I had been lost in my thoughts, but our foreheads were still pressed together and I could feel Jack’s breathingreturn tonormal, as if he had just come down from his own thoughts, as well.
“Don’t cry for me, P,” he whispered against my neck, his hands sliding up to my face, feeling thewettracksstill there.
“Sorry, Jack,” I whispered back. I couldn’t tell him then how much I understood parts of his story. It simply wasn’t time. So, I just held him.
“Do you want me to go?” he asked, his body so tense it had to physically hurt him to bind his muscles so tight.
“What? No, Jesus, Jack, I don’t ever want you to go,” I said. Suddenly, his lips were on mine.The kiss waslong and sweet, seeking comfort, and the reassurance of my words. When he pulled back, I let myself get pulled into that blue-green light of his eyes.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I assured him.
Jack
I was early to the next Mann Family dinner, having reluctantly detangled myself from Perrin and his bed to meet up with Quinn beforehand. Since revealing the things I had to him, Perrin and I had takentolong, softer, slower sex more often than not, but this afternoon, after a very rare spring day run that started early with Baylor, Matt, Perrin and me on the hardest part of the mountain, I had wanted him the way I always did after skiing like that. I had told him,buthe had paused.
“You know I can’t resist you like that, Jack,” he had said, breathing the words into my mouth between kisses, after I had nipped his ear, and ran my hands over him, begging him to fuck me. “Don’t ask that of me unless you are sure,” he had said.
“I’m sure. Stop resisting,” I had suggested, hoping that somehow he would still be okay with sex like this between us, despite now knowing about my past. It was just too damned good to let go. “How many times have I given myself up to you like this, P?” I had reminded him, kissing and nipping him where I knew he liked it. He had pulled back, those gold rimmed eyes nailing me for a moment, checking to make sure before he flipped that switch that neither of us would be able to undo.
“Do you know how many more times I want you to?” he had asked softly, and that was blessedly the last soft thing that had occurred in his condo for the rest of the afternoon.
So, when I headed to Quinn’s, I knew I couldn’t keep the look off my face,because I was still riding on a cloud of bliss. I never imagined I would be able toask someonewhat I asked of Perrin, to trust someone that much when they knew about my whole past. I certainly never contemplated that someone would accept it and who I really was.
Not that I could avoid going to Quinn’s early. We had some things we needed to go over after the last vote from the zoning board. It wasn’t anything big, but there was a meeting in the morning with investors that would be important to some of the Mann Resort and Mann Property extensions of the business. I hadn’t seen Quinn since the last Sunday dinner, he had been out of town on business for his microbrewery, and despite how interlaced we all were with the Mann business holdings and Bear Valley, we all tried to keep business talk out of Mann Sunday dinner, except in the lightest of ways.
Quinn came around his drafting table with a shit-eating grin when I entered his small architecture firm next to Black Diamond.
“Look at you, big brother,” he teased. We embraced, and I felt my cheeks run hot.
“Jealous?” I shot back, despite my pink face.
“Hell yes, I'm jealous, we are all jealous,” Quinn said, moving into the conference room where my other siblings waited.
“What are we jealous about?” Matt asked, looking up from his phone.
Matt was such a go-with-the-flow guy, unless you fucked up in his kitchen, but otherwise, he was definitely the most laid back. Quinn was rarely serious, but his constant high-energy kept him from being exactly what anyone would call laid-back. Baylor was quiet and sometimes brooding.Then me, the careful one.
“That Mr. One-night-stand is now Mr. wrapped around a gorgeous finger,” CJguessed. She had her hands full with Piper, but I knew she dreamed of a husband - she had told us as much. That line of thought stopped me cold - that I was equating Perrin with CJ’s dream of a husband and family.
I needed to back the fuck up a minute. Just because I had shared something intimate with Perrin didn’t mean I was going down that road, did it?
Baylor looked me over, and grunted, concern on his features where everyone else had held humor. He waited until we were all seated at the table and the teasing had died down from the rest of my siblings before he said anything.
“I thought you were going to talk to him, Jack,” he said quietly.
“I did,” I told him, with his and everyone’s heads snapping up at that. Matt and Baylor shared a long look, but smiled. CJ and Quinn had smiles to their ears.
“No shit?” Matt asked.
“As if I had a choice,” I retorted. I could tell they were all a bit surprised at how calmly I was talking about this. But, we didn’t keep secrets, and I would tell them all anyway.
“And it’s all - good? With you two?” Matt asked.
Quinn snorted and I even saw Baylor’s mouth twist up slightly. “Just look at him, Matt. I would say he's great. Definitely more relaxed than the rest of us,” Quinn observed. They all laughed at that, with Quinn mentioning how he should take up monogamy if that’s what it was like.
Baylor, more relaxed, but still concerned, looked at me so long I had to give him my attention. He just raised his eyebrows at me and gave me a long stare. The rest of my siblings quieted, reacting to the two oldest getting serious.
“I, uh, I may be in trouble with this guy, though,” I said softly. “P’s different. I mean . . . things aredifferent withhim.” Baylor gave me a sideway smile and the others looked at me for a moment before smiling.
