I slow down enough to see what I am doing on my phone and click over to the app with the new song. I like to hear new music whilst I run, so I can play it over and over and get into the words.
Caleb slows down to my stride as I queue up the song.
‘Last song,’it’s titled.
Ok,fuckthat shit.
Baylor doesn’t give titles to his songs most of the time. Is he trying to be fucking melodramatic? Flippant? What did it mean for him to title the second to last song this way?
I grit my teeth. There is still one more song after this. So why the name?
I almost decide to not even listen to it right now.
Another mile and I give in.
If Baylor wants to be fuckingpreciousabout this, then he can. I’ll listen to the damn song and pass it along and Baylor can write me something he doesn’t want to be so goddamned pretentious about.
The pain in my chest isn’t from the run.
I hear Caleb grunt beside me, and fuck, I’ve sped up for God knows how long. I snicker despite myself. It was long enough to make a Marine grunt.
I’m not ripped with muscles like Caleb. I am lean, and I run more than I drink. I do yoga more than I party. I’m not a fucking monk, but I am a kid who made it big, and I don’t plan to mess that shit up.
When I got to LA, a mentor of mine said I needed to pick what my addiction would be and stick with it. One addiction makes you endearing, two and you are a liability.
At that sage advice, I bought the nicest pair of running shoes I could find and never stopped. The best thing outside of bed this shitty morning has been that I got so pissed off I ran fast enough to make a Marine take a few extra breaths.
I give Caleb a shrug of apology and slow my pace. He gives me a nod that I know means for me to run at my own speed, he will be right behind me. So, I do, taking off faster than Caleb by a little bit, but slower than I was going at first. I have no doubt that if anything happens, he can easily catch me, but we haven’t passed anyone else so far.
I click the damn song.
Acoustic guitar lights up my ears, and I smile. If I didn’t know better, I would say it was Baylor himself but I know it isn’t.
He never sings on these demos. Never gives mehisvoice. Oh no. I had to sneak into Bear Valley to get that.
I doubt if he would play for me, either.
I’m fucking wrong.
Baylor’s unique whiskey over rocks voice swallows me whole.
I don’t stumble, don’t give Caleb another reason to worry about me this morning. If Caleb worries, that means Nix will worry.
The song plays through and my heart hammers. I don’t hear one fucking word he sings. I just hear the cadence of his voice, feel the love he is putting into that guitar to coax out those sounds.
Last New Year’s I snuck into Black Diamond to hear him play. And once more before that. But having Baylor’s voice right in my ear in such an intimate way is something I haven’t had in years.
I’m gutted before I even get to the lyrics.
It’s just an acoustic, Fender, I’m sure, and Baylor Mann’s voice.
Then, I let the song wash over me as I run and run.
Baylor Mann on repeat.
Finally, I stop running and hit the shower. Caleb is grunting at me, and I know I will get the third degree in “what the fuck is up with Cas” from Nix at some point today.
But, my mind is a buzz from that song, and I need time alone in my head.
