He nods, holding my gaze. “Don’t get up to any mischief.”
“Yes, sir.” I give him a two-fingered salute.
“Sir?” He lifts his eyebrows as he backs away. “I like it.”
Smiling, I head in our original direction.
As predicted, it doesn’t take long to speak with the organisers and confirm the details for tomorrow’s sound check and performance. Leaving their tent behind, I retrace my steps across a large grassy area behind the amphitheatre. Fresh air fills my lungs as I stare up at the expanse of blue sky. The handful of fluffy clouds agree with this morning’s weather forecast, there’ll be no rain this weekend. I laugh under my breath as I remember how round Toni’s eyes got when I mentioned the possibility of mud on this trip. He’ll be thrilled to know his wardrobe isn’t at risk.
Reaching into my back pocket, I take out my phone to text Toni. My index finger presses against the print reader as I scan the crowd in case he’s nearby. In the search for signs of platinum blond hair, my gaze snags on ash blond strands instead.
The world recedes to a single point of focus on the far side of the field. I stop walking. Roots sprout from the bottom of my shoes, wending their way into the dirt and locking me in place.
Twenty metres away, a long-fingered hand lifts to comb back an errant lock, revealing Zac’s profile. Air rushes into my lungs. Three years. He looks exactly the same.
Standing in the shadow of the amphitheatre, he’s dressed in a suit, one hand tucked casually into his pocket as he talks to a small group of people who listen attentively to every word. He looks good. He always looks good. Sophisticated. Successful.
I tried to dress to his level once. He’d disapproved, claiming I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I’d been disappointed by his reaction but agreed with him in the end. Returning the suit, I’d gone back to wearing my denim jeans. It didn’t occur to me until months after I left, the suit hadn’t been the problem. He didn’t like the idea of us looking like equals. He was in charge, and he never wanted me to forget it.
Zac brings the conversation he’s having to an end with a few handshakes, and the rest of the group moves away. He turns to walk in the opposite direction but stops when he catches me staring at him across the stretch of grass. His gaze narrows, as if he’s trying to place me.
That hurts. Holy fuck, it hurts. But I get it. I look different. At twenty-four, my shoulders are broader than they used to be, my muscles more developed. I’ve lost the roundness in my face, and my hair, once long enough to brush my shoulders, is shorter now.
Despite the changes to my appearance, recognition dawns in a handful of quickened heartbeats. It’s there in the straightening of his spine, in the smug half-smile lifting the corners of his mouth. He used to greet me with that same smile every time I turned up on his doorstep. It always evoked an answering smile in me. Not anymore. Thank heaven for small mercies.
He takes a step towards me and I flinch, jerking out of my stupor. I need to move. Why can’t I move?
Because Zac hasn’t told me to.
Panic streaks through my veins, and I tear my left leg away from the ground, surprised when the movement isn’t hampered by rending roots and lifting soil. Another step follows the first and then I’m off. I glance back over my shoulder, but he’s not following me. Instead, he’s standing right where I left him, his smile widening as he watches me scurry away with my dick tucked between my legs.
I continue looking behind me every minute or two as I make my way back to the camping area. Zac can’t know where I’m sleeping tonight. I can’t let him get that close.
You want me close.His voice, deeply confident and familiar as the moon, is loud inside my skull. Because I know what he would say if I gave him the chance.This is why you’re here, my boy. You want me to find you.
No, it’s not true. At least, I don’t think it’s true. A growl rumbles behind my clenched teeth. Zac has always been able to twist me all up inside. I don’t trust myself when it comes to him. Not my mind, definitely not my body. It’s the reason I refused to come down here alone in the first place.
You’re safe with me.
My mind lurches towards the memory of Toni’s words. Hanging on to them, I look down at the phone I still have clutched in my hand. I make the call.
“Hey.” Toni is all cheer and sunshine when he answers. “I was looking for—”
“Meet me at the trailer,” I snap, cutting him off. “Please.”
There’s the briefest hesitation on the other end, and then, “On my way.” The line goes dead, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I hate ruining Toni’s good time, but this is the reason he’s here. I need him to come through for me.
Reaching the trailer, I wrench open the door and stumble inside, slamming it closed behind me. The air is hot and stuffy, but I suck it down anyway, hoping to calm the twitching in my limbs.
A few minutes pass before the door opens again. I jerk back.
“What happened?” Toni asks as he steps through the doorway, breathing hard.
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
“Don’t bullshit me.” Closing the door, he rushes over, lifting his hands to the sides of my face and using his hips to trap me against the small dining table. “You saw Zac, right?”
My head jerks in a nod.
