Chapter 16
Harrison hadn’t had a bad dream since the night before he met Jeremy. That was more than a month of peaceful slumber. It seemed going to sleep with Jeremy on his mind was good for him.
The reprieve wasn’t a guarantee of future rest. Any night could be a bad night. But most of the time the dreams tended to come in waves, gradually worsening each night until, finally, exhaustion stripped him of the ability to dream at all. So far, there’d been no signs of growing disturbance.
Going more than a month without the dreams was rare enough Harrison began to wonder how far he could push his luck. What if he could last longer? Two months, three even. And what would happen once he started spending the whole night with Jeremy? Would holding this man throughout the darkness of the night be enough to keep his demons at bay—perhaps indefinitely?
In the two weeks they’d been officially dating, the idea of waking up beside Jeremy had become Harrison’s favourite fantasy—that and what they’d do to each other while they were still groggy with sleep. The topic of sleeping over hadn’t come up between them yet, but its absence was becoming more noticeable. It was the obvious next step in their developing relationship, though they each had their own reasons for being hesitant to take it.
The issue came to a head one night when Jeremy announced, “I think we should havethe talk.”
They were in his kitchen at the time. Harrison had made the mistake of bragging about his skills with hot chocolate during a post-sex conversation and, before he knew it, he stood in front of Jeremy’s stove stirring a saucepan of milk. He didn’t pause in the act of stirring, but his body tensed as it went into high alert. “We should?”
“Yes.” Jeremy sat on the counter beside the stove top, his long legs crossed at the ankles. “I’ll go first. It’s been over seven months since I had unprotected sex with Aaron and my recent test came back clean. With Brady and Trina, it was all condoms all the way. There’s been no one else for longer than I care to remember.”
“Good to know,” Harrison said with a nod, baffled as to why Jeremy picked this moment to divulge such information. “I’m clean as a daisy,” he added. “My last test was three months ago, but before you I hadn’t been with anyone for about eight months so…”
“Eight months? Wow, and I thought I’d turned into a monk.”
He gave Jeremy a disgruntled look. “I’m picky about where I put my dick.”
Jeremy didn’t comment on his ever-expanding vocabulary of dirty words. Instead he cleared his throat and said, “That’s why I decided we should have the talk. Because I’m becoming picky about where you put your dick, too. As in, I’ve decided I want exclusive access to it.” He paused for a moment, as if giving Harrison a moment to consider his words. “What do you think about that?”
Putting one hand on Jeremy’s hip, Harrison met his stare head-on. “I think you got it the moment I laid eyes on you, but now you’ve brought it up I’ll demand the same in return.”
“Seems fair.” Jeremy shrugged as if the decision was no big deal. “Does this mean we’re a couple now?” he asked, looking all kinds of excited. “Do I get to call you my boyfriend?”
Harrison nodded. “Please do.” They were leaning in to seal the deal with a kiss when they were interrupted by a bubbly hissing sound. The milk had boiled over. Chaos ensued, punctuated intermittently by Jeremy’s raucous laughter. It was another ten minutes before they finished cleaning up the mess and sat down on Jeremy’s couch with half-full cups of hot chocolate.
“I want to know if my boyfriend snores,” Jeremy said between sips. “So, I was thinking you should stay the night.”
Harrison glanced at him over the rim of his cup. Jeremy wore a hopeful expression as he sprawled back on the couch cushions with one leg tucked beneath him. Naked to the waist, the shorts he’d pulled on after they managed to drag themselves out of his bed hung low, exposing part of one hip. He looked like a sex-God asking for a treat. Which, as analogies went, was a bit twisted up, but sexy as hell.
“Are you sure?” he asked, wanting the answer to be yes and yet terrified of the same. He still hadn’t revealed any more of his past to Jeremy, despite the fact their initial conversation about it had gone well. Harrison kept telling himself he’d give Jeremy more details soon, but for now he wanted to enjoy what they had. That meant he’d be taking a huge risk by sleeping beside Jeremy through the night. But to refuse would hurt Jeremy’s feelings. Avoiding that was worth any risk.
“I’m sure.” Finishing his drink, Jeremy stretched out to put the empty mug on the coffee table. “It was only a suggestion,” he said, shaking his head. “If you don’t want to—”
“I’m staying,” Harrison interrupted, attempting to sound casual. “The thing is, I don’t always sleep soundly. I want you to know so you don’t worry if you wake up and I’m not beside you.” He swallowed the last of his hot chocolate, hoping to ease the sudden tightness in his throat. “Wherever I am, I’ll come back soon enough.” There was a pause while they stared at each other. He could see Jeremy’s desire to ask questions written in his expression.Why don’t you sleep well? Where do you go? Why don’t you want me to look for you?“Okay?” he asked, unable to stand the silence any longer.
“Okay.” Jeremy tried to smile, but it was a lie. “I’m a heavy sleeper so, I might not even notice.”
Putting his mug on the table, Harrison rose up on one knee and swung his other leg over Jeremy’s hips until he straddled his thighs. “There’s one more thing I should tell you,” he murmured as he leaned down to brush Jeremy’s lips with his own.
“What’s that?” Jeremy asked, his hands stroking Harrison’s bare chest.
Harrison smiled. “I plan to molest you in your sleep.”
This time the return smile was genuine. “Not if I molest you first.”
As they climbed back into bed later that night, Harrison fought to keep his breathing under control. He watched Jeremy turn off the light, felt the bed dip as he got under the covers. The moment he was within reach, Harrison pulled him close. “I want to be the big spoon,” he murmured, rubbing his nose against Jeremy’s nape.
The sexiest chuckle he’d ever heard found its way to him in the darkness. “You can be the big spoon.” Jeremy gave a happy sigh, snuggling back into him. “Good night, Harrison.”
“Good night.” Closing his eyes, Harrison inhaled deeply. Everything around him smelt like Jeremy—sunshine and happiness underpinned by the musky scent of man. He went to sleep with a smile curving his lips. This was where he was meant to be. In this place, he felt safe.
