“Jesus fuck,” I rolled my hips into him at his words.
It took no time to have his knees on the cushions, and front pressed into the back rest. I found lube where we stashed it under my couch, and was kissing his back and neck, as I started to stroke him gently. But, then I moved my knees to the floor so his tight ass was over me, and I probed and licked in heavy, needy strokes, rimming him to the point he was shaking. I licked him all the way inside, drawing out the most sensual moan I had ever elicited from him.
I started to lube a finger, and began to circle him, telling him how beautiful he was, how I loved his body, and trying like hell to slow things down. He moved back against my finger.
“No prep. Don’t be gentle, dammit, Perrin,” he growled, knocking my hands away, his face turned to the side and resting on the back of the couch, his hand cupping my face. “I need to still fuckingfeelyou when you are gone.”
Fuck, that voice, those eyes, making that demand of me. Iscissoredhim, until he hissed, nodding that he was ready before I had even really touched him, and then I came over his back, lining up my cock to his hole.
“I want to be in you so far, Jack,” I said to his neck, as I filled in him in one swift stroke that left us both moaning. “I want you to think of me, so far inside you, stretching you, filling you. I’mgonnaleave a mark in you, Jack. So far in no one knows it’s there but you.”
I started moving then, relishing the smell, the feel, the power of the man beneath me. I put my hands everywhere, memorizing his skin, his feel.
There was no chance I was capable of anything other than loving Jack Mann for the rest of my life.
“Mark me then,” he gasped, as I bottomed out again, deep and hard, hitching my hips. This was differentfromwhat usually happened between us on a Sunday.
That was rough and playful, where this was desperate and claiming. I reached up and ran my fingers over the barbell in his nipple, loving the tremors it sent through him. “I’m yours P,” he said, groaning around the words with desire.
“You are so fucking beautiful like this,” I told him. “So perfectly mine.” I moved my hips to angle into where I knew, perfectly well, I could send him over the edge.
“God, Perrin,yes,”he responded to my short thrusts. “Are you - mine?” he asked, his voice carrying the wonder at how I was making him feel, as he was bucking into my hand with his throbbing cock, slick enough for me to jack him with his ownprecome.
“Yours, Jack,” I whispered, “yours.” I repeated as the moans and shuddering orgasms caught us both.
I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do. It was worse than Boston, because leaving then wasn’t leaving Jack. But it was similar. No Everett, no UncleAdi. Just me, trying to protect myself and those I loved from my own stupidity. All because the only person I had ever actually remembered being afraid of had made me once believe I loved him. And now he wanted to settle the score for something I didn’t even do.
Jack left last night, and somehow I found the strength to push back the part of my brain that tried to reason that Holden likely wasn’t even in Bear Valley yet. The part that wanted to let Jack stay. Holden was actually moving into a house Mann Properties had listed and was due to arrive anytime. Jack had found out that information before I told him he couldn’t have anything to do with Holden, or do any searching or leaning on anyone. I wasn’t taking any chances where Jack was concerned. I wasn’t worried about the house piece, it would virtually be impossible for Holden to find a property in town that wasn’t connected to the Mann’s.
Without Jack, and not knowing what Holden wanted or how long we would be apart, I couldn’t sleep. So, the next day, I was sure I already looked like hell by the time I arrivedatthe hospital at least an hour earlier than my shift.
I went straight to Bannon’s office, resignation letter clutched in my hand. The only plan I could find that made any sense at all had to begin with that letter. If Holden was coming here, there was no way he wouldn’t follow me somewhere else, but at least that place wouldn’t be putting Jack in danger. Holden knew how to get someone where it hurt the most, and he would know hurting Jack would inflict catastrophic levels of damage on me.
Of course, that meant Jack-less years, not months, and the very thought of that shattered me as Itriedto plan a long-game that could at least end with Jack somewhere down the line. As if I would have any right to ask him to wait.
I had to figure out what Holden wanted to feel we were, even now, how to give it to him, and then how to walk away with my integrity and Jack. It seemed impossible. Itwasimpossible.
Before I even hit the elevator, Debbie - a nurse, snagged my elbow, and told me the Chief wanted me in his office. I let out a sigh, at least he would be there, although I wondered what he wanted.
When I made my way to his office, the letter was a dead weight in my hand. I wanted Bear Valley, my job, and Jack. I wanted it so ferociously it stunned me. I was about to give all of that away, and be exactly where I was five years ago.
Bile rose in my throat, and I had to force my legs to move, and my hand to knock at his door. Holden was going to take this away from me, too, like he had taken my confidence, my clarity, but I couldn’t find a way around it. Keeping Jack safe was the priority, but it still hurt to realize how much I now had to lose - how much I hadgainedin such a short time.
Bannon looked up from his desk when I walked in, and he paused to take in my appearance, and the envelope in my hand before he got up without speaking. He closed the door behind me, and led me over to his sitting area.
“Thank you for meeting me, Perrin,” he said, his eyes holding a kindness, and maybe sympathy. He looked like someone about to deliver bad news.
“Of course,” I said, confused by his tone, or why he even wanted to see me.
His gaze flicked back down to the letter, and then back to my sunken and dark eyes.
“Son, I’m going to forget I see you coming in here with that,” he said, gesturing to the letter in my hand with obvious distaste. “And you are going to forget the conversation we are about to have.”
I was stunned. How could Bannon know what was in my letter? My face must have shown utter confusion as I slumped into a chair, my exhausted brain having difficulty making sense of anything.
“I want to talk about Holden Davis,” he said.
Jack
