“It’s good to see you, Nix.”
“I’m Cas’s PA these days.”
“So I heard. Congratulations.”
“This is Danni,” Nix says, motioning to a woman I hadn’t even noticed walk in, “she’s from the label, I think you two might have talked on the phone.” I nod in Danni’s direction, recognizing the name as Nix continues on. “And Henry Monto, from the project, is going to join us via video call. The tall wall of muscle back there is Caleb, and he provides Cas’s security. I’m sure you won’t even notice him.” She leans forward and on the tips of her toes, forcing me to lower to her height to hear her. “He’s also my husband,” she whispers.
I glance over at the wall of muscle and grin at her. “Well played.”
Nix gives me a good-natured punch in the arm, and it all seems so normal, so like the old days, I can feel my shoulders unbind.
“It’s all fine, Nix,” Jack says, taking over. “We are just waiting for Henry to join in.” He gestures to the table, all set up and waiting for Henry’s face to fill the large screen at the far end. “In the meantime, please have some coffee or some pastries. I’m not going to lie, they are to die for. You can thank my brother-in-law.” He pats his flat stomach.
“That’s Matt’s guy, right? Theo?” Cas asks Jack and as Jack agrees I hold back my surprise that Cas knows who Theo is.
Somehow the thought that Cas would know anything about my life was never one I had entertained.
I can tell by the conversation happening around us that it is time for the meeting to start, so Cas and I walk over to Jack’s conference table and sit side by side.
I feel Jack’s gaze, and Nix’s, but they don’t say anything other than what is needed to move the meeting along.
Before I can stare too hard and catalog the differences between now Cas and then Cas, Henry joins the meeting.
“So, this is simple,” Henry says when we get to the meat of things. The pleasantries and small talk to get started went over my head. I’m two steps behind literally everyone today and that’s not changing.
I’m trying like hell to do anything other than stare at Cas or come across like a stalker. “Like a lot of biopics before it, we want this River Phoenix project to have a unique sound, tailored to the movie specifically. All original songs. We would release the soundtrack as an album with Cas’s label, and since he’s had several albums out we all can guess at most of the specifics there. What we really want though, is a collaboration. Cas is going to play River in the film, so having him able to sing on screen songs he co-wrote for the film is really what we want.”
I raise my eyebrow at Cas. I mean, it’s not that I don’t see it. He looks like River Phoenix, except for being taller. That comparison has been made too, just like the James Dean one. It won’t take much movie magic to make him believable in the role. And now I know why Jack and I needed to sign NDA’s to even be able to take this meeting.
This is a big studio production with a big star headlining it. It’s a leap — a bold move by Cas.
It’s just that I never knew he was interested in acting. Cas has always been the music man to me, the guy who can intuitively play any instrument his hands land on. So, here I am, feeling the same way about a different Cas. I should have known that my reaction to seeing him would only lead to hurt. More hurt.
“How many songs and what is the timeline?” I ask, trying to hide my panic at realizing the person I loved my entire adult life—and that’s a love I carry down to the bone, is now someone I don’t even know.
It is my worst fear, come to life. I mean, I told myself this was how it would be. That he would be different. Hell, I was banking on it to cure this thing I have for him.
I just didn’t expect that I would still be so in love with him. New Cas or old.
“How is Cas going to film and write?” I ask, before the first question about timeline can even get an answer.
“We are actually filming in Denver, at least a lot with Cas,” Henry says, “so, writing and filming aren’t going to be mutually exclusive.”
I sort of spin out of the meeting at that. In my mind I was thinking of swapping song lyrics across email and video chats. Nice, distanced interaction. Henry made it sound like Cas would be right here. In Bear Valley practically. And if he’s filming in Denver, that’s only an hour away.
“I feel like my brain is on fire,” Cas jokes when the meeting is over. Henry and Danni are gone, and Cas’s is leg is leaning on mine, warm and strong and sure.
“It is a lot to process, but we have the contract they want, and a time-line,” Nix reminds him, and I appreciate it because if all that happened in this meeting, I missed it. Thank god for Jack, because my thinking skills are for shit.
“Maybe we need to give Cas and Baylor some time to think it over,” Jack suggests, and before I know it, Jack and Nix are making arrangements, giving us a quiet corner of the room.
Too long sitting down is my excuse for pacing, but Cas doesn’t care, he looks out the window, staring at the ski slope. His fingers twitch and I know he wishes he had an instrument in them right now. It’s how he thinks.
“Who would have thought, huh?” Cas says. “Someone wanting us to write a movie soundtrack?”
“A movie you will be starring in, no less,” I remind him, and myself. He wants to be a movie star.
He snickers. “Hell, I remember when we had to bus tables just to get to play on a night, other than a Monday, in a sketchy bar.”
