Holden had come up close to Perrin, who was sitting, and tilted his head up. I knew Perrin was in the submissive position purposefully, but damn if it didn’t make me crazy to watch it. Suddenly, I had felt Bishop’s strong hand on my shoulder, and I could breathe a little better. For a guy who could come across as a strictly efficient law enforcer, Bishop Frost was pretty tuned into the emotions around him.
“You want to talk about it, Perrin?” Holden had asked him, and I knew what he wanted, and apparently Perrin did too. “About the time you messed up?”
“Can’t,” Perrin said, his head down. “It was a long time ago, anyway.” He didn’t agree to anything being his fault, but he sure made it sound like he was in the wrong.
Bishop had warned Perrin that if Davis ever faced prosecution, the FBI would have to turn over everything from this operation. If Perrin lied and said he had something to do with the death of Sydney Connors, that would give Davis’s attorneys something to argue later, an angle to paint Perrin as the dangerous one.
“Not that long,” Holden had countered. “But, I can’t let you keep hurting people. I’ll have to tell someone, Bannon, I guess.”
“No, please,” Perrin said, and I had forgotten to breathe when I saw the look on Holden’s face at the mere suggestion of Perrin begging him for something. Even from here, the look was one of pure, evil joy. If I could have seen it clearly, I knew I would have lost my shit.
Bishop now had two hands on my shoulders, anticipating what this part would be like for me to watch it, I guess. “It’s okay, Jack,” he reminded me, so I nodded, turning my head back to the screen so he didn’t have to pause the footage.
Holden was kneeling down, even with Perrin. “If something happens, though, are you going to do the right thing this time, Perrin? You don’t want to hurt me, do you?”
“Of course not,” Perrin had said instantly, so fast it made bile rise to the back of my throat with its sincerity.
Then came the part I hated most about Holden’s interactions with Perrin. Holden would always end the encounter by telling Perrin how sexy he was, how Perrin knew what he was doing was turning Holden on, but that he had to resist him because they were colleagues. It was gas lighting with a twist. Holden said untrue things, but made them real by connecting it to how he supposedly felt, and then made himself the savior by rescuing Perrin from the very thing Holden himself had created. It was insanity to watch. And Holden was very good at it. It was now well past two months of this, every day, on top of the history they had together.
I had to look down and take some breaths when Bishop finally turned it off, having gotten me up to speed with what had happened the night before. Because that had happened yesterday, today everyone was on high alert. I could tell Bishop was worried Holden just wanted Perrin in the OR so he could pin another patient’sdeath on him. Whatever Holden’s plan was, that part seemed to be key to it.
Holden seemed to be getting what he wanted from Perrin, so Bishop told Bannon to put them together on the schedule. It wasn’t actually going to happen, Bishop andBannon both had assured me without a doubt that Perrin would not have to perform any surgery with Holden, and that Perrin had made that a condition of his involvement, as well.
Bishop had told me to stick around today, just in case. Bishop had made it clear that the first moment he had to pull Perrin out, he would do it.Minnbelieved that setting up Holden to believe he was finally going to partner back with Perrin, then to take that away, was going to be explosive. I had nodded when he said it, and refused to evenhold out hopethat I could be touching Perrin again anytime soon.
Minn didn’t know how right his prediction would be.
I made sure to stick close to Bishop when it was time for the surgery Bannon scheduled for Holden and Perrin to perform together. From the various monitors that now ran the length of the conference room, one was on the door to the OR, and sure enough, when surgery time dawned, Perrin was in the locker room and Holden in the OR. Perrin was even changing into scrubs fora differentsurgery. The look of fury on Holden’s face was obvious as he stormed out of theOR when he saw another CRNA with the patient, and Bishop instantly had Levi on the radio, telling him to be ready. Levi’s team would be responsibleforarresting Holden, when the time came or to remove Perrin, depending on how it all played out. Something was going to happen, but no one knew what.
Bishop just looked at me after we saw Holden’s fury when he left the OR. “Angry men make mistakes,” was all he said.
The locker room was pulled up on the largest screen, and right before Holden strode through the door, Bishop popped the lights like a power surge, just a flicker, andPerrin looked up as if acknowledging some kind of sign. Perrin was only in his scrub pants, but moved to put on his shirt.
That’s why he didn’t see the uppercut until it knocked him back on his ass.
“Jack!” Bishop commanded, ready for my reaction, and strong arms were there to hold me where I stood, as I surged out of my chair.
Perrin
I was stunned by the blow, and scrambled to my feet as quickly as I could, meeting Holden’s wild gaze. It was all I could do not to retaliate, but the lights had reminded me, bless Bishop Frost, that this might be my chance to get what I needed from him. To get back to Jack.
“Why are you doing this, Perrin?”Holdenasked, the anger radiating off of him, fists still clenched. “Why won't you let us be together?” Holden pleaded.
“It’s not me, it’s Bannon. He changed the goddamned schedule,” I spit out, blood running down from my busted lip. I threw out the words desperately. I was going to give this all I had. If this wasn’t my chance, then it could set up the one that would be. Holden wasn’t going to go after Bannon.
Holden came near me then, backing me up to the old and unused radiator against the wall. He touched my face where he had just hit me with the touch of a lover, but it was much harder in pressure, and I winced at the pain and swallowed my revulsion. I knew he was pressing where it would hurt the most, I saw it in his eyes that he knew it too.
When I made no move to stop him, the pressure increased, and I saw Holden’s nostrils flare, and his eyes light up like I had never seen.
“He’s jealous, isn’t he, Perrin?” His eyes looked manic, and I could tell by his pupils he was on something, pills maybe, from the look of them.
“Jealous of you,” I said, nodding in his hand, even if it made my lip hurt more, bleed more.
“No, kitten,” Holden said, his eyes snapping to mine. “You let him have a taste, didn’t you?” Holden said, his lips brushing near mine, and I was glad for the busted lip if it kept him from a kiss.
The almost-kiss was deceiving, because I didn’t see the fists that flew at myhead.All I could do was take it, defending but not advancing, and I just thought of Jack. This pain could get me Jack.
Maybe.
