“Not at all, Georgie,” Fitzwilliam said heartily. He bounded into the carriage, leaving Darcy no choice but to go along. He would speak to Fitzwilliam later. The proposed bet was hardly suitable. Darcy could not help but think his heart much too valuable to throw away on a wager.
And if his was not, then Elizabeth’s most certainly was.
∞∞∞
At supper that night, Darcy was relieved to have some time to himself to think. He enjoyed his cousin’s company, of course, but after the wager he had proposed, he was unsure whether he could be good company to anyone.
His heart ached as it never had before. Why should it feel as though his heart was shattering and soaring all at the same time? If this was what love was like, he could not blame himself for not embarking on the journey sooner. It was misery and ecstasy all at once.
“Brother? Is everything all right?” Georgiana asked, drawing him from his reveries.
He cleared his throat and gave her a weak smile. “Of course. Why should anything be wrong?”
She gave him a knowing smile. “Well, you have barely said a word since we left the park outside the modiste. And you have hardly eaten a bite of your supper.” She cocked her headto the side as if it would allow her to see him better. “What is it, brother?”
He sighed heavily, not about to go into the details with her. “There is a great deal on my mind. Business. It would only bore you,” he said.
She frowned. “I have seen you when you have business decisions to make, and it does not affect you like this. No, I think there is something else afoot.” Georgiana sliced a piece of the roasted meat and took a small bite, waiting for him to tell her the truth. When he said nothing, she went on. “It seems our cousin is quite smitten with Miss Bennet.” She watched him carefully, making him squirm under her unswerving gaze.
“You have a bad habit of hitting much too close to home, Georgiana,” Darcy said with his best attempt at lightness. He sighed heavily and forced himself to take a bite of his food. He had not realised how hungry he actually was, and ate in silence for some time, hoping that Georgiana would drop the subject.
Darcy did not get his wish. Georgiana continued to talk about Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth. “I saw them at the art showing and wondered why you had not stayed with them. Do you not enjoy her company? I thought her very pleasant.”
At that, Darcy wiped his mouth and stood up from his chair. “Goodnight, Georgiana. I hope you sleep well,” he said and walked away from the table.
She stood as well and followed him. “But you have not finished your supper yet. Please, come and sit down, brother.”
He shook his head. “I am not hungry. Please, finish your supper. I shall see you in the morning.” He kissed her on the forehead, not wanting her to feel that he was angry with her. He was not angry, only heartsore.
Darcy hurried out of the dining room and down the darkened hallways toward the library. It was a cool night, with soft rain striking against the windowpanes. If their wager had been about the weather turning foul again, Darcy would have been named the winner. However, it was not about that. It was about their lives — about the woman they both loved. Or perhaps, about the woman they both said they loved. Did Fitzwilliam truly know Elizabeth well enough for love?
He was, perhaps, more in love with the idea that Elizabeth had a fortune on the horizon, Darcy thought sourly. He could not blame Fitzwilliam for wishing to marry for wealth. His cousin would need to do so if he wished to live in the manner expected of an earl’s son. Yet such practical concerns were not the same as love.
Elizabeth could not marry Fitzwilliam. Darcy thought with sudden, savage desperation that she must marry no one but himself. He would have to see to that. Darcy would have to do all in his power to ensure she saw him for who he really was, not the foolish, arrogant man that she undoubtedly thought him to be. How could he change her mind? How could he show her that his love was genuine?
Darcy walked down the shelves, trying to find a book that might distract him from the disturbing nature of his thoughts, but he soon gave up and went out into the main area of the library, sinking into one of the plush reading chairs. Moonlight streamed through the windows, separated by intermittent rain clouds. He did not mind the drizzle. It matched the gloomy mood of his heart.
There must be some way to show Elizabeth how he felt about her, to convince her he had left his foolish prejudice behind. It would not do to get this close and then lose her. Hewould not be as dramatic as to say it would kill him. But he would never be the same.
Darcy smiled ruefully. Elizabeth might never know it. If he failed, if she chose Fitzwilliam, it would be his duty to remain silent.
Yet falling in love with her had changed his life forever.
Chapter 21
The sky had already darkened as Elizabeth sat in front of the vanity, waiting for the maid to finish arranging her hair. Mrs Gardiner knocked lightly on the frame of the open door.
“Hello, aunt,” Elizabeth said warmly, smiling at her aunt in the mirror. “Please do come in.”
If Elizabeth had formed any idea of why her aunt had come to her, it could only have been to give some news or instructions for their evening. To her surprise, it was no such thing. Saying nothing, Mrs Gardiner walked lightly behind her, placed a necklace over her head, and let it settle around her throat. She gave Elizabeth an approving nod. “There now, your toilette is complete.”
Elizabeth gasped as she looked at herself in the mirror. Even a glance told her that the gems sparkling around her neck were not made of paste. “It is too fine, aunt. I cannot —”
“Nonsense. Neither of the girls is old enough to wear it yet, it has not been out of the velvet box in years. My mother would be glad to know that it had a night out.” Her aunt beamed at her through the looking glass, and Elizabeth could not help but smile.
“It is very fine. Thank you, aunt,” she said. In reality, it felt presumptuous to wear such a bauble. She was not a fine lady, not really. Her great-uncle had been the rich one. She was only benefiting from his demise, which made receiving the inheritance all the more uncomfortable.
Not to mention all the men who had been chasing her since they learned of her expected wealth.
