“I can’t help you with that Sera. But if you want to be with him, you can’t hold what happened over his head. Let it go. If you don’t, it will ruin both of you.”
“You know Sergio came to my engagement party to stop it?”
Phoenix nodded, her expression unreadable.
“You don’t seem surprised?”
“He’s a Puglisi,” she said. “They don’t ask. They take what they want, and Sergio wouldn’t have wanted you to marry anyone other than him. The man’s obsessed with you. Always has been.” She tilted her head, looking at me. “What happened?”
“I convinced him to let me go. But I didn’t have a choice,” I said, the words bitter on my tongue.
She turned, leaning back against the railing, with her arms folded over her chest. “And why was that?”
I stared out at the gardens. There was so much beauty in the world, intertwined with blood and secrets. No one knew why I married Dorian. Not really. They believed the story I gave them. The polished lie wrapped in rainbows and butterflies. But it was all fake. A lie crafted to keep others safe.
“It’s done and over with now, Sera,” she said, her voice quieter than before. “Dorian is in the past now. Getting everything out there will help you move forward.”
“Are you speaking from experience again?”
She chuckled. “Always. You’ve been right there with me. My life hasn’t been perfect. Full of bullshit because of a man, so I understand. You can tell me the truth.”
She didn’t move or blink just waited.
“At first, Dorian swept me off my feet. I thought he was a good guy, different from Sergio. But things changed.”
“He hid who he was from you,” she said more as a statement, than a question.
I nodded. She understood because her now deceased first husband, Lio D’Amico, had done the same thing to her.
That was one thing I could say about Sergio. What you saw was what you got. To me he was the loving, kind man, who worshipped the ground I walked on. But to everyone else he was ruthless, uncaring. Even to his family, although he loved them in his own way, he cared more about himself.
“The abuse started off verbal,” I said. “He’d bring up Sergio, the Puglisi’s. It was always when he had too much to drink. Like he couldn’t stand the thought of me ever belonging to someone else, especially Sergio. Then he’d cry, beg me to forgive him, swear it would never happen again. And I…” I swallowed hard. “I forgave him. Over and over like an idiot.”
Phoenix’s gaze didn’t waver. “You weren’t an idiot, Sera. You wanted to love him. That doesn’t make you weak. Men like him twist things until you can’t tell where the bruises end and the guilt begins.”
I didn’t respond. We could agree to disagree, but I wouldn’t argue with Phoenix. I’d watched her struggle with Lio, seen the same warning signs with Dorian, and still walked straight into the same storm.
“It got worse,” I said. “The verbal abuse came even when he was sober. And then one day, he didn’t just yell.” I looked down at my hands, remembering the way they trembled anytime he got angry. “He hit me, then rape me. And once that line was crossed, it was like he couldn’t stop. He enjoyed it too much.”
The silence between us stretched. It was heavy and raw.
“He threatened to come after the Puglisi’s. That meant you, Giancarlo, Gianni…”
“And Sergio,” she said, finishing my sentence.
I nodded. “And Sergio. So, I told him I’d marry him if he left my family alone. Then I convinced Sergio that if he didn’t let me go, it would start a war. That his family could be harmed. He could be harmed.”
“You know he didn’t walk away for us, right?” Phoenix asked. “Sergio didn’t give a damn if Dorian went after the family. He walked away for you. He walked away because he didn’t want you to face the consequences of his actions.”
“I know.”
She squeezed my hand. “I don’t like him, but you love him. And as much as it pains me to say it, he loves you, too.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I didn’t think I’d ever doubted Sergio’s feelings for me. What I doubted was whether he could put me first or would I always play second to his ambitions.
“Anyway, whatever you decide, I’ll stand behind you.”
“I don’t know what I want to do.”
