Brynn flushed, embarrassment rushing through her. “I know that I?—”
But Hallie cut her off. “No, I love it. Really. It’s so refreshing that you have all these wild interests or curiosities that you go so deep into learning about. It’s really cool. Genuinely,” Hallie stressed, all of her attention still trained on Brynn. “And anyone who makes you feel badly about it wouldn’t deserve someone as great as you anyway.”
A pleased warmth settled through her then as she basked in what was maybe the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. Somehow, Hallie managed to cut right to the core of who Brynnwas and hold those traits up like they were to be prized instead of tolerated.
And the craziest thing was that Brynn believed her. The way Hallie’s voice was steeped in sincerity. Brynn didn’t trust her gut on many things, especially not after the last few months, but she just had this overwhelming feeling, like she could trust Hallie and that her trust wouldn’t be misplaced.
She was still basking in the feeling when Hallie asked, “Where did you think you’d be?”
That was a question that opened a can of worms. Brynn had been doing a really great job not thinking about this very subject, but New Year’s Eve had a way of making people contemplate their life choices. She didn’t fault Hallie for being the one to voice it out loud.
But, if she was going to answer the question, she was going to take it seriously. “Let me think about it,” she said, shooting Hallie a quick look.
Hallie gestured around the room and grinned. “I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.”
Brynn scrunched her face up, thinking deeply. Usually, she loved a good thought exercise.
At this time last year, where did she think she would be on New Year’s Eve? Married? Probably. Living in Boston, too, she guessed. It was strange how she couldn’t picture things clearly. Was it because everything had fallen apart? Or had she never been able to do that?
The only thing that she could really see in her mind's eye was the idea of her parents being happy that she was settled and safe. Summers at their beach house in Bingham. Her own sense of satisfaction that she’d checked another milestone off of her list.
Grant, for the upheaval that he’d caused her life, didn’t really factor into her thoughts. And that was… strange. For lack of a better word. Maybe she could have found a better word, but formonths she hadn’t wanted to pick things apart. Because what did that say about her? God, she’d been planning to marry him! But instead of visualizing their life clearly, it was fuzzy. That feeling alone left her feeling off-kilter.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” she admitted, her mind growing more and more confused as she tried to poke around inside of it for any understanding as to why she’d been pushing forward with a life that she couldn’t even envision clearly.
At the same time she took a generous gulp of her drink, she was met with an arched eyebrow from Hallie. That look stirred something foreign in her that she didn’t understand either. “That seems strange for someone who was already engaged.”
Hallie’d cut straight to the quick.
Brynn realized then, with startling clarity, that she’d never been able to see a future with Grant because, deep down, she hadn’t wanted one. Grant was… “My ex-fiancé was a huge asshole, wasn’t he?” she asked, trying the words on for size. And god, they fit so perfectly that they knocked the air out of her lungs.
She didn’t expect the strangled laugh that burst out of Hallie’s mouth, but it was loud and took over the entire room with its exuberance. “Brynn, you could run a puppy smuggling ring, and you’d still be ten times the person that Grant Devereux is. I don’t even understand how he managed to get both Sydneyandyou,” Hallie mused out loud as Brynn tried not to get fixated on the idea that there was any world in which she and Sydney were on the same level. Or that Hallie, of all people, genuinely believed that to be the case.
“Two relationships, and my first boyfriend ended up being gay, and my second one ended up being… Grant.” God, what did that say about her and her taste in people? Gregory was an incredible man, but there were signs.Plentyof signs. Only, just like with Grant, she hadn’t wanted to see them.
Hallie waved her off at the same time she polished off her drink, not nearly as overwhelmed as Brynn that her romantic life was crumbling before her eyes. “So you kissed a few toads. It happens to everyone,” she said, like it was no big deal.
“Has it happened to you?” Brynn wondered out loud, thinking about the recent conversation at Reese and Sydney’s house.
Hallie squinted at her. “No…”
“Well then?—”
“I don’t have relationships,” Hallie admitted. “I mean, it’s not that I don’t want a relationship, but I’ve just never had one. So, really, maybe yours didn’t end up the way you wanted, but at least you tried. That’s not nothing, Brynn.”
“That’s crazy,” Brynn said, genuinely aghast. Hallie was a catch; it was an objective fact. Pretty and kind and funny and unbelievably great with people. And she made Brynn feel good whenever they were together. She imagined that had to be true for other people, too.
It was hard to imagine a world where Hallie didn’t have people eating out of the palm of her hand. At the very least, lining up for a chance to date her.
While Brynn was thinking about the ridiculousness of what Hallie had just said, Hallie had stood up, crossed the room, and was already on her way back with the whiskey bottle in hand. “Most people who forsake love for work at least have high-paying jobs. Or, like, because they’re a doctor and save lives or something.” She plopped herself unceremoniously back down on the sofa and extended her arms dramatically. “I am, by the grace of Reese, squatting in this apartment, where I’ve lived for my entire life. And working eighty-plus-hour weeks on top of it.”
Generally, Brynn loved consistency. It was comforting to know what to expect. It was clear that Hallie didn’t feel the same, at least in this respect. Unfortunately, Brynn didn’t see herselfbeing especially good at pep talks. This would be going so much better if the roles were reversed, she thought dimly. And then she had an idea. “What would you tell me right now, if I came to you and said exactly what you said to me to you?”
Hallie blinked slowly before pointing the bottle of whiskey at Brynn. “First, I’m going to need you to run that by me again.”
Brynn laughed but pressed on. She didn’t have the same feeling of embarrassment that she usually did when she was misunderstood. Maybe it was the whiskey flowing through her veins, or maybe it was just Hallie. Either way, her heart rate picked up excitedly. “If I came to you and told you that my romantic life wasn’t where I thought it was going to be and I was struggling, what would you tell me?”
This question earned Brynn a squinty eye, but it was clear that Hallie was thinking it over. “That it’s never too late to kidnap Grant and strand him on an island.”
