Elizabeth wondered briefly if she was doing wrong in exposing her new acquaintance to a risk of which she knew nothing — but no, that was surely taking caution too far. Surely a mere exchange of visits could not hurt Miss Darcy, despite the perilous position of Elizabeth’s secret and the risk it held for her own reputation. And when the Darcys returned to Pemberley inthe spring, Elizabeth doubted they would ever have occasion to meet socially again.
“Well, she is quite the enthusiast of your books, is she not?” Mrs Gardiner said. “What a charming young lady.”
“She is a very pleasant acquaintance, yes,” Elizabeth said. “Although I am not sure if it was wise to share so much about our lives. Miss Darcy seems a clever girl. It would not do for her to guess that I myself am Mrs Laurence.”
“You were the one who gave such a detailed analysis of the book, my dear,” Mrs Gardiner pointed out. “But I doubt they will realise that you are the author from that.”
“I suppose we shall have to go and see Mr Tilney again to discuss another run of the book?” Mr Gardiner put in.
“Yes, I suppose we shall. And that is another thing. I do hope that I can trust Mr Tilney with the secret of my identity. He might easily let it slip.”
“I understand your concern, Lizzy,” Mr Gardiner said gently, “but you must keep it in due proportion. If you are discovered one day, I do not think it will be so very bad.”
“I should like to believe you,” Elizabeth replied, “but for my part, I cannot be so sanguine. It is one thing for myself, but what of my sisters? I could not bear it if any judgement that might come to bear against me were to taint their reputations.”
“Surely it is not so very bad,” Mr Gardiner persisted. “After all, no one thinks any the worse of a man for writing. It is not a disrespectable profession.”
“It is different for a woman, my dear,” Mrs Gardiner pointed out gently. “A man may do whatever he wishes and not be judged for it. You may go into business, buy property and doany number of things that, perhaps, you take a little for granted. If it were to be discovered that your niece is a working woman, and writing exciting Gothic novels at that, it would surely ruin any chance she might have of finding a husband — of having a family someday. And indeed, I believe Lizzy is right. Likely the scandal would reflect on her sisters as well.”
Her aunt’s defence of Elizabeth’s position, well-intentioned though it was, did little to allay her fears. “Yes, well, I shall do my best to prevent it,” she said. Shortly after the exchange, she excused herself and went back upstairs to work on her manuscript. However, Mary soon found her. Sensitive as her young cousin was, no doubt she had realised how much the conversation had distressed Elizabeth.
“Do not worry,” Mary said earnestly as she came to sit at the edge of Elizabeth’s bed. “If your secret does come out, I will run away to the Continent with you.”
Elizabeth could only laugh at this. “I do not think my shame will be quite so drastic as to require an escape from England. But I thank you for your generous offer.” She stood up from her writing desk and joined Mary in sitting at the edge of the bed. Elizabeth gave a long sigh, wishing she could talk with Jane. Her wise older sister always knew how to listen so well, to find the best in every situation. Perhaps she only needed some time away from the hustle and bustle of London. Perhaps the reason she could not seem to write was the ache in her heart from being separated from her family. She missed them all so much. And while their boisterous company made it difficult to write, perhaps too much time away from their company had given her writer’s block.
“I want to be just like you when I am grown up,” Mary said. “I do not think being married could be half the adventure of being a writer.”
Elizabeth hugged her around the shoulder, and they leaned their heads together. “You give me far too much credit. To own the truth, Mary, I am not sure what I want.” Elizabeth kissed her forehead. “Perhaps I am a dreadful romantic, but I should not turn away from marriage — not if I found a gentleman I truly loved. Though I do not know how I could ever give up my writing.”
Long after Mary had gone, Elizabeth sat staring at a blank page, unable to move past the conversation she had with the Darcys. Miss Darcy had been glowing in her praise ofThe Castle of Skybree, but it was apparent that Mr Darcy had no use for her little stories.
Was all she was doing for nothing? All that she had done since her father’s death had been done with the intention of avoiding the very real danger of ending up in the gutter, along with her four sisters and mother. Then again, if she had let go of her pride and allowed her uncle and aunt to take them in, might she have found a respectable husband by now? Might she even have found love?
It was impossible to know, and yet Elizabeth’s doubts lingered. When she reached the end of her life, would she regret the sacrifice she had made?
Chapter 8
The following day, Georgiana paced in the drawing room as she waited for the Bennet ladies to call. Darcy smiled at his little sister, amused by her enthusiasm. “You know, they might not come today. We could go out and do some shopping, perhaps see if Mrs Laurence’s novel is anywhere to be found? I know you want a copy of your own, now that you have returned Miss Bennet’s.”
“Nonsense. We have already searched so much that I am sure there are no copies left in London. I shall have to wait until she does a second printing,” Georgiana said with a small sigh. “Besides, I do not want to go out and miss our new friends. Miss Bennet said she would return the call.”
“That does not mean it will be today,” Mrs Annesley gently reminded her charge. Darcy exchanged a glance with her. Georgiana, in many ways well recovered, still seemed terribly vulnerable in others. “We do not know when, or even if, they will call. You would do better not to get your hopes up.”
Georgiana huffed and sat down. “Was I too forward in asking them to come here? I would not want to impose on them. But I do like talking with Miss Bennet. She was very kind to me.”
“Yes, she was,” Darcy agreed. He cleared his throat. “Do not worry, Georgiana. I am sure Miss Bennet and Mrs Gardiner would not consider your invitation an imposition. Quite the contrary. You honour them by asking them to come.”
She smiled at him in relief. “Thank you, Fitz. You reassure me greatly.” Darcy smiled to himself. Innocent as his sister was, she had taken him to be referring solely to the honour of any person indicating to another that their company would be a welcome compliment. That was true, of course, but it was also true that Cheapside was not a fashionable neighbourhood, and the Gardiner’s house, though tidy and comfortable, showed them to belong to a social class well below their own. Being better versed in the world than the innocent Georgiana, Miss Bennet and her aunt would also be sensible of the compliment in being asked to visit in a far more fashionable part of London.
“Why do you not practice the pianoforte if you are intent on staying in this afternoon?” Darcy suggested. He had a good many letters to write, but he did not want to neglect his sister in such a state of upset.
“Yes, Miss Darcy, your brother is right,” Mrs Annesley put in. “It will make the time go much more quickly for you, I daresay.
“I suppose,” she said glumly. Still, Georgiana did at least go over to the instrument. She sat down and began plunking at the keys, but it was with no great concentration or enjoyment, he could see. She was longing for a visit from her new friend, and it seemed nothing would bring her out of her poor spirits except the arrival of Miss Bennet.
Hardly a quarter-hour later, the butler appeared around the corner and, looking somewhat startled, bowed and handed Darcy a calling card. “Forgive me, sir, but there is a young ladyand her aunt at the door. A Miss Elizabeth Bennet and Mrs Gardiner.”
He could not contain his smile as he looked over his shoulder at Georgiana, who, despite her hesitations, had already become entirely lost in the music. She no longer tapped distractedly at the keys, but poured herself into her song as though to express everything in her heart. “Very good. Show them in, please. And have tea and refreshments sent up.”
