Caleb and Nix nod. It’s something we have always said, always tried to cultivate. That we are there for each other. No matter what. No matter the fame. The good, the bad. It doesn’t matter. These two humans have my back.
Caleb came to work for me so he and Nix could stay together. His original security firm was great, but couldn’t tolerate his breach of ethics in getting involved with Nix. I had looked them both in the eyes and swore that if I had a job, they had a job. And that’s just the way it’s always been with us.
“You could go ask Baylor in person.” Nix says it gently, and I realize my own thoughts are already there.
I set my guitar to the side.
“What do you mean? Just go to Bear Valley?”
Caleb looks at Nix, then me. “It’s not a bad idea, Cas. I don’t think you are going to be comfortable back at your house after last night. Plus, you seemed to like Bear Valley. I got the sense you wanted to be there longer than a few hours to catch a show.”
I shiver. Yeah, he’s got a point. At least about my house. It feels too creepy to be a place to unwind and after this tour I need to unwind. I’m not sure I can do that in my house. All the privacy I give up, I understand. It’s what I signed up for when I came to LA. But, my house. . .that award. . .it makes me feel unmoored more than life on the road does.
“So,” Nix says, “maybe go to Baylor and feel him out. Spend some time with his family that you always talk about. Follow the doctor’s orders about taking some time off. You can rent a house in Bear Valley just as easily as you do in LA.”
Fuck, that’s tempting. To go live a Bear Valley life instead of a Los Angeles one for a week or so.
Seal the deal on this writing gig for the biopic.
Seal the deal on Baylor extending our contract.
Somehow, the memories of ski slopes and a big rambling Victorian house from my college days seems better than the thought of going to the house the police just cleared.
Down deep, something tugs at me to not overthink it and just go. I do need to do this in person, and Bear Valley. . .I close my eyes for a moment.
Bear Valley is one of my favorite places on earth. I could rest there better than in my own home.
“Let’s take a few weeks here, you guys have only been home one night.” Nix starts to protest my logic, but I stop her. “It will take time to arrange. I need to talk to Jack. I can’t just show up this time. And I need to sleep. I need to just stop for a moment before another move.”
Time to arrangeis my way of saying I need to know if I will be welcome. Time to arrange the thoughts in the back of my head.
Going to see Baylor on stage was one thing — quick trips where I didn’t have to see him with some guy who would be the muse for his next song.
The reality that Baylor is out loving and being loved is not one I can think about for too long.
I miss Baylor. Fiercely. Maybe a trip to Bear Valley is exactly what I need. There is a masochistic part of me that wants to size up who is in Baylor’s life. He’s moving on, and I have to face that.
Maybe it’s time to meet whomever it is that has Baylor writing love songs.
Chapter 6 – Baylor
I hate you, I love you – Gnash
“Whataboutthelockissue on the East Gate at the ranch?” My head of landscaping, Gina asks as she stares me down from across my desk.
My office isn’t large, three walls of windows that look out to the pedestrian walk-ways that lead to the ski lifts, and right off one of the main parking lots. I’m not on the main thoroughfare of foot traffic—that real estate is too prime for my office. Normally, I like the space and the location. Right now, though, I feel cramped in the small space as I put out one fire while at least six others still burn bright, waiting their turn.
“We don’t have time to worry about that. Mason can figure out why they keep breaking. Leave it to the ranch staff. If it’s still an issue after Spring Break we will deal with it then.”
I swear to god, someone has cursed me with a million inconveniences the past few weeks.
“I still think security should go out there and have a look,” Gina says.
“At what? A gate into a pasture? The security of a bison herd?”
“You live there. And Matt and Theo do, too. That gate restricts access from the East, which is rarely used. Is this not a security issue?”
I sigh. Matt and Theo have gotten popular with their social media presence and in everything else to deal with my brain hadn’t made a connection that some of the things happening at the ranch — down fences and busted locks, could be someone trying to get pictures or information on them due to their popularity. The thing is, I see myself from time to time inVIPor other places online, but none of those are pictures taken at my home. That’s all me out in Bear Valley or at some event. Same is true for Matt and Theo, they might film from their kitchen sometimes, but it’s all very intentional, not someone outside the family taking pictures out at the ranch. Bishop as a former FBI agent would be the person to ask about all this, so I make a mental note to do that.
