“Yes,” I say with an emphatic nod. I would love to go out to dinner with Tristan. I’m surprised, though.
We’ve been all but inseparable in the week and a half since that night in his apartment, all the barriers between us laid to waste by the baring of our souls. But we still don’t talk about the future and, until now, we haven’t made any attempt to move our relationship out of our self-imposed bubble and into the real world. I don’t want to read too much into Tristan’s invitation, but I’d like to think it’s a step in the right direction.
Clambering off the bed, I smile as I reach for my pants. “I think it’s a great idea.”
Tristan drives us across town and up to the lookout at the summit of Mount Coot-tha. My breath catches as I take in the panoramic view of Brisbane, both the city centre and the surrounding suburbs. Far off to the left, I can even make out glimpses of Moreton Bay. The setting sun hangs low in the clear, blue sky and a gentle breeze steals the heat from the late-Spring day.
“Beautiful,” I say in a low voice.
“I haven’t been up here since primary school.” Tristan leans atop the railing at my side. “You?”
“I’ve never been here. I always wanted to come but…”
“You didn’t get around to it?” he teases with a knowing smirk.
“Something like that.” My face flushes with warmth. “What made you choose it today?”
He takes a moment to consider his answer. “I suppose I thought you’d enjoy the opportunity to see the world, without the world seeing you.”
My chest draws tight as I turn my head to glance at him. “You know me too well.”
His head moves in a non-committal gesture. “I’m starting to.”
We order dinner from the cafe and sit side-by-side at a long bench that allows us to enjoy the view. The cafe is packed with people—tourists and locals alike. It’s the first time I’ve been in such a public place in… longer than I want to think about. I’m good, though, sitting here with Tristan beside me. As long as he’s here, I barely notice anyone else, and I don’t imagine they’re noticing me.
The sun sinks below the distant horizon as we talk and laugh together, stealing food from each other’s plates and generally enjoying each other’s company. One by one, lights come on below us, the cityscape blossoming into a show of colour.
“Thank you for bringing me up here,” I say to Tristan after our dishes are cleared away. “I had no idea how vast it would seem, our tiny corner of the world. It reminds me how small and inconsequential my problems are.”
Tristan leans an elbow on the bench as he turns to watch me instead of the view. “They’re not inconsequential to you.”
“Maybe not when I’m down there in the thick of it all,” I say with a smile. “But let’s face it, no one is actually watching me. No one cares what I’m doing or if I look weird doing it. If I do upset or annoy someone, they’ve forgotten me within a day, or even an hour. People are concerned with their own lives, not with paying attention to me. I always know these things here.” I lay a hand over my heart, before gesturing to my head. “It’s good to be reminded here, where all the noise happens.”
“What you say is mostly true, but I have to admit,” he adds, a leer spreading over his face, “I pay particular attention to what you’re doingandhow you’re doing it.”
I let out a satisfied laugh. “Yeah, but I like being the centre of your attention. Who cares what anyone else thinks?”
He bites down on his lip before straightening. “You might want to remember you said that, because there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. Now seems as good a time as any.”
I used those exact words to start a conversation he didn’t want to have. Why do I feel like he’s repeating them as a way of preparing me for the same? “What is it?”
With my hand in his, he begins. “Remember when we first started working together and I mentioned George knows someone from one of the morning shows down in Sydney?”
Oh, fuck. I never say fuck, but I’m saying it now. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“They’re interested in interviewing you—if you decide you want to,” he adds, firmly. “This is not a done deal. It’s an opportunity, nothing more.” He pauses, allowing me time to digest his words.
I’m not sure I’m digesting them so much as choking on them, but I’m determined not to freak out. This is not a done deal, like Tristan said. I don’t have to say yes.
“I would come with you, of course,” he begins again, filling the silence. “We’d only be in Sydney a couple of days. Claire’s anniversary is soon after and I have to be back here for that. But I would definitely be able to come with you for the interview. I’d be there every step of the way.”
He stops talking. There’s more silence. More choking.
“The new version of the app is ready and I’m confident the relaunch next week will do better than the first go round. Which means you don’t have to do this to be successful. But…”
My gaze lifts in a non-verbal question mark.
His fingers tighten around mine and he leans closer. “I know how much good you can do. How powerful you are. I’ve felt it.” One hand flattens against his chest in emphasis. “You are brave and interesting and talented, and I know you can do this. That’s why I’m bringing you the offer, so you have the opportunity to choose for yourself. But this is not a test and you will not fail if you choose to say no. Most people would say no.”
