I cried myself to sleep, but when I woke up in the morning, I swore it was the last time I'd cry for the men I'd loved so dearly.
Chapter 4
Institute Life
Liora
The beta was right. I did adapt rapidly to the new way of life at the center. It was harsh and hard, but it was a routine that I could fall into and the constant fear of being tapped by one of the guards' electric batons drove thoughts of home out of my mind. Instead, I pushed myself to excel in every class.
"Your posture is terrible!" The instructor yelled, whacking my back with a wooden rod. She glared at me as I tried to fix my position. It was hard. We were all on our hands and knees on cold tile floors, trying to get the perfect position for taking two alphas at once.
I'd done this multiple times with my pack, so why was it so hard to do it right? My back curved in as I jutted my ass out and tilted my head up, stretching my neck.
"No alpha will ever want you," she snorted. "This is why your pack dumped you here."
The words were so common, thrown at us in every class from cooking to omega conversations and pleasing your alpha that they barely registered any longer. I'd been here for three months now and it was obvious that I wouldn't be leaving any time soon if it were up to my instructors.
After class, we filed into the cafeteria to eat our small portion of fish and salad. I'd always been careful to watch my weight because Mace put so much importance on it, but now even he would have to admit I was skinny enough. My omega genes kept my breasts rounded and my hips curved, but apart from that, my bones were sharply visible against skin marked with tiny bruises and burns from the guards.
I was clearing up my plate when a cramp ripped through my abdomen, nearly flooring me. It was all I could do to stand still and breathe through the pain. When it cleared, I moved forward to set my dishes in the bin and then headed to my next class, praying this wasn't the start of my heat.
By the end of Pleasing Your Alpha 101, I was sweating from the pain as cramp after cramp twisted through my insides. The instructor yelled at the beta guards to take me out as I fell forward, the pain too much to bear. I needed a knot. Badly.
The next few hours were spent curled up on a hard bench in the waiting room. Three other omegas wwere in there and the space stunk like pain and heat pheromones. I was relieved when the door opened and cool air rushed in from the garage, but we were just moved to a van, handcuffed to a rail on the wall and driven to the nearest heat den.
The scent of alphas, but not my alphas, wafted to me as the guards opened the doors. One stayed by the van and the other two started to remove our handcuffs and pull us out of the van and into a cool room where more betas waited.
I was in too much pain and dripping sweat to understand what they were saying and finally, the beta assigned to me grabbed my arm and led me to a shower. I was scrubbed down with cold water until I could think clearly again, then followed the beta down the hallway, dressed only in a thin robe.
"This is your room, you'll be sent alphas until you finish your heat," the beta said in a bored voice.
It was no nest. There was nothing soft in this room except the padded mattress covered in vinyl that could be wiped easily. I whimpered and he shut the door, enclosing me in this sterile space that was nothing like my nest back home.
The first alpha came through the door, already shedding his clothes, eyes feral as he took me in. "Off with the robe," he barked, forcing me to strip away the only protection I had.
"Present!" Another bark that pulled painfully at my chest. I'd never been with anyone but my three alphas and the sudden revulsion that overtook me was enough to make me pull away from the alpha even as I presented for him. He didn't care. He just grabbed my hips, pulled me toward him and rammed inside.
My omega instincts had me groaning in relief as he filled me, the cramps instantly diminishing as my body clung to him. My body and hormones wanted him, my mind did not.
In the end, he finished quickly, but we remained knotted for nearly half an hour, his knot stretching me too much since I hadn't been prepared. For the first time, I realized what my alphas meant when they said it was too much work to deal with me. Every heat, they'd had to take time off work and not just knot me a couple of times, but repeatedly. They'd always stretched me gently, warmed me up, prepped me for their knots. I'd never realized how much work that must have been.
When the alpha left, my beta came to clean me up and then another came in. There was a steady stream of alphas for the next six days, until I lay exhausted and completely used up onthe messy mattress, covered in slick and other bodily fluids. While my beta attendant had frequently forced me to drink water and the occasional smoothie, I'd spent nearly the entire time being knotted, with no time to rest or sleep.
With my heat over, I was showered again, dressed in the ORC uniform and put into a room to wait for the van to take me back to the center. I wanted to run, but everyone was handcuffed to a rail along the wall.
"They didn't used to cuff us," one of the other omegas sighed, tugging on the hand encircled by metal. "But some omega faked her heat and took off. Now they want to make sure that doesn't happen again."
"Did they catch her?" I wondered.
"Yeah. But she got a pack while she was out and apparently they took her home." The woman shrugged. "I hope it works out for her."
I couldn't imagine that it would, but maybe. My faith in packs was gone and I didn't care if I spent the rest of my life in the center at this point.
During my heat, the bond had stirred again. Usually, I could keep it blocked off, but with the pain and dealing with everything, my control had slipped and now I was having trouble tamping it down again. I could feel each of the alphas, Mace's irritation at feeling me again, Aiden's curiosity and shame, and Finn's joyful presence that rapidly faded when he must have realized I was with other alphas. Good. Let them feel what other men did to my body because they wanted nothing to do with me.
Leaning against the cool wall, I closed my eyes and tried hard to block them out. Their feelings faded a little and I sighed in relief. Now that I was going back to the center, I didn't want the distraction. Still, the bond was there in the background, even as the beta guards moved us back into the van and we returned to the center.
I climbed the stairs to my room, only to find two new girls there. We nodded at each other and I grabbed my clothing, heading to the showers to scrub away the filthy feeling of my heat. But it was something I could never get rid of.
