“Sure, pick anything you want.” Kage waved to the shelves packed with records.
Finley rubbed his hands. “You’re playing a dangerous game there, Mister.”
Kage chuckled and turned the amplifier on. “I’ll risk it.”
After a quick browse, Finley found a record ofWhite Rabbitby Jefferson Airplane. He slid the vinyl out, delicately placed it on the platter, and put the needle on.
The psychedelic music filled the air from speakers hung around the room. When he was putting the cover back on a top shelf, he felt Kage’s fingers caress his side where his t-shirt rode up. A shiver ran through Finley and he caught Kage’s hand, bringing it to his lips. He nuzzled the inside of his palm, kissing it again.
Fuck, he was ready to bend over for him after just a look and a delicate touch. He was so far gone for this man it was scary.
Attempting to keep his composure a fraction longer, Finley traced his fingers over book spines. Some were philosophy, business, the kink ones he’d seen at the bookstore, and others he’d never heard of. The fiction books ranged from Tom Clancy to titles that sounded like romance. He pulled out a few to make sure he was right. Yup. Gay romance. Damn.
“I think you’d like these.” Kage tapped over the volumes by Colin Dereham and Nick Christie. “The spice is top-notch.”
Well, damn. Maybe it was time to reconsider his view on the romance genre. “Can I take them home?”
Kage’s hands on Finley’s hips were pure licks of fire. And tonight, he wanted to burn.
“How about you read one while I eat you out spread and tied to my bed?” Kage said into Finley’s ear. “Then I can enjoy how youslowly lose focus until all you can think of is my tongue in your ass.”
“Fuck. You can make even reading a book dirty.”
Kage barked out a laugh. “Clearly, we’ve been reading different books if you think they’re not dirtier than what I said.”
Finley placed his hands over Kage’s. He cared too much to fuck with whatever tentative thing they had cultivated, but his head filled with more and more questions every second. “Are we patching our wounds with sex?” By now, they both knew they were broken in one way or another.
“Partially, maybe.” Kage ran his thumb over Finley’s bottom lip. “I’ve been doing that for six years.”
“But this—” he kissed Kage’s hand, “doesn’t feel wrong.” The pull between them was so intense, Finley fought against yanking Kage close, wrapping his smaller frame into a hug and keeping his face buried in Kage’s neck for hours.
“Because it isn’t.” Kage said, leading them to sit on the couch. “Until recently, I was certain my work and lifestyle was enough. But you made me crave things I didn’t know I’d ever want anymore.”
“It hurt when you called me out on my bullshit, but now I want to take you up on the offer of a therapist. I was convinced I wouldn’t need help like that.” Need anything at all on this plane of existence. “But a lot has changed lately. I did some research and finding anyone close to the scene seems near impossible. I just need more time to come to terms with it before I commit.”
“It’s a big first step.” Kage intertwined their fingers. “And I may have something to celebrate it with.” He kissed Finley’s temple then disappeared into the kitchen. Returning with two bowls and spoons, he presented his offering.
“Mint chocolate chip ice-cream? You like it too?” Finley perked up, reaching for his bowl.
Kage grimaced. “It’s an abomination, if you ask me.” Holding onto the armrest, he lowered himself to the couch next to Finley. “I asked Lucy what was your fave and got it for myself last week after we fought.” He shrugged, inspecting his spoon. With the sheepish expression on his face, he looked so young, and it made Finley understand why he was keeping such a harsh facade at all times. Hopefully, he wouldn’t feel the need to do that when he was with him.
“I’ll get rid of it for you now, so no worries there.” Finley elbowed Kage playfully and dug into his ice-cream. “What’s your favourite?”
Kage grinned, lifting his bowl up. “Vanilla.”
Finley snorted so hard, ice-cream shot up his nose. Tears sprang to his eyes, but he coughed and swallowed what remained in his mouth. “You? Vanilla?”
Kage huffed in mock annoyance. “Well, they don’t have cuffs and rope flavour, Finley.”
His beautiful laughter wrapped over Finley like a warm blanket knitted of everything that was good in this world. They finished their ice-cream and drifted to each other. Finley luxuriated in the lazy way Kage traced the tattoos on his forearm, the touch making his hairs stand on end. His sigh was of utter contentment and one he hadn’t released in years.
With his head on Kage’s shoulder, he wrapped his arms around his slim waist and took in more details of the living room. The neat space was sparse in decoration, so the pot on the windowsill drew Finley’s attention.
“Is that a real cactus?” he asked, eyeing the palm-sized plant.
“Yup. I can’t take care of anyone for long. Not people, not flowers. But the cactus hasn’t given up on me yet.”
“Well, then, I have something in common with it. I’m not going anywhere, either.” Finley nudged Kage’s cheek with hisnose. “Why does the pot say Hug Me?” The explosion of colours on it made it stand out even more on the white sill.
