I come alive in the surrender.
* * *
“You were brilliant,” Toni cries as he comes running at me. He jumps into my arms, showering my face with kisses until I can barely stand for laughing.
“Hold up,” Oz calls from behind us. “Do we all get sugar? This was a team effort, you know.”
Wrapping an arm around Toni’s waist, I tug him against me. “No way. This one is all mine.”
Charmaine makes her way to Gavin’s side at a more leisurely pace. “Don’t worry, boys, you were all brilliant. Of course, no one outshines the hot drummer.” She smiles up at her husband and they share a tender kiss.
Oz lets out a playful groan. “Next year, Johnny and I are bringing dates of our own. Right, mate?”
With the rush of the performance still reverberating through my limbs, my very bones set up a clamour at the mention of a repeat.Yes, more, again.I stiffen at the familiar voice drifting unbidden through my head. The one that convinced me I could do anything.You can handle it, the voice whispers.Go a little further, give a little bit more. It’ll be so worth it.
My throat closes up and I glare at Johnny. I can’t do this again. The temptation is too strong, the risk too great.
He looks at me, no doubt sees the panic twitching through me, and the satisfied grin slides off his face. “For now, let’s enjoy this for the awesome experience it was,” he tells the group in general. “Let the future take care of itself.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Gavin leads us in the direction of the van. “It was freaking awesome. How many people do you reckon were in the crowd?”
The conversation moves on and I nod at Johnny in thanks. He returns the nod, but his jaw is clenched as he turns away.
An hour later, Toni and I are on our way to the camper trailer to pack our stuff and head back to Brisbane. Everyone else is staying for the final night of the festival and heading home tomorrow, but I want to get out of here before I get too comfortable. Before I begin ruminating on what could be.
We’ve almost reached the trailer when a tall man with ginger hair jogs up to us. “Excuse me, Ned Corbyn?” He approaches with a wide grin on his handsome face and one hand extended.
Assuming he’s a fan, I return the smile and give the hand a shake. “That’s me. How’s it going?”
“It’s great to meet you,” he replies. “The name’s Calum Ellis.” He holds out a business card. “Rush Music Management.”
My smile dies. I eye off the card like reaching for it might result in a manacle around my wrist. “Not interested.” Taking hold of Toni’s hand, I walk away.
Calum falls into step beside us. “I apologise for ambushing you, this isn’t the way I prefer to operate. But I caught Fifth Circle’s performance earlier and I had to introduce myself. Your set was impressive.”
I nod my thanks and keep walking. “Glad you enjoyed it.”
“How is it possible I’m based in Brisbane, and yet I’ve barely heard of your band before this weekend?” he asks, sounding genuinely baffled.
“We’re not big on promotion.”
“That’s one of the areas where I can help,” he replies with a nod. “Give me six months and I’ll put Fifth Circle’s name on the lips of every music lover in the country.”
I bark out a laugh. “You’re full of shit all the way to the top, aren’t you?”
His grin manages to be confident and amused at the same time. “No, actually, I’m not.”
“Ned.” Toni yanks on the arm stretched out behind me. “Not all of us are six feet tall.”
Glancing back over my shoulder, I see his flushed face as he struggles to keep up with my longer strides. “Sorry.” I slow down enough for him to walk beside me.
“I’ll admit to a certain boldness when it comes to proclaiming my intentions,” Calum says, “but I assure you I have the experience and contacts necessary to back them up.” He goes on to reel off a list of bands he’s worked with. Some of the names make even my eyes widen. Then, he mentions one of the management companies he used to work for and my jaw clenches. Not so long ago, this man was Zac’s colleague. I officially want nothing to do with him or his contacts. “I’ve recently joined the Rush team because I want to work with more indie bands,” he continues, as though oblivious to my darkening mood. “No labels and no nonsense.”
As we approach the trailer, he holds his card out once more. “Perhaps we can talk more once we’re all back in Brisbane.”
My smile is tight. “Thanks, but no thanks.” BecauseEat shit and diewould be overkill.
Calum opens his mouth to speak again, but Toni beats him to it. “Ned is super glad you enjoyed the show, Mr Ellis,” he says in a cheerful voice as he slides between us. “As he already mentioned, Fifth Circle is not currently looking for a manager. You can leave the card with me if you must, but now is the time to bow out gracefully.”
