“Perrin,” I groaned against him as he grabbed my ass and pulled himself against me. “I’ve got four hours, sweetheart, what do you want, baby? I’ll give you anything,” I whispered, as his hands smoothed over and re-cupped my ass, bringing us tighter. “I’ll do anything you want me to do.”
Perrin rolled on top of me, pinning me beneath him. “I want you like this,” he whispered into my neck. “All I can think about, Jack.” He brokenly confessed against my chest. There was guilt in it too. “I can’t just let you go.”
“Don’t then,” I whispered, wrapping my legs around him, and arching my back reaching to where I knew he kept the lube.
Finally, his eyes met mine, and my breath caught. His brown eyes were deep and dark, and lost and desperate. He looked like he was drowning in himself, face gaunt with the loss of weight I hadn’t noticed as profoundly under his snow gear on the mountain. I have never seen Perrin so lost, nor so vulnerable. Maybe a sense of it here or there, but not like this. Never this far down to the bone, so intense.
“Need you inside me, Perrin,” I said. I needed him as close to me as possible and I wanted him to be in control; I wanted togivehim control of something. His voice hissed at my words, and I was already lubing his cock, then moving to prepare myself when he didn’t.
“This is real,” he said, quietly, but it wasn’t a question.
“Yes, baby, it’s real,” I assured him, reaching up with two fingers, which he took into his mouth immediately, causing me to shiver under him.
His eyes went dark, holding mine, and moving back to watch me prepare myself for him with the fingers he slicked up in his own mouth. I wondered how much longer until this was something we got to create every night again. But this was now, and now was more important than anything else.
Thank god prepping my fingers that way, and watching me got him, and watching Perrin watch me was making me ready in record time. His eyes locked on mine when I told him I was ready, that I needed him.
“I don’t want to hurt . . .” he began, but I was already pulling his hips closer, and madehim lineup if he wouldn’t himself. But his eyes stayed anchored on mine.
“Get inside me, Perrin, I can’t wait,” I begged. His eyes got golden and wide as he began to enter me, and I had to struggle not to let mine roll back at the sensation of him finally being this connected again. He slid home with a moan, bottoming out.
Anything other than intensity and want had left the room with our breath.
It was intense to feel him so close, with no barriers between us. But it was his eyes locking on me that took this up a level. I had seen him just like this with his head back, but not eyes locked on mine, sharing everything he felt. He whimpered and moaned, but kept his eyes on mine, as he came in and out of me, his hand coming up brush over my piercing, my cock jumping between us, as I felt my temperature come up several degrees.
My eyes went wide and I had to concentrate to keep them on his as he ran along my prostate, I wanted to roll them back in my head and give into the sensations, but I didn’t let myself, because he was gazing intensely into my eyes like they were a life-line, pleading with me in some way. I moaned under that gaze, and he said nothing, but hit my prostate directly, then kept on, not taking his gaze off my eyes. I moaned again, not against his skin or my hand, or anywhere, but just out there filling the air between us.
This was some strange combination of lovemaking and desperate want.
“Don’t leave me, Jack,” Perrin whispered, as I felt my eyes wanting to roll back again. He was making me tremble with need for him to never stop what he was doing.
“I won’t,” I ground out, panting. I wasn’t sure if he meant not to leave his gaze or something bigger. It didn’t matter, though. My answer would have been the same. His eyes started to look lost, but when I assured him, I swear those damn eyes smiled at me.
“Look at me, baby,” I said, although his eyes weren’t gone from mine. I was just afraid he would break the connection. “Stay with me. I can’t last like this, P, what you are doing to me,” I panted straight into the gold-brown storm.
Perrin
If I couldn’t hold Jack’s eyes I was going to be lost. I wasn’t tethered to the ground anymore. People call it drowning, but I was flying, and the only thing was the emerald sea of Jack’s eyes on mine, and it was all that was keeping me in this world.
“This isn’t . . .” I had to pause and catch a breath, “not goodbye?”
It was the only reason I could guess why he was here. He was telling me he couldn’t do it. Or didn’t want me, or . . .
That line of thought was cut off with his lips pressed to mine.
“Not goodbye. Just right now, P. Just your lips on mine.”
I surged into him with the words, catching another kiss like a starving man. And I was starving for Jack.
Jack was hot, and tight, and smelled so good it brought me to my knees. I couldn’t think of how I shouldn’t be doing this, how much it could end with Jack being hurt. When I was buried in Jack, I just wanted to crawl in him, to be one person. But, god, his fucking body made me shaky with need on the best day.
Today, I could barely contain myself. I needed to see that desperation in his eyes, I needed to see him come because I made him do it. I needed to take him there, and I could feel him shaking beneath me. I needed to be able to control one damned thing in my life and I needed it to be Jack’s pleasure.
I started to move my hand to take his cock and watch him go over the edge, but he kept his hands around my wrists. He panted my name while his feet dug into the sheets, and there was a wildness in his eyes. They got bigger and filled completely before I felt him let go, sticky warmth against my chest. I grunted at the idea he had fucked himself so well on me that he didn’t need me to touch him to send him over the edge.
I stroked my hips up twice more, breathing his name like a prayer, desperate as the fire spreading from my lower back climbed up to my neck. The building orgasm wanted to rip me back into the sky, send me spinning, but there was Jack, and his eyes were all I could see. So, I let being inside of him, feeling his tight body clench against my dick rip me apart, and I trusted his eyes to keep me right there.
I finally tore my eyes away when I came against his aftershocks, so that I could sipfrom his lips, and I realized that our hands were still together. Jack looked a bit overwhelmed and his kiss was so tender I thought whatever pieces of heart I would have left would break apart.
