convinced my girlfriend that we could all hang out. She dumped me for him last week.” Ah, so he was bisexual. I appreciated that he talked so freely about it around me.
He grabbed my tentacle under the table and placed it on his lap, stroking it with one hand, as he continued with the puzzles.
It had been nearly two days and I still couldn’t get used to Kaos’s casual acceptance of my appendages. They yearned to touch him as if all of this was…normal. “They’re assholes and don’t deserve you.”Did I?Whoa, nope. I’d had my heart broken before, but this adorable kitten could shatter it beyond repair if I let him.I won’t.
“The fucked-up thing is that I miss them. They look so happy in pictures on social media; I wish the best for them. If only I could be as strong as you and decide that love is not for me and move on. But I can’t. I dream of a forever person who would get me, and not try to change me to fit some mold, and meetsome arbitrary expectations.” He poked at the puzzles with his finger. “I’m hopeless. I was a ball of sadness when I booked this trip after the breakup. Then I threw myself into content creating even more. At least it’s a fun way to earn extra income.”
“But your main job is mourning at funerals?” My puzzle corner was growing, all looking like Lake Michigan, confirming that it was the bottom of the picture of the Chicago skyline.
“Yeah. My blog and affiliations bring in some money, but not enough to quit my job. And my family keeps telling me it’s stupid, so I’m losing faith in why I should even bother.” The negativity was so unlike him, it broke my heart.
“Do you enjoy it?” I grazed my knuckles over his cheek, and he leaned into my touch.
“Yeah.”
“Then fuck the naysayers. What’s your handle?” I snatched my phone from the couch and gave him a pointed look. “Unless you don’t wanna share.”
He held my tentacle with both hands now, stroking, which sent ripples of comfort, but the prolonged contact was getting me horny too.
“I’m on GlobeShack under kaotic_picky_eater with a k.”
I unlocked my phone. “Is that how you spell your name?”
“Yup.”
I popped openGlobeShack. Pretty much all of us nonhuman-presenting creatures were on it. It was the only platform that fully embraced us and our lifestyles. and we were thrilled to finally have a voice. I liked that it allowed for the use of mixed media too.
Kaos’s profile picture showed his face in a theatrical thinking pose with his eyes gleaming with a smile. He was such a ray of sunshine; it was clear even in a quick snapshot of his features. The pinned posts had several million views and focused on Kaosvisiting restaurants and smaller food venues in San Francisco. I immediately clicked the follow button.
“Your page looks amazing, and you've got so many followers. Why would anyone laugh at you for it?”
He shrugged. “It’s just what they do, I guess. I was born small and weak. My parents, and five siblings are all tall and strong, so I always felt like the odd one out. My family is strict about rules, but they’re not all bad.”
“So they can’t appreciate your creative side?”
“They could if it matched their idea of what it should look like.” He hesitated, pulled on his ear, and sat back. “Both of my sisters work as Doms after hours for fun, and all three of my brothers are the dominant parties in their D/S relationships. So I’m the freak in the family on all accounts, you see. The weak, needy bottom. They say stuff as jokes, but I know they mean some of it. I just don’t belong.”
Kaos had the uncanny ability to smack me upside the head with his honesty. He freely gave me the kind of information that not many would throw out there so easily. Clearly, he wasn’t the only one in his family who was familiar with a D/S lifestyle. I held onto my neutral expression as I focused on the other part he mentioned.
“I’m sorry they don’t understand you. It’s on them.” I had an intense need to hug him, as much for his own comfort as mine.
Kaos shrugged, shuffling the puzzle pieces and connecting the pieces of the only red building on the skyline.
“Thanks for letting me rant. I feel like I’m already such a burden on you, and it’s only been two days.”
“You’re not. Even if I wanted to spank you more than once in this short time.”
