It’s not my usual scene, but I’m glad I came.
Bishop smiles and introduces me to several people, but most here are not faculty. I can tell which of the student-athletes in attendance have had him in class, though, because they sort of light up when he talks to them.
I smile and hand out awards on behalf of the hospital to the graduating students who were part of the clinical program. A million pictures are taken, but I’m proud of these kids for the hard work they put in.
In between speakers for other events of the night, my duties done, I lean over to Bish.
“All anyone wants to talk about is the new coach coming on board for the football team. You know anything about that, so I can sound like I have a clue?”
Bish leans in, keeping our voices low. “Apparently the son of one of Rollins famed former coaches. He’s supposed to rebuild the team to its glory days.”
“No pressure,” I mutter, feeling bad for this coach who isn’t even here.
Bish shrugs. “Apparently he just took the job like 24 hours ago, and everyone is excited. He’s young and energetic with a great track record and a family connection. People expect great things.” He shrugs again. “I wouldn’t mind some Eagles football worth following.”
“We have a box in the end zone,” I tell Bish and his eyes light up. Of course, he loves football. Now that I think about it, I have seen him watch the games on-screen at Black Diamond with more than a passing interest.
“Really? The family does?”
“It’s in the Foundation’s name, I think. We used to go quite a bit, but then the Eagles weren’t worth watching. Jack uses it to wine and dine donors, but not every game.”
“I’ll ask Quinn about it.”
We make it through the speeches and more awards, and I have to say it’s a nice evening. The excitement of a new era of the football program has apparently lifted everyone’s spirits. About time.
I smile for a million more pictures and try not to think about Cas. This was supposed to be a distraction.
At the end of the night, I end up taking Bish up on his offer to use their spare room again, instead of going home.
What I don’t do much of is sleep. That night or any other.
The more I think about it, though, this is good for me. For one, by being in the same room as Cas again I can then experience the whole broken stove-top burner situation with him and quit thinking he was somehow an outlier. I burned through men like socks for a very brief time after Cas left. But, then in the years since, the handful of attempts at something more I made all ended up the same way as at the club. Cas is no different than the guy at the club; he’s just a relic of a time when I was different.
Before I was broken.
Just because I was in love with him doesn’t mean I can’t love someone else; I just haven’t found that other person, yet. And when I walk into that room, I will react to Cas just like I react to everyone I’m attracted to: spark, snap-snap, click-click, fizzle. The gas will turn on, but nothing will light in my broken burner of a heart.
Not only is this a professional opportunity, or could be, it can also sever whatever connection my mind believes it has with him. Not with him, of course, not with this new Cas I don’t know. But the connection my brain and heart forged with the old Cas. The Cas that doesn’t exist anymore.
This project can be our swan-song.
And then I move on.
Win-win.
Chapter 7 - Baylor
Love of My Life – Queen
Timeebbsandflows,trudges forwards and then stills in a twisted, running sequence that leads to the meeting and that makes my brain fog. I go through it all like it is normal, and that I don’t see the sideways glances my brothers send to me or the looks they share.
And then it’s the morning of our meeting in Jack’s office.
I can see Jack leading someone into the conference room, and then, there he is — Caswell Vaughn.
I swear time lurches; comes to a halt.
Blond hair, a little longer, a little darker. Blue eyes just as vibrant.
