“Hey there, Ned.”
My head snaps to the right. Toni is halfway down the hall, lounging back against his open doorway. His arms are crossed, one leg bent. The smirk dangling upon his lips isn’t wide enough to reveal his dimples, only his satisfaction at my arrival. “Come on in,” he drawls before moving out of view.
I stand frozen in the corridor, my panting breath loud in the empty hallway. I shouldn’t be doing this, coming to him this way. At a prearranged time, with a predetermined agenda, all to solidify an exchange of time and favours. This is more than a simple hook-up. It’s a transaction.
The thought turns my stomach with its familiarity, but the rest of me is tied in so many lust-addled knots I barely notice the sour taste in the back of my mouth. This isn’t like before, I remind myself. Toni and I are equal partners here. If there’s exploitation to be had, it will come from both sides.
My feet move, eating up the distance between us. He waits for me beside the open door, one hand still on the knob. I don’t make eye contact as I pass him by, coming to a halt in the middle of the living room.
His apartment is tiny, an odd collection of shoe boxes bound together by walls, but spotlessly clean. It’s a stark difference from my own place. Four grown men stuffed into one rundown brick monstrosity doesn’t make for a pretty picture. I’ll have to remember never to invite him over.
Toni’s small kitchen looks over a combined dining and living area. An open door on the left reveals the corner of a large bed. Another door on the opposite side is closed. And locked. With a key. Who installs locks with keyholes inside their own home?
Behind me, the front door closes with a soft click. I don’t turn around. If I face him, surely all the longing of my greedy soul will show right there in my eyes. He’ll realise how badly I want this, and the balance will shift. Knowledge truly is power, and I have no idea what a man like Toni would do with me if he had it.
A gentle pressure lands on my shoulders and I jump at the contact.
With a gentle shushing sound, Toni tugs off my jacket, sliding it down my arms. “I thought you might want to get comfortable.” The jacket lands on the nearby couch and he moves to stand beside me. I keep my eyes front and centre, but he’s there in my periphery, watching me.
Swallowing hard, I gesture to the locked door with one hand. “Do you have a paranoid flatmate? Or is it some kind of sex dungeon?”
He gives a quiet chuckle, his hand landing on my lower back. “Neither. That’s my office. No one goes in there but me.” Caressing fingers skim down over my right butt cheek and between my legs to brush my inner thigh through the thick cotton of my work pants.
I gasp, a faint tremor passing through me. “You don’t trust your guests to respect your privacy?” I ask, trying to keep track of our conversation.
“Curiosity kills more relationships than it does cats.” He turns to stand in front of me and begins unbuttoning my shirt. “Few people can resist the lure of a closed door. I make it easy for them.” The edges of the material are pushed apart, and his fingertips play across my chest, finding the hardness of my nipples. Tiny bolts of pleasure zing around my insides at his touch, and my eyes clamp shut as I let out a soft whimper. Still, I don’t reach for him. I want to, but my arms remain locked by my sides. Restless in movement, but frozen to true action.
It’s been so long since I responded to a man the way I respond to Toni. The discovery is exciting and irresistible and horrifying in its possibilities. Every time I learn a piece of his puzzle it makes me more wary. The man is a liar. He’s a manipulator. Now I find he keeps whole parts of himself locked away—literally. How do I even begin to trust a man who assumes even those closest to him are a single temptation away from betrayal? I’d have to be crazy.
“Ned.” Toni’s hands cup my cheeks, and he angles my face down towards his until I’m staring into the depths of his warm, brown gaze. “We don’t have to do this. Even real boyfriends don’t always have sex right away.” His gentle murmur caresses my nerves, soothing the riotous trembling in my limbs. “We could be those kinds of boyfriends, if you’d prefer.”
I wouldn’t prefer, not at all, but I understand his need to clarify my consent. I haven’t touched him once since walking through his door. We haven’t kissed. I’ve barely even looked at him. I’ve been so worried about giving too much away, I haven’t given him anything at all. And I want to give… so badly I can taste it.
“Have you ever been that kind of boyfriend?” I ask.
His gaze drops. He pulls the edges of my shirt together. “That’s not the point.” When he looks up again, his lips are curved in a reassuring smile. It does little to hide his disappointment. “The agreement we made stands. I won’t abandon you in your time of need, not for any reason, but the rest is up to us.” He backs up a step. “This can play out however you want.”
Frustration claws at my insides. I know exactly what I want. I want him to deliver on a promise he has no idea he made. I want him to give me what I need, without me ever having to tell him what it is. It’s unfair and unlikely, but here we are. Tonight is a test, and I’ll be pissed off if he doesn’t pass—even as my hesitation ensures his failure. “How doyouwant this to play out?” I ask in a hoarse whisper, desperate to salvage the situation.
He huffs a laugh. “I want to fuck you, obviously.” He gestures downward and the generous bulge in his pants makes my mouth water.
Reaching out, I palm his groin with one hand. “What are you waiting for?”
His eyes fall closed on a harsh groan, but his hands reach for my shoulders, holding me back. “Ned, darling, I only fuck men who want to be fucked by me. Up until about one second ago, you seemed less than enthusiastic.”
“By all means, let me ease your conscience.” Yanking my shirt open, I shrug it off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor. “I like that you checked to make sure I want this,” I tell him in a low voice as I reach for my belt, “and I like that you didn’t try to use our agreement as leverage.”
“I would never.” The glare he throws my way would be more effective if he wasn’t so focused on my hands as I undo my pants and lower the zipper.
“There’s one more thing I would like you to do.” Toeing off my shoes, I quickly shed the rest of my clothes until I’m naked before him. My hard dick stands between us, all but begging for his attention. I wrap my hand around it and stroke until a single drop of pre-come oozes from the tip. “Show me you can handle me when I need to be handled.” Toni sucks in a breath, his gaze snapping up to meet mine. With a cavalier grin, I offer one last hint. “Push me if you need to. I can take it.”
A wide smile breaks out on Toni’s face, and my stomach does a back flip at the reappearance of those sexy as fuck dimples. “So long as you’re sure,” he says with a laugh, stepping forwards to slide an arm around my neck. He pulls me in for a kiss. It’s achingly thorough and deliciously wet.
I melt against him with a sigh of relief, loving the way my nude body rubs against his fully clothed form. Eager to feel more of him, I tug the shirt from his waistband and slide my hands beneath the soft material. His skin is hot and smooth to the touch, and I want to consume every available inch.
I’m on the verge of falling to my knees when his hand splays over my bare arse, the middle finger sliding deep into my crack. All the fevered writhing of my body stops. I can barely breathe, my focus zeroing in on that one point of contact. Arching my back, I lift my arse into his touch, offering him anything he desires, in whatever form he desires it.
“You’re a needy little Ned, aren’t you?” The words are a murmur against my jaw as he eases his finger lower, brushing lightly against the epicentre of my hunger. His other hand trails up my chest where his thumb flicks back and forth across a hard nipple. I cry out, eyes closed, mouth open. Hell, yes. Just like that.
