Rachel’s hand landed on my arm, bringing me out of my memory. I didn’t even hear her step outside.
The terrace offered a breathtaking view of the caldera, with moonlight painting the Aegean Sea in strokes of silver. The warm, salty air threaded with the faint scent of grilled lamb drifted up from a tavern a street over. I sat back in the worn wicker chair, trying to make sense of tonight. Trying to make sense of the conversation between Seraphina and Phoenix.
No one knew I was listening. They thought I just stepped away to make a phone call, but I was there the entire time, tucked in the shadows listening to every word Phoenix, Seraphina, and Dorian exchanged when he interrupted their conversation. Eavesdropping wasn’t beneath me. It never had been. I learned early on how to read people. How to survive by watching the way their eyes moved, the way their voices cracked or how they couldn’t keep eye contact when they lied.
Tonight, Seraphina had been quiet. Not just quiet butoff. Her laugh didn’t reach her eyes. She tried her hardest not to shy awayfrom his touch, but I noticed the flinches when he came close to her. Just like when they argued before coming inside.
It had been over a year since we’d spoken, but I still knew her better than she knew herself. And she knew me just as well. That kind of connection didn’t fade no matter how long you were apart.
“You’ve been so quiet and distant since we left your brother’s place.” Rachel slid into my lap, grabbed my tumbler from my hand, and downed what was left of my whiskey. She gazed at me with love that I just didn’t feel.
“Is this about, Seraphina?”
What the fuck did she know about Seraphina? They didn’t even exchange two fucking words at dinner, and that had been Rachel asking if there was a possibility she was pregnant.
The thought of her carrying that motherfucker’s child only made my anger rise even more.
I looked at Rachel like she had two heads because I had no fucking idea what the hell she was talking about. I’d never told her a damn thing about my relationship with Seraphina because it wasn’t her fucking business. It wasn’t anyone’s fucking business but mine and Seraphina’s.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
I’d never raised my voice at Rachel, but this conversation crossed a line she had no fucking right even talking to me about. My relationship with Seraphina was off limits to everyone including her.
She jumped up from my lap. “Don’t talk to me like that,” she hissed, her anger rising. “I only asked a question because Maria just mentioned you guys used to date. She said you were heartbroken about things not working out between you two.”
“Maria should learn to keep her fucking mouth shut about shit she knows nothing about.”
Nobody not even my closest friends knew the ins and outs of our relationship, so why in the fuck would my sister-in-law who I try not to speak one goddamn word to know any fucking thing about my life?
“Sergio, I just wanted to know more about you,” Rachel said. “You’re so closed off and anytime we get close you pull away. And now I know why. You still love her, don’t you?”
“Why are we having this conversation, Rachel?” I gripped the arms of the chair, trying not to lash out at her. “Are we in a relationship or are we not?”
“We are.”
“So, what the fuck do you want from me!”
“I want more, Sergio! I want a future with you. I want to be your wife, a mother to your kids because I love you.”
This wasn’t the first time she said that she loved me, but I couldn’t help that I didn’t feel the same. It wasn’t like I didn’t want to move forward. She was a descent girl. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t just grow to love someone. That shit wasn’t how things worked. You either loved someone, or you didn’t. I didn’t love Rachel. And I never would.
I just stared at her for a few moments because I didn’t know what to tell her. This might be a conversation we needed to have, but I wasn’t in the move to share feelings. I had too much shit on my mind.
Then my phone rang, breaking the intense silence between us. I rose from my seat, picking up the phone from the table, and answering it. It was the news I’d been waiting for.
“I’ll be there in twenty,” I said to Finley.
“You can’t leave,” Rachel said, her anger mounting but she couldn’t stop me. “We haven’t finished this conversation.”
Maybe not but it was done for tonight. I sent Finley to keep an eye on Seraphina and Dorian after the dinner party. Finley relayed to me Dorian had just left after hearing a scream, and Seraphina was alone. Now I could get some fucking answers, and nothing was going to stop that from happening. Not even Rachel.
“If you leave, I won’t be here when you get back. I love you, but if you’re not all in, I can’t do this anymore, Sergio. I deserve better.”
You would think her threat would stop me from walking out on her, but it didn’t. I didn’t give a fuck what she wanted.
“You deserve better, Rachel,” I said. “And I hope you find it because it’s not with me.”
“Sergio…”
