“How is he?” I’d managed to make it halfway through the hour-long drive home before asking, not wanting to reveal how desperate I was for more information.
Gabi glanced over her shoulder at Frank and Caroline, who’d fallen into a drunken snooze in the backseat, effectively leaving the two of us alone. “He’s good.”
I tried not to roll my eyes at the brevity of her answer. “How long is he staying in Brisbane?”
“That’s still undecided.”
Another pause. This conversation was like pulling teeth.
“What about his work?”
“He’s still doing some modelling, but only jobs in and around Brisbane.” She tried to keep the tone light, conversational, but an undercurrent of concern imbued every word.
“Something’s wrong,” I said, shaking my head. “I can tell.”
“No, you can’t,” she insisted. “Connor is fine, and even if he wasn’t, that’s not information I would divulge to you.”
Frustration curled through me. I’d once known each of them so well. Now, we were little more than strangers.
“Does he still hate me?” I asked quietly, sneaking a glance into the rear-view mirror to make sure Frank and Caroline were still asleep.
Gabi gave a heavy sigh. “We don’t talk about you, Lawrence. We never have.”
“Even after—”
“Especially after.”
A long silence followed, and then I asked, “What about you? Do you still hate me?”
She frowned as she turned her head to look at me. “I was angry at you. I was hurt by you. But I never hated you.”
Frank stirred in the backseat and we let the discussion drop, opting for less life-altering topics. I asked her about her business, she asked about mine. We fell into the familiar rhythm of conversation developed over a lifetime of shared history. By the time I pulled up to the curb outside her building, the sun hung low in the sky. Frank and Caroline were awake, and feeling the effects of their over-indulgence. When I told them I’d be back after I walked Gabi to her door, they made vague grunting noises before falling silent once more.
“This isn’t necessary,” Gabi said as she got out of the car.
I followed her up onto the footpath anyway. “It is to me.” Today’s revelations had touched on too many unresolved issues between us. I needed to know we were all right—as all right as we could get, anyway.
“I’m glad you and Connor are close again,” I told her as we rounded the corner of the building and headed for the external stairs leading to her door. “Of all the things I regret about what I did, the thought of coming between you was the worst. For what it’s worth, I still think you’d make a great couple.”
“Do you mean that?” she asked as we came to a stop at the foot of the stairs. “You’d be okay with me and Connor being together—without you?”
“Not really,” I said with a huffed laugh. “But I want you both to be happy so…” I fell quiet for a long moment, unsure how to go on. “I know what you think of me, Gabi. That I’m some sort of freak.”
“Of course I don’t think you’re a freak.”
I grimaced as I looked at her. “But you said—”
“Lawrence, come on, that happened years ago.” She sighed, reaching out to take my hand in a rare sign of affection. My fingers curled around hers, trying not to hold on too tight. “I caught you cheating on me, with one of my oldest friends, who also happened to be a boy. I lashed out, called you every bad word I could think of. I wanted you to hurt as badly as you hurt me. But I didn’t really mean any of it. Or, if I did, I don’t still think that way.”
“But I haven’t changed, Gabi. I’m still the same selfish bastard who wants more than his fair share.”
She made a vague sound of frustration as she shook her head. “Wanting something out of the ordinary doesn’t make you selfish or perverted or any of the other crap I spouted that night. You were born to be this person. It’s who you are. I think you’re lucky, actually.”
“Lucky?” I said, incredulous. “Why?”
“Because you figured it out early on, even if you struggle to live it. There’s no one right way to live in the world. If three people happen to find themselves in love with each other, why should they be denied the right to their own happiness, just because it’s different or unusual? Limiting love to two people sure as hell provides no guarantee. You deserve to live for yourself and do what makes you happy and fulfilled as a person, same as the rest of us.” She gave a definite nod as she came to the end of her rant. “You’re a good man and you’ve helped a lot of people over the years. You should be proud of who you are.”
My chest swelled as I lifted her hand and curled it in against the centre of my chest, the way I used to do. It seemed to slide into place there, the key for a lock I’d long thought broken. “You do this every time I see you, Gabi. You say something or do something, and I remember all over again.”
