Although, he’d been doing that since I’d arrived…
One afternoon, we’d returned from a fifties’ style American diner where we’d stuffed our faces with omlettes for brunch. Marin delivered on his promise to introduce me to the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of the cuisine.
We’d sat on the couch Marin had insisted on sleeping with the mountain tea Marin had brewed. The hate I had for the stupid couch was illogical, but I wanted it gone. I couldn’t hop on top of Marin out of the blue without having a sound reason to. I wasn’t cold, but I sure as fuck was fucking horny. For my best friend. Who’d kissed me like I was his last meal.
I perched on the armrest while Marin spread his tentacles on most of the couch. He looked so mouth-wateringly gorgeous, I was ready to lick him from the tip of his big nose to the end of each tentacle.
“Ner finally texted back. He sayshi.” Marin showed me a pic of a beach on his phone, bringing me back from horny-land.
“Tell him I say hi back. How’s he doing on his trip to Miami? Tell me everything.” I sat up and clapped my hands.
Marin spun his phone on top of his tentacle like he used to do with paint brushes. He’d once said it was a leftover skill after his brother made him play drums for the songs he’d been recording, but all Marin had learned was how to spin the drumsticks. “Struggling with the weight of taking over our family restaurant. He won’t say it, but he’s miserable. I told him to fess up and tell our folks that he won’t do it. Instead, he took up a job in Miami to learn new stuff about running a restaurant.”
“He’s stubborn. Like someone else I know.” I chuckled, and Marin poked my shin with his tentacle. “How’s that going for him?”
“The job is fine, but I think he’s hooking up with some guy he met there.” Marin waggled his eyebrows. “Won’t tell me more about it, but he sounds smitten on the phone.”
I sipped the tea—the one in my mug and the one Marin was spilling. Both hot. “Good for him. Is he still playing guitar or keyboard?”
“Not that I know of. He’s not recording any new music, but he teaches kids how to play. He organized free classes for local kids and loves doing that in his spare time. When I ask him about writing music he gets anxious, so I just leave it alone.”
“I loved the videos he used to send you. He looked happy playing and creating.”
Marin had kept in contact with both his brothers during his time in Berlin, and being his roommate, I got to meet them during their video chats.
“Yeah. He had his ups and downs with it. I know he’s my older brother, but I worry about him and the expectations he’s largely put on himself. He’s gotten it into his head that our parents won’t accept anyone else taking over the place but one of us three. I would be horrible at it, and Spiros is not ready. Besides, the kid’s a cook, not a businessman. And he’s so good too. When you visit one day, you’ll see.”
Whennotif.Maybe the kiss hadn’t ruined everything after all.
“Aww… I remember him when he was this energetic teenager insisting on baking a honey cake for your birthday in the dorm kitchen when your parents visited with him. He said the store didn’t have anything good enough for your birthday celebration.”
Marin chuckled. “Yeah. Can you believe that he’s twenty-five now?”
“Time flies. Is he planning to visit you here? Or Ner, since he’s in the USA now?”
“Spiros may come over for winter next year. He wants to visit a few cities and landmarks. Maybe I’ll go with him. And Ner is going back home for Christmas soon.” Marin gazed towards the window, where the falling snow covered the roofs of buildings on the other side of the street, creating a cosy picture. One very different to winter in Marin’s hometown in Greece.
“But you’re not. You always went back home for the winter break during uni.” My stomach flipped. “You didn’t stay in New York because of me, right? Please tell me I didn’t fuck up your plans.” Guilt churned in my gut and I had to put my tea aside lest I dropped it.
“Oh no, I didn’t want to go this year.” Marin placated me with a pat on my thigh with his tentacle, and I covered it with my hand to keep it there.
“That’s your first year away at Christmas, isn’t it?”
He waved a tentacle in dismissal. “You know how big the event gets, and I’m not feeling that vibe now. This year my parents are hosting, so I can visit them a bit later to catch up, but not when everyone, their cousin, their uncle and pet will be over at my folks’ house. Besides, here I have a rare chance to spoil you.”
“I like the sound of that.” I wiggled in my seat, hope blooming in my chest. “I’ll decorate the apartment and you’ll have a chill Christmas vibe, just like you wanted.”
He smirked. “Stay right here. I’ll get the dip and chips.”
I had to make it worth it for him. He was denying it, but I knew how he loved visiting his family.
If our kiss at the skating rink was anything to go by, Marin was amidst an awakening. Would he be content with skipping family holidays and spending time with me if I helped him figure out his sexuality? Maybe that was the reason he wasn’t going home?
My thoughts were stuck on a ferris wheel. Some days I was way up in the sky, wanting to tell Marin how I felt about him; the next I was in the middle, thinking of helping him come out; then on others I was at the very bottom, dreading our friendship would fall apart if I did any of those other things.
I’d have to jump off the ferris wheel, take Marin with me, and see what happened—or our friendship would forever remain rooted in uncertainty.
I should start with small steps, like setting the mood. I reached for one of the six handmade candles I bought that stood on the table, then took the fancy matches that came as a gift with a big purchase.
