Heaving a sigh, I drop my head back against the wall. “What. Utter. Codswallop.”
Tristan springs away from me, as if I’ve delivered a right hook to his jaw. “What the fuck?”
“Yeah,” I say with a bitter snort. “That’s pretty much where I am, too.”
He stands there silently, hands clenched at his sides. I figure this is him giving me a chance to explain myself before he goes fully nuclear and explodes into a bloody mess all over my studio floor.
“Here’s what I think,” I begin, struggling to wrangle my scattered thoughts into some kind of order. “You spend so much time thinking about what you do and don’t deserve. But what about the rest of us? Me, your parents, your friends. What do we deserve? And what about Claire? You don’t know what would have happened if she hadn’t been with you when you fell. It’s possible she saved your life and yet you act like your heartbeat stopped alongside hers. Is that what she deserves?”
“Don’t,” he rasps, backing away another step. “You don’t know—”
“There’s a lot I don’t know.” Darting forwards, I grab him by the arms and yank him towards me, turning at the last second. It’s his back hitting the wall this time, with just enough force to have him gasping. His hands clutch at my sides, hovering somewhere between the edge of pulling me closer and the verge of pushing me away.
“This is about what I do know,” I tell him, my hands on his shoulders. “I know I’m in love with you. I know I want to be in love with you, because it makes me feel truly alive for the first time.” Joy streaks through me, but disappointment is close on its heels. “I know you’re taking the best thing that’s ever happened to me and turning it into a sin against nature. Something wrong and ugly.” My teeth grit as I press against him, letting him feel the longing of my body as it slides against the longing of his. “Is that what I deserve from you?”
“No.” The word is half-groan, half-sob. Dropping his hands to my hips, he lowers his head to my shoulder. “You deserve everything.”
I slide my fingers through his hair, lifting his head back up until he’s looking at me. “My everything includes loving you, being allowed to love you,” I say, infusing my words with all the passion coursing through my veins. “Let me love you, Tristan.”
“But I don’t know how.” His voice is a broken rasp and fear flashes over his face. “I don’t remember…” There’s a moment of panicked confusion before he stills suddenly. With a slow breath, he relaxes back against the wall and looks me directly in the eyes. “Sam,” he whispers, “I need you to tell me what to do.”
Emotions ricochet within the confines of my skin in a whole new kind of riot. Affection. Lust. Trepidation. They’re all there. I want to make love to this man, decimate every one of his senses, and pull the plug on the whole deal all at once. He needs me to take the lead. He’s always needed me to take the lead, but I’ve never held this much power over anyone and I have no idea what to do with it.
Siren Sam would know.The words are a throaty murmur locked in the back of my throat. Light with humour and rich with hidden cravings.
Lowering my head, I seek out that place inside. The part of me that knows exactly who I am, who I’m meant to be. The part that wants to be in control. When I meet his gaze once more, I’m ready to give Tristan exactly what he needs.
“When I say the word, you’re going to go upstairs, take off your clothes, and lie down on my bed.” The siren’s song falls easily from between my eager lips and I relish the delicious shiver that ripples through Tristan’s limbs. Taking a step closer, I add one final instruction. “Do not touch yourself. Understand?”
He gives a jerky nod, breath coming in shallow pants.
“Good.” A satisfied smile spreads across my face as I reach down to the front of his thin trousers and run my fingertips along the hardness of his arousal, from base to tip. He whimpers but holds still. “I’m going to remind you what it feels like to be utterly and completely loved.”
Swallowing hard, Tristan closes his eyes and awaits my command.
I allow a few torturous seconds to elapse. And take a carnal delight in every one of them. Who the hell is this person I’ve let loose on the man I love? This is a part of me I’ve never met, never felt safe enough to unleash. Being so far gone is a little scary, but also unbelievably hot. I don’t want to stop.
I take a step back, so we’re no longer touching. “Go.”
Tristan’s eyes spring open and he moves in hurried strides to the bottom of the stairs. Once there, he hesitates, one foot on the bottom tread. His hand is tight on the railing, his body stiff.
“Wait,” I call out and then slip in front of him. When I start to climb, he follows with ease and I smile. If he needs me to precede him up staircases, and follow him down them, I can do that. But once we reach the bedroom, he’ll be all mine.
At the top of the stairs, he rushes past me, intent on reaching the bedroom first. I follow at a slower pace, allowing him time to comply with the rest of my instructions. My patience is rewarded when I enter the bedroom. The lamp is on, providing enough light to illuminate Tristan’s naked body, laid out like an erotic tableau on my bed.
One leg is slightly bent. Both hands are fisted in the sheets. His chest heaves and his stomach hollows with every breath. As I watch, a drop of pre-come drips from the head of his pulsing erection to land on his belly. I lick my lips and Tristan lets out a muffled groan, drawing my gaze to his face. He’s biting down into the softness of his bottom lip. It pops free, all swollen and glistening, and I have to close my eyes briefly.
Get it together, Sam. Or this will be over before the fun begins.
I do want this to be fun. The man before me has had enough serious to last ten lifetimes. He needs the intensity and devotion I plan to shower him with. Even more than that, he needs to enjoy it.
Smirking, I begin to shed my clothes. “Do you have any idea how you look right now?” He shakes his head in the negative. “You look like you belong to me.” The corners of his mouth lift and I wink at him as I climb, naked, onto the bed.
“You are mine to cherish.” Crawling between his legs, I bend down to press a kiss to the inside of his bent knee before trailing more kisses up the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. When I reach his groin his hips flex, searching for my mouth, but I only provide a single, wet lick before moving further up his body. “You are mine to worship,” I murmur, circling his nipple with my tongue.
He tries to put his arms around me, but I capture his wrists and push them down into the pillow on either side of his head. “No touching,” I say with a leering grin. “I want you to lie there and take what I give you.” I roll my hips against him as I finish the sentence, and when he moans the shadow smile is on his face.
“Tell me what you’ll give me,” he says, breathlessly.
