I took the spot at the organ, splayed my fingers on the bottom keys, positioning my tentacles on the upper ones. Releasing a breath, I played the series of high notes mixed with the low, doomsday sound only a magnificent organ like this could produce. I closed my eyes and imagined a post-apocalyptic city in ruins. I walked through it, the imminent fear and anger permeating my existence.
Then, Rick’s voice permeated my soul.
The weight of my guilt crushing my chest grew heavy with time.
Even if they said it wasn’t fault of mine.
I hoped to find myself but instead, I became an empty shell.
How long can I stand this? How long can I be this?
This disaster waiting to disappear into the air.
Then you, you waltzed into my life.
It’s not fair.
How dare you bring your light?
Tempt me to join your side.
I want it. I need it. More than air when my head’s under water.
Can the ocean waves of your touch wash away the heavy sand filling my soul?
Can the shape of you in the moonlight illuminate the darkness of my life?
You dragged me out of ruin with just a dimpled smile.
My upper limbs glided through the keyboard until it was time for the bridge. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as it hit me why Rick had never sung the lyrics before. They were about me. How hadn’t I known that I affected him so much? Stupid.
The sound I recorded in Orlando was marked so I engaged it and used the pedal to adjust its speed, adding a high sound to contrast with the low C of the organ.
For you.
Only you.
Cause I’m a sucker for you.
I snorted a tear-filled laugh and continued playing, glad I knew the song so well as the intensity of my affection for Rick threatened to bring me to my knees.
The song ended and Rick came over, took me by the shoulders and mouthed “thank you.”
“What the fuck, Rick?” I laughed through unshed tears.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. We’re not allowed to make last minute changes, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to pull it off.” He spoke so fast, I took his hands in mine and squeezed. “I didn’t want to promise you something then not deliver. So—”
“Shh.” I bumped my forehead into his mask-covered one. His sweaty palms felt wonderful in mine, and the way he worried about me even if he’d just made my wildest dreams come true, warmed my heart. I loved all of it. I loved…him.“They’re asking for an encore. I’ll wait for you.” Pushing him away, I stepped back and watched him return to the mic.
He looked at me over his shoulder one last time, then played like the rockstar he was.
Legs wobbly and hearts fluttering, I shuffled down the stairs and listened to the rest of the set from backstage. I swayed, singing the lyrics but my head was still processing what had happened, floating, drunk on adrenaline and excitement.
Chapter Thirteen
Nereus
“Youfuckingrockedtoday,new guy.” Zoe punched my shoulder so hard I knew she meant it. I bumped the fist she offered and relaxed at her toothy grin.
