“Of course, we cannot jump to conclusions,” Mr Darcy replied. He still seemed too shocked for words.
Elizabeth could not blame him. She had been so utterly vicious the other day.“I do not suppose you can forgive me,” she stated. When he said nothing to the contrary, she felt her heart sink. Elizabeth stood and smoothed down her skirt, having rarely felt so uncomfortable in all her life. She knew he was the quiet sort, but this was unbearable.“Well, that is all I came to say — ” She meant to flee as fast as her legs could carry her, but she did not get far.
“No, please do not go yet, Miss Elizabeth.” Mr Darcy stood, taking her hand and closing the distance between them. Her heart hammered all the more wildly in her chest.“I know it took much for you to come here and say that today. And I thank you.”
Elizabeth nodded. She felt a sense of relief that she had done her part. But there was more. Even still, Mr Darcy had not demanded to be released from the engagement, as she had thought he surely would after how she had behaved.
She went and sat back down, her fingers slipping out of his grasp. For a moment, she felt a sense of loss, still sensing the tingle where his fingers had touched hers.“The question now is, how we can find out the truth? I know my mother. Even though I cannot deny she could have been involved, she is not so shameless as to be proud of it.”
Mr Darcy cleared his throat.“I must confess, I am surprised by your willingness to pursue the matter. Would not asking these questions make things very difficult at home for you?”
She was touched that he would be worried about her comfort at home.“I have to know the truth, Mr Darcy. If my mother had anything to do with this, then I cannot in good faith ask you to go forward with the wedding. It would be a degradation of the lowest form. To intentionally blackmail a man into marriage —” She shook her head.“I could not abide by it.”
Mr Darcy looked at her in a way she had never seen before.“I respect that, really, I do. However, I can see no reason for you to ruin your life. I will go forward with the wedding, even if your mother did have something to do with it.”
It was Elizabeth’s turn to be astounded.“I confess, I cannot understand that. In essence, a crime would have been committed against you, sir. How could you go forward if we found out that my mother had intended all along to coerce you into the match?”
Her chest heaved with every breath as Mr Darcy took his time in answering. She found she was unsure if she wanted to hear the answer, but longed to know it at the same time. He broke eye contact with her, studying his hands for a moment.“I will not leave you unprotected,” he said. Elizabeth gulped. Why did it seem to mean so much? He had said words to that effect several times since the incident had occurred. Yet now the words held such fervour that she wondered if there was something more to his feelings than societal duty and demands. Could he love her?
No, it was too much to fathom. And did she even want his love? No, surely not. Yet though Elizabeth had not yet forgotten his ungentlemanly insults at the Meryton assembly, she had found there was much to admire in Mr Darcy since then. When she heard him speak so contemptuously, she would never have thought the same man would willingly sacrifice so much for her. Nor could she ever have imagined the proud Mr Darcy apologising for the insult. Yet it would be terrible to enter into marriage with a husband who saw it as a sacrifice.
Elizabeth kept her voice even with an effort.“Do you really think that is a reason to marry someone, simply to protect them?”
Mr Darcy shrugged.“People have married for less, I suppose.”
“Yes. But that is not the kind of marriage I want, Mr Darcy. I do not want to force you into marrying someone you so obviously do not trust.” Elizabeth sighed. “Nor, of course, someone you might have been tricked into compromising.”
Mr Darcy stood and walked a few paces away, his back turned to her. Elizabeth waited a moment, wondering if she had said too much. But she could not very well have him enter into a marriage that he would regret for the rest of his life. She stood as well, meaning to go.“I will leave you, Mr Darcy. I only wanted to come and apologise for my behaviour, and to say that I will try to find a way to learn the truth — even if I must go to my mother and confront her outright.”
Mr Darcy swung around.“Please, stay a moment longer.” He took a steadying breath, again closing the distance between them. “I was wrong to speak harshly when last we met. If there was any misconduct, it was Wickham’s, not yours. Of that, I have not the slightest doubt.”
Elizabeth looked at him in surprise. “You are generous. I assure you, I did not encourage his attentions. But I am sure that it was an unpleasant scene for you to come upon, all the same.”
“That does not make it your fault, nor your responsibility,” he said steadily. “What occurred is entirely of a piece with Wickham’s general behavior. I only hope that you can forgive me for ever acting as though I thought otherwise.”
“Of course,” Elizabeth whispered.“But —”
They stood there for several moments, as motionless as if under a spell, gazing intently into each other’s eyes. And then his gaze travelled down to her lips, and she grew even more nervous. She gave a short laugh.“I forgive you. And I thank you,” she replied, her throat raspy and dry.“Now, I suppose we should refocus our energy to convincing the rest of the community to forgive us as well.” Mr Darcy smiled at her dry wit, and Elizabeth found herself suddenly noticing how close they were. For a moment, she thought he would kiss her. Elizabeth felt her heart pounding. If he did…she did not know what she would do.
Then he let go of her hand and motioned for her to retake her seat.
“Please, I should like to find a way we can find out the truth of your mother’s innocence in the matter,” Mr Darcy said.
Tea arrived a moment later, and their conversation halted as the maid poured the tea, and then left them alone once more. Elizabeth sipped her tea, thankful for a respite from the tension that had pervaded the room.
Mr Darcy took a sip and then set his cup aside.“How shall we prove she had nothing to do with it?” he asked.
She was grateful for the way he phrased his question, as if he already thought her mother was innocent.“I think the only way will be to ask my mother directly.”
“Do you think she would confess? I cannot imagine her wanting to do such a thing when she has gone through all of this trouble, if indeed, she had anything to do with it.”
“I think she might confess, even by accident, if the conditions were right,” Elizabeth mused.“But how could you trust me to report it accurately?”
He studied her for a moment, his eyes piercingly serious in their fervour.“I have no doubt that you would tell the truth. I was quite in earnest when I said that I have no reason to suspect you of dishonour. Indeed, all of your actions thus far have been quite the reverse.” Mr Darcy took up his teacup and saucer and sipped, all the while watching her over the rim.
Elizabeth hardly knew what to say. After all they had been through the last fortnight, he still held her in such high regard? It was almost too good to be true. She was flustered just thinking about it. But as she did not think she could bear to address it directly, she returned to the point at hand. “I think we need to create a situation that will put my mother at ease. Let us imagine she is indeed involved. If we convince her she has already won, she might then think it safe to confess her actions to me. Though I am not quite sure how to give her the necessary confidence.”
Mr Darcy thought for a moment.“I could go to London, allegedly for the purpose of obtaining a special license. I believe I overheard your mother saying that she would like to have the distinction of having a daughter wed by special license. Would that be suitable?”
