Elizabeth was quiet for a long time. “I cannot say exactly, Mary. I know that when I am with Mr Darcy, I cannot seem to breathe, with my heart all aflutter. But it is deeper than that. Before we were engaged, I never dreamed I would have a chance with him. I did not dare to hope. All I wanted was what was best for him, even if it was not with me.” She sighed and turned onto her side. “I think that is what true love is. It is seeking the best for someone, even if you get nothing in return. It is seeing the best in them.”
“But what if you have never met the person you are in love with?” Mary asked.
Elizabeth stalled for a moment, trying to comprehend what her sister was asking. “Are you speaking for yourself, Mary? Perhaps of Mr Campbell?”
Even in the darkness, Elizabeth could sense the sheepish smile on Mary’s face. “Yes. He replied to Papa’s letter — or rather, to my letter, for I am afraid my postscript was as long as all the rest put together. He told me all about Scotland and Strathalt House. And he has also said he hopes we may meet in person when Papa next comes to Scotland. I know it will sound nonsensical, but I think I might be in love. Or at least, I have the hope of love.” Mary’s voice, usually so quiet and controlled, held a note of breathless joy. “I never felt this way before.”
Elizabeth was relieved that Jane’s announcement had not been the thing to upset her. “Well, I have had the pleasure of meeting Mr Campbell in person, and I am convinced that the two of you have a good chance of finding love. Even so, love is more of a choice than something you fall into. Mr Darcy and I have had our battles to overcome, misunderstandings being chief among them.”
“But you overcame them,” Mary said eagerly. “And perhaps that means that there is still hope that you and Jane will recover from whatever has gone wrong between you. It may only take some time.”
Elizabeth did not want to crush her hopes, but she had little hope that their crumbling relationship could still be saved. Perhaps there were just some things that were too far gone. “I do not know, Mary. I have tried. Now, the rest will be up to Jane.”
Mary nodded. “I am sorry, Lizzy. You have always been so close to Jane.”
“I love all my sisters,” Elizabeth said and turned over onto her back again, holding out her arm so Mary could snuggle up beside her, just like they had done when they were little girls. Elizabeth felt sorry for Mary. When Kitty had come along soquickly after her, then Lydia, she had not got the attention that Jane and Elizabeth had got from their mother.
Soon, Mary was asleep and turned away from Elizabeth, but remained snuggled beside her in the bed. Elizabeth let out a long breath, saddened at the thought that there were not many of these sisterly connections left to her. She would soon be a married woman, starting a new adventure and a new family of her own.
Perhaps one day, a relationship would blossom between Mary and Mr Campbell. She deserved a good man and a good situation in life. As for Jane, Elizabeth could do little more to help her embittered sister, no matter how much she wished she could.
Chapter 28
“Darcy, you are not even trying, are you?” Bingley asked as he went around the billiard table and prepared to take his next shot. “I must say, your being in love has made you so distracted as to be a blessing to me.”
“Forgive me, Bingley. I suppose I am a little distracted. I cannot think straight when Elizabeth is in the house.”
“Well, that is a pity, because you cannot think straight when she is not in the house, either. But do not think I mind. It is quite amusing, actually. I never thought to see you lose focus or act like a besotted schoolboy.” Bingley took his shot and sank the last ball he needed to win the game. He gave a proud smile. “There, you see? It has worked to my advantage.”
Just then, the door opened with a knock, and Georgiana peeked her head inside. “Forgive the intrusion, gentlemen. May I?” she asked. She came in without being invited, though neither gentleman was likely to mind. Far from it. Darcy was always happy to see his sister, and to judge from his expression, Bingley was half besotted himself.
“Of course, Miss Darcy, you know you are always welcome,” Bingley said. “But where is Miss Elizabeth? Did she not arrive some time ago?”
“She did. But I wondered if I might have a moment to speak to my brother in confidence?” She smiled sweetly at Bingley.
“Certainly. Call me when you are finished. Perhaps we can join you and Miss Elizabeth in the parlour for tea?”
“Yes, please do.”
With a friendly nod, Bingley left them. Darcy looked at his sister with pride not unmixed with surprise. Georgiana had indeed grown in charm and social ability. Before her lessons with Elizabeth, she would never have dreamed of interrupting them, nor of speaking to Bingley with such openness and ease.
When Georgiana turned to him, his smile vanished. Georgiana’s expression was worryingly grave. “What is the matter?” Darcy asked urgently.
“I am worried for Elizabeth,” Georgiana said quietly.
Darcy was immediately put on the alert. “Why so? Does she seem to be falling ill?”
“No. She is not sick. That is, I do not believe she is in any danger concerning her health. I mean only that she seems heartsick. She is not her usual self,” Georgiana splayed her hands. “I know she continues to have trouble at home with Miss Bennet, but —”
“Has she said this to you?” Darcy asked. There had been signs each time he had visited the Bennets and on the few occasions the whole family had been invited to Longbourn, but he had seen nothing to make him suspect an escalation.
“She would never complain. But when I questioned her, she confessed Jane has continued to be unkind to her, in passing, of course. I believe being at Longbourn is very trying forher.” She gave a frustrated sigh. “Not to mention, Mr Collins is still there. I assume you have been informed of the engagement between Mr Collins and Miss Bennet?”
“I have.” He and Bingley had talked at length about the strange coupling. He had not been kind in his estimation of how much happiness the pair was likely to enjoy, or how much peace.
“I suspect that Mr Collins’s presence and Jane’s meanness of spirit have made life at Longbourn all but unbearable for her. I would go to her —”
Before Georgiana could finish speaking, Darcy was headed toward the billiards room door. He could not bear to think of his Elizabeth in distress. When he arrived at the parlour, he stopped for a moment, seeing Elizabeth sitting at the tea table. She looked up a moment later, as if she sensed someone watching her, and a small smile spread across her lips.
