His smile is wide.
We look like a couple who’ll make it.
I look away from it, draw my hand back from the unoccupied pillow, and rest my chin on the fist I curl beneath it as I turn my back to his side of the bed.
I don’t cry.
I’ve cried enough.
I have pain, yes. But I also have aplan.
I have the divorce papers. I am going to reclaim my dignity. I’m not going to be a doormat any longer. I’m going to be someone I can be proud of.
But…the ache in my chest tells me one thing?—
No matter how broken he’s made me feel, Istilllove him.
And that might be the cruelest betrayal of all.
When the bedroom door opens, I close my eyes, pretending to be asleep.
I’ve never done this.
I waited for him, cuddled with him, and talked to him. And, now I realize,forced him to pay attention to me.
I hear the gentle click of the handle, the faint shuffle of his bare feet on the carpet.
Aiden. He moves quietly, like he thinks I might be asleep. Or maybe he’s hoping I am?
He goes into the bathroom. I hear the sounds of the shower, the toothbrush, of Aiden—familiar sounds, routine, intimate.
Will I miss this in two nights?
Those are the number of nights we have left together.
Tonight.
Tomorrow night.
And then it’s Christmas Eve, when we’ll open presents after dinner, as is the Winter tradition. The kids get their presentsbeforedinner so they can be put to bed right after they finish eating—shuttled off with nannies who don’t get Christmas off.
That’s when I will end this.
Aiden slips under the covers beside me, his body warm and familiar, and somehow, because of that kiss I saw him sharing with Diana, cold and strange.
I used to turn toward him, automatically. My cheek would find his chest, his arm would wrap around my waist. I’d exhale like I’d come home.
I don’t move now. I lie there, tense, facing away.
A moment passes. Two.
Then his hand rests lightly on my hip.
“Mia,” he murmurs, voice low. He shifts closer, his body curling around mine.
His fingers brush the bare skin at my waist, under the edge of my sleep shirt.
His mouth finds the curve of my neck, presses a kiss there. Soft. Tentative.
