“Baylor likes to keep to himself, mostly. I think some of that is the whole writer/artist temperament thing. He has a gym and a recording studio in his home and probably spends too much time alone in both.”
“He’s always so nice when he comes into the bar, even with people flirting left and right.”
“Nicely letting each of them down easy.” Matt laughs, tilting his head back as the snow starts to fall in earnest. “We’ve been out in the cold all morning. Are you sure you are okay?”
“It was fun. I love being outdoors like this. But I’ll be glad to warm up, too.”
“You remember that video I did with Piper? The one with the mushrooms?”
“Of course.”
“Well, I’ve been doing those kinds of things for a while, and I got an offer to do a food festival in Texas. Just join in a competition sort of thing, and now they want me to judge the kids chef competition.”
I smile. “That’s amazing, Matt. That could turn into a million things.”
He shrugs. “Maybe. The kid’s competition is sponsored by a food network, so it’s good exposure. But it does mean I will be gone for a few days.”
I lean up and press a soft kiss on his lips. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’m all yours until we have to go back to work tomorrow. But then I have to fly out at the end of the week.” He presses against me for a deeper kiss. “Your lips are freezing, sweetness. Do you know what every Mann brother is required to have at his house?”
“Quinn’s beer?”
Matt laughs. “Yes, for sure. But also a hot tub. Want to join me in mine?”
We pause in the foyer, and he strips out of his cold gear quickly, then moves to help me. “Those clothes can just keep coming off, sugar. No one here but us, unless you care about the deer seeing you.”
Even with the heated floors and heated air of the cabin, it’s cold, but I follow him straight to the back. Matt scoops me up so my feet don’t have to cross the snow-covered back porch and sets me in the warm water. He’s as naked as I am, but gives me a quick kiss and a stern “don’t go anywhere.” By the time I take in the beauty of the landscape, with the sounds of the stream and the quiet of the snow, Matt is back. Wearing nothing but a smile—and ridiculous lime-green flip-flops—he sets water bottles and two drinks down on the metal table to the side of the hot tub, then slides in next to me.
“Towels are in the cabinet below the drinks when you need one.” He opens a water bottle and hands it to me. “Hydrate.” I laugh, and he pulls me on to his lap. “I gotta tell you something, sweetheart.” Matt runs a hand on my cheek, warming my face with his hands. “This wholethis is only sexthing. It’s not going to work.”
“Oh.” Automatically, I scoot back from him.
His arm wraps around me, keeping me anchored to the spot. “You taste like powdered donuts, Theo. Powdered fucking donuts. Everywhere. Addictive is what it is. And I need more than just sex with you. We could be a lot more. If you let us.”
If I let us. Matt is making it my choice. That blows me over.
His thumbs run by my lips. “What I’m trying to say, sweetheart, is that I want a chance.”
I swallow hard. I know I’m falling for Matt. It started long before the first kiss, all the way back when he would crowd my space and send butterflies in full flight through my stomach. And now, he touches me, acts like my pleasure—that he commands and owns completely— is a gift I bestow on him. Most guys have acted like I need to earn my pleasure from them. As if the top’s pleasure matters most, and I should get off on him being there.
Matt doesn’t play those kinds of games. Who he is in bed is just who he is. Generous. Abundant. Caring.
“That’s what you want?”
Matt tucks hair back behind my ear. “Yeah, Theo. And a big part of me wants to let you wreck me and not worry about the consequences . . .but I have seen the half-life someone is left with, the aftermath of getting burned that badly, and I don’t want to go there if I don’t have to.”
“That’s fair. I don’t want to hurt you.” My mind races, thinking about so many things at once, things I will have to share if this is more than sex. I don’t have a home, and he has two. Deny is coming, and I don’t know what that will look like for me going forward. I am keeping this big secret from him I will have to confess.
Then I think about the things we have already shared with one another. It’s been more than sex from the beginning.
What a liar I have been with myself about Matt. Trying to use words and definitions to protect my heart.
“I know you had your reasons, that this is all you felt you could offer me or whatever,” his blue eyes are serious, “but maybe we can talk about that when I get back. And you have time to think without me all over you.” His hand runs down my leg, pausing at my thigh to pull me closer. “Whatever the answer is, yes to more or no, you don’t have to tell me today. And I want this, these days with you, no matter what. I just want you to consider it.”
At his touch, my eyes roll back. I never knew I was such a needy guy until Matt and his gentle manhandling in bed.
That’s the thing. He’s not alone. I’m falling too. Matt Mann may be a freefall, but the ground will never rush up to meet me. If I let myself, I could float forever.
