“I have you two, but I don’t have friends unless you count Gregory. And I clearly don’t have a good dating track record here. The city is just not the place for me. I love Stoneport. It’s slow and familiar and cozy. I’m not exactly built for the hustle and bustle,” she said, managing a self-deprecating grin. “And I’d love to be where you two are, but it’s not a good enough reason for me to stay.”
There. She’d said it. She could see, in real time, as the disappointment washed over both of her parents’ faces. It took her back to all those years ago, when their grief was like its own member of their family, overshadowing everything.
Still, she knew that they’d try to be brave about it. That was exactly what happened when her dad said, “Well, we love you, honey. And we’ll support you.”
Brynn felt the tell-tale twinge of guilt cut through her, and she tried to breathe through it. She wasn’t doing anything wrong. There was nothing wrong with living her life for herself when so many people didn’t even get the chance. The realization hit her swiftly. “Why don’t we ever talk about Bridget?”
She could have heard a pin drop as the entire mood of the room shifted.
Her dad cleared his throat. “We talk about her.”
Brynn shook her head. “You can say her name, Dad. And no, we don’t talk about her. I wish we did, though. I wish that it felt like it was okay for me to tell you both how much I miss her and how much I know that you do, too.”
Her mom started wringing her hands, an action that was only allayed when her dad grabbed onto one and scooted closer tohis wife on the sofa. “It’s a hard thing,” he admitted, his voice cracking as he did so.
“Is that how you feel?” her mom asked, tears already in her eyes. “You never told us.”
In her family, the rule was that you could talk about anything as long as you never talked about the one thing. It created the illusion that they were happy, well-adjusted. But a piece had been carved out, excised through grief, and, for Brynn, at least, it had upended everything.
And now, she could feel the prickle of tears behind her own eyes. She hadn’t intended to share her feelings about Bridget out loud, but now they were out, and just like last night, she didn’t want to take them back. Good things happened when she was brave; she needed to remember that. “I can still remember how upset you both were after she was gone. For so long. And you didn’t talk about her.” Her voice faltered, but she pushed on. “But she’s still here. She’s always here. Whether you voice your grief or not.”
“Honey, come here.” Her dad gestured to her from the sofa, where he was making space again between him and her mom.
Brynn sat down, tears streaming down her face, too. “I was just always so afraid that you’d get sad again, so I’ve always tried to do everything I can to make sure that I’m never the cause of it. But I want to be able to talk about Bridget. And I want to be able to tell you anything and everything about my life without feeling guilty that it will disappoint you.” Brynn took a steadying breath, unable to get the words out fast enough to keep up with her racing brain. “And I know that one’s on me as much as either of you.”
Brynn looked at her mom and then her dad, everyone’s eyes now wet with tears. She hiccuped, but that wasn’t going to slow her down. She was committed to seeing this through. “ I promise you, I’m not this breakable thing. Even when I mess up or makemistakes, I’m going to be okay. I met someone,” she said, smiling in spite of all the intense emotions swirling through her, “and she’s so wonderful. I think that you’d both really like her. She’s Sydney’s best friend and works with Reese. Well, she works with me, too, technically, and she’s justsoincredible. I think you’ll really love her when you meet her.”
She didn’t stop talking until she ran out of air. She had sucked in another gulp to keep going when?—
“You’re dating again?” her dad asked. He seemed, shockingly, elated by the idea.
Tilting her head to the side, she said, “Yes. I’ve been dating for the past couple months.”
“Oh, thank god.”
This caused Brynn to spin her head around, leveling her mom with a confused look. “What?”
“Well, honey… you blew up your rehearsal dinner in a very public way. Then you ran off to Louisiana and breezed back into town, only to run off again. We were worried about you. And contrary to popular belief, apparently, we know that you’re not breakable. But we won’t pretend that we weren’t concerned for you. It was a lot to go through. A lot to find out.”
“So you’re fine with me moving to Stoneport?” This conversation had more twists and turns than even Brynn’s brain could handle. She was trying to keep up, but it was hard. The sensation that was woven throughout, though, was that this was all good. And she’d have never been brave enough to do it if she hadn’t gone to Stoneport. If she hadn’t met Hallie.
Her dad spoke then. “All we want is for you to be happy, even if parts of your happiness mean that we’re sad because we miss you. And we know that’s what you want for us, too. But we couldn’t heal your heart for you, no matter how much we wanted to. You’re right, though…” She felt his hand encircle her own.“We should talk about Bridget. It’s not fair to you to expect you to handle your feelings in the same way that we managed ours.”
Part of Brynn wanted to feel embarrassed that she’d assumed that, for so long, her parents would be anything but gracious and supportive when she decided to be honest with them, but the bigger part of her was just so grateful to even have parents like them in the first place.
She never wanted to lose sight of how lucky she was in that respect.
She wiped away a rogue tear and hiccuped again. “I love you both. And I’m not going to be very far away. I think this is a good next step for all of us.”
“We can easily get up to Stoneport at least once or twice a—” Brynn leveled her dad with a stare, at which point he amended to: “We’ll figure it out, honey.”
“But we do want to meet whoever you’re dating,” her mom piped in. “If that’s something that you’re open to having happen.”
The truth was, Brynn couldn’t wait to bring Hallie into her overbearing, emotionally intense family. There was a very good chance that it would be great for both of them.
Hallie bounded up to the host station, hand in hand with Brynn. “My girlfriend and I have a reservation under Thatcher for seven o’clock.”
They’d made it to the restaurant with five minutes to spare, though it could have been more if they hadn’t gotten a little… distracted before they’d left. But if toe-curling makeouts against the door were why people were late in this world, Brynn was finally starting to find the ability to give them a little bit of grace.
