“Why the hell are you sitting in the dark, looking at me sleep like a creep?”
I couldn’t help but smile even though she couldn’t see me. “Because I wanted to see you, but you were snoring, so I didn’t won’t to wake you up.”
“I do not snore,” she said, chuckling.
“If you say so.”
“Are you alright?” she asked, her voice full of concern.
“I am now.”
She didn’t say anything, even though the questions were on the tip of her tongue. She wanted to know what happened. Whether Dorian was still alive. Of course, he was because his death would be long and painful. I couldn’t just let him have a simple, peaceful death. Not after everything he did to her.
“You can ask me whatever you want to know.”
I leaned back in the chair, legs spread wide like I wasn’t bracing for impact. But I was. I could feel it coming.
She didn’t look at me right away. Her arms gripped the sheet up around her neck like it would shield her from the impending conversation. A conversation that had been a long time coming.
“And you’ll tell me the truth?” she asked, her voice laced with sarcasm.
I scoffed. “I’ve never lied to you, Seraphina. Not once. Even if you think I have. Even if you’ve convinced yourself that I have.”
She laughed. “Withholding certain things, you think I don’t need to know Sergio, is in fact lying. How do you expect me to trust you? I’ve always loved you, and you’ve used that love against me time and time again. The last time, I almost died and our nephew got kidnapped because I trusted our love when I shouldn’t have.”
I sat up straighter. “Goddamn it! I made a fucking mistake believing what my father told me, Seraphina. And I’ve apologized over and over again for that fucking mistake. You think I wanted you to get hurt?”
“Sergio, when I trust you, believe that what we share is stronger than anything, can withstand anything, you use that trust against me. Against us. Your father is gone now, what’s going to be your excuse next time? I told you something, and you spilled your fucking guts and put my entire family in danger, for what? To get in your father’s good graces?”
“That’s not fair.”
“No,” she said, her voice rising, “what’s not fair is that I loved you. I’ve loved you so much and for so long that I ignored every red flag, every warning sign, every time you took a phone calland walked out the damn door because of your father. And the last time I trusted you, I almost died.”
Her voice cracked on the last word. She didn’t cry. She didn’t need to. The silence that followed was heavier than any tears she’d shed.
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. What was I supposed to say? That I regret it? That I’d do it differently? She wouldn’t believe me, anyway.
She shook her head like she had already heard the excuses forming.
“I’m tired,” she said. “I’m tired of loving someone who thinks love means I’m always going to be around even when it hurts. I can’t do that anymore, Sergio.”
I stood, fists clenched at my sides. “I’m not that man anymore, Seraphina.”
She laughed, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “And why the hell do you think I’ll believe you, Sergio? I love you, but I don’t trust you. And if I can’t trust you, how the hell are we supposed to get past this?”
I slowly stepped closer to her.
“You’re not supposed to believe me,” I said. “Not yet. I don’t expect that. I don’t deserve that.”
She blinked, startled by my response. I didn’t expect her to give into me right away. I needed to earn the right to be in her life again. And I would. I’d been stupid to treat her the way I had because she was right. I expected her to always be around because we loved each other. It clicked when she married someone else that I didn’t deserve her then, but I did now, and I would prove it to her. Even if it took the rest of my life, I would prove to Seraphina that we belonged together. That we were forever.
“But I’m going to earn it,” I continued. “Every damn day. I’ll be the man who doesn’t just say he’s changed, I’m going to prove it to you, Seraphina.”
She didn’t respond, but I didn’t take her silence as rejection.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me tonight. I’m asking you to let me try. Let me show you what love looks like when it’s not about me or getting ahead. I’m not that man anymore, Seraphina.”
She looked at me. War raged behind her eyes. She loved me but that love was buried under layers of hurt and memories, both good and bad.
