The temperature in the room drops ten degrees and Ivy goes still beside me.
"You know what?" Her voice is deadly. "Don't bother with the speech. Isn't this the part where you usually leave anyway?"
"Babe—"
"This was just once, right?" She sits up, wrapping the shirt around herself like armor. "So congratulations. You got what you wanted."
"That was before—" I stop, realizing too late what I've admitted.
"Before what, Caleb? Before you realized I've been in love with you for years? Before you figured out I was pathetic enough to wait around for you?" Her voice cracks. "God, I'm so stupid."
"Ivy, I didn't—"
"You knew! But you had to go and mess it up. Like you always do."
"Wow, tell me how you really feel," I snap, because clearly I can't stop making this worse.
"You want to know?" She stands, all that hurt flaring into something hotter. "I was angry at you.Furious.And I still wanted you, still let you . . ." Her voice cracks. "God, what does that say about me? You're so afraid to try, to grow the hell up, that you'll spend the rest of your life stuck. Running from anything real because god forbid someone actually expect something from you."
"Yeah?" My voice sharpens. "Better than being delusional. Following signs that don't mean shit, believing the universe has some master plan when you're just—"
"Just what?" Her eyes flash. "Just the idiot who keeps cleaning up your messes? Who's always there when you need someone to fix your life because you can't get it together enough to—"
"To what, Ivy? To live in your little fairytale, where moon water fixes everything, and sage makes bad decisions disappear? Christ, you light a fucking candle and think you've solved world hunger. It's embarrassing."
"Stop." Her voice breaks.
"Why? Because I'm ruining the fantasy? Wake up. Your moon phases or planets didn't predict this shitshow. Your tarot cards didn't warn you I'd be a disappointment. Because it's all just pretty Instagram bullshit for people who can't handle reality."
"Congratulations." Her laugh is bitter. "You finally said what you're truly thinking. That I'm just some sad girl playing a witch because real life is too hard. Well guess what, Caleb? At least I'm trying to besomething. You're twenty-six years old and yourbiggest accomplishment is not getting fired from a pizza place. Your brother got married while you're still figuring out how to do your own laundry. You're not a man, you're not even a boy—you're just . . . nothing."
"Jesus, Ivy."
"You wanted honesty, and now you have it. I wasted years thinking you'd grow up. Years of me watching you fuck half the town while I sat there like some lovesick idiot waiting for you to notice me. And when you finally did? This is what I get."
"Yeah? Well I never asked to be your fucking charity case. Never asked you to waste your life trying to manifest me into Prince Charming with your crystals and good vibes. What's next, gonna burn some sage to cleanse yourself of the disappointment? Light a candle to call in a better man? Face it, Ivy, your magic doesn't work. It never fucking worked."
"God, you're such a child. Even now you can't be fully honest. You're only tearing apart everything I am because you can't handle the fact that you actually felt something. Everyone was right about you, and I was too stupid to listen."
Her voice breaks on the last word, tears starting, and fuck—I went too far.
"Ivy—"
"Just go." Her voice is so quiet, so broken. "Please just go."
"Look, I didn't mean—"
"Get. Out."
I pull up my jeans, grab my shirt and keys. Everything in me screams to stay, to fix this, to take back every word. But I can't. Because she's right. About all of it. The door closes behind me with devastating finality, and I know I'm walking away from the only real thing I've ever had.
I'm the reason she's crying.Me.I did this to her. To the one person who saw something in me worth believing in. The sound of herbroken voice keeps replaying, each word a fresh knife twisting in my chest.
Fuck.
My hands shake as I fumble with my keys. I can hear her crying through the door. Quiet, devastating sobs that make me want to put my fist through the wall. Through my own face. Anything to make it stop.
I should go back. Should get on my knees and beg her to forgive me. Should tell her I didn't mean any of it, that I was just scared and stupid andso fucking terrifiedof how much I need her that I had to destroy it before she could.
