“I just wish you would have told me. But, this is good. You both go to the things, get photographed and get the rumor mill turning, but, for the love of god, don’t confirm or deny, can you do that?”
“Sure,” I say, because I’m here with Cas, and if I say two words to the press that will be a miracle.
Cas smirks. “So, just do what I was going to do anyway, before you yelled at me?”
Vernon straightens his suit. “I didn’t yell.”
Nix clears her throat from her position on the other side of the room.
“Don’t answer any other questions, either,” she contributes. “There won’t be a press stop for you on this one, you just arrive, smile, attend the show, and then walk the carpet for the backdrop at the after-party.”
“Someone, hell everyone, will want a sound bite,” Vernon muses. “How long it’s been going on, where you are living, that sort of thing. Again, if you say nothing people can speculate, but once you open that door. . .” He trails off, his hand still moving like it’s carrying the conversation even though he quit talking.
I look toward Cas, ice sinking in my gut. I see all the questions I haven’t asked Cas, or myself. Like, where this whole thing is going or how we could make the distance work? Where will Cas be living after the shoot? Will this paparazzi craziness follow him to Bear Valley?
I force myself to footnote all that. For thirteen years I waited to have something with Cas, and now I have it. If he wants to talk about all that, he will. And until then, I don’t need to let it get in our way.
I’m not done with him, wherever this lands.
Even if we had sat down and talked things out about our feelings, it wouldn’t have changed how we left it back then. We wanted different things. We had different things we had to learn and sort out for ourselves.
But, still, there was a mistake somewhere, and I’m not going to let that happen this time.
Just, maybe not tonight.
Cas is restless about this premiere. I can tell he feels like he is hiding, and now, he’s worried about dragging me into the limelight.
“Last chance, Bee,” Cas says from his window seat. “Once they see us together, the gloves will be off.”
Nix tsks, and flips her tablet, showing us a cloudy picture of us kissing on the set. We have already seen that picture and article, speculating about Caswell Vaughn’s new man. My name hasn’t been attached yet, but that doesn’t change anything.
“I can handle it,” I tell them. “I don’t want anyone using us for something other than what it is. Whether that is the studio, or the paparazzi, or some over-eager fan.”
“Doing it this way is honest,” Cas says. “I never wanted anything other than to live my life and that’s what I am doing. I’m not giving some interview to explain my private life.”
Vernon puts up his hands again. “I support you, Cas. All I am saying is that when these issues come up, I can help. But, in this instance, I agree with your strategy. Just, run it by me next time.”
“Sure.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to do any exclusive interview or a press release?”Vern asks, not for the first time.
Cas’s gaze bores into mine, and all those questions I had before bubble right back up again. But, he doesn’t say anything. I wonder if he feels it too. This thing between us is burning hot and fast, and that doesn’t mean it will burn itself out, but it also doesn’t lend a whole lot to sustainability. We haven’t talked about the future at all.
My mind wants to go back there, but no. This is what I didn’t do thirteen years ago. I didn’t go with him to LA; Caswell faced this crazy world of fame and talent alone, and I’m not going to let that happen again, especially with someone making threats.
“Whatever we have to say, we will do in our own time, Vern. That’s all I can give you,” Cas says, sounding more businessman than rockstar.
Before the conversation can go farther, there is a knock at the door to the suite and Caleb is there holding two garment bags.
“Want these in the bedroom?” he asks, and Cas makes his way toward me.
“Yeah,” Cas says, “we need to get ready.”
I smile, but Cas has that look again, the one that says he’s ready to fuck shit up, so at least the night won’t be boring.
The lights of the camera flashes are white hot against the dark of night, leaving rings on the outside of my vision.
Cas pulls me tighter, our hands linked, and he puts his arm to his back, bringing me to his side. We follow the woman leading the way down the red carpet.
