“That’s why you thought I invited you out to have a breakup conversation?” Beck loosened his tie and popped the top button open.
“Yeah. If we met in a pub, I’d think we were okay, but a romantic outing screamed good-bye to me.” Confessing everything without wrapping it into a funny anecdote was like arriving naked to a presentation at work. I was exposed, but Beck deserved to see me to make an informed decision if he truly wanted me. “I liked all my girlfriends, and I could’ve even imagined a future with some of them when we were still together. It wouldn’t be a future I would choose for myself, though. But one I’d agree to for them. It’s different with you.”
“Like we speak the same language,” Beck said as if he plucked the thought from my head.
“Exactly. It’s so easy with you it scares me. It feels like if I don’t have to sacrifice a piece of myself for a relationship, I’m not worth it.”
“That’s… Cay.” He turned to take both my hands in his. “I want you as you are. Don’t ever change. Not unless you want to. Not for me. Please.”
“You too. Your grumpiness, your understanding, and your openness… balance my chaos.”
“We fit.”
I nodded.
“I want to come out to my friends,” Beck said. “To everyone. But it was hard thinking about it when I wasn’t sure you’d be there with me.”
“Why come out if your next date might be a woman? Yeah, I get it.” I scooted closer until our hips met. “I thought the same. But even if that were the case, I want to be true to myself and the person I’m with. For me, it means being out to the world. I’m not planning on wearing a bi pin to work but—”
“Not even for a Christmas party?” Beck smirked, and I wanted to kiss him and throttle him all at once. Then grapple him until we were both sweaty. And naked.
I punched his arm. “Maybe. So I can flirt with Jake from accounting.”
Beck mock gasped, hand on his chest. “You wouldn’t.”
“Nah, but everyone would still think I’m flirting. People take my being nice for trying to get into their pants way too often.” I thought of all the times a girlfriend accused me of cheating when I’d been helping someone. “Looking back now, I was a party trick or arm candy, Iguess? And with you—” I shook my head. “You weren’t out, so I assumed I was your sex experiment. ’Cause otherwise, what would you want me for?
“Fool of a Took.” Beck clapped his thigh in mock exasperation and grinned. “To be with me. Be my other half. That’s what I want.”
“So we’re definitely dating, then? Full-on boyfriends? Uh, partners?” I frowned, tasting the words. “Sounds like we own a firm together.”
“Whichever works.” Beck chuckled.
“You know what this means, don’t you?” I waggled my brows, not hiding my giddiness.
“I’m afraid to ask.”“I can borrow your fancy-ass clothes.” I pinched the shirt I bought especially for tonight, then poked Beck’s pecs.
“Pft. Knock yourself out. I’ll be hanging out in your comfy hoodies in the meantime.”
“Okay, that’s not fair.”
“All is fair in love and war.”
“In what?” I choked out.Love?My heart! Where did it go? Had it beaten out of my chest?
My body wilted as if I was a balloon losing air, but Beck caught me and wrapped his arms around me.
“Come here.” Beck pulled me into a hug, and I swore his heart pounded as fast as mine.
I took a deep breath, nuzzling my face into the collar of his shirt, then kissing above it. The short stubble againstmy lips and the gentle scent of his cologne were such a small taste when I wanted to have him whole, kiss and lick every part of him. Snuggle against him when I went to sleep and wake up in his embrace.
I fisted the soft fabric to pull him closer. “You’re so hot in a suit. And out of it too. Fuck, Beck, what did you do to me?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I want to be crazy about you forever.” I realized what came out of my mouth and held my breath, waiting for Beck’s reaction.
“Good. ’Cause I’m doomed too. You’re not getting rid of me. Ever.”
