Ethan just looked at me, with those eyes that had once made me feel so safe, but were now filled with uncertainty. His jaw was clenched, and I could see the internal struggle written all over his face. He was trying to keep it together, to not let the doubt that Sebastian had sown take root, but I could tell it was taking everything he had.
“How long have you been standing there?” I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper. The silence between us was suffocating, thick with tension and unspoken fears.
“Long enough,” he replied, his voice low and strained. There was a tightness to his tone that I hadn’t heard before, and it made my heart ache.
I winced, guilt gnawing at me. “Ethan, whatever you saw, it wasn’t what you think,” I rushed to explain, taking a step closer to him, but he didn’t move. “Sebastian . . . he’s just trying to get under your skin. He knows how much you mean to me, and he’s doing everything he can to ruin that.”
Ethan looked away, his gaze shifting to the ground as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “And it’s working, Vinnie. Damn it, it’s working.”
The raw honesty in his voice cut through me like a knife. This was exactly what I had feared—that Sebastian would find a way to wedge himself between us, to poison the trust and the connection that Ethan and I had built together. And here we were, with that wedge firmly in place.
I reached out, my hand hovering just inches from his arm, desperate to bridge the gap that was growing between us. The thought of having this conversation out in the open, where anyone could walk by and see us, made my stomach twist with anxiety. I needed to get him inside, to make sure he wouldn’t just turn around and leave.
“Ethan,” I said softly, my voice trembling slightly, “can we go inside the gallery? I don’t want to do this out here.”
He hesitated, his eyes searching mine as if he was trying to decide whether to stay or walk away. For a moment, I feared that he might choose the latter, that he might let Sebastian’s shadow linger between us. But, after a long pause, he nodded, and I led him into the gallery, closing the door behind us.
The familiar scent of paint and wood filled the air, the dim lighting casting long shadows across the room. It felt safer here, more intimate, but also more vulnerable, and when I turned to face him, the distance between us was like a chasm.
“Ethan, please,” I began, my voice carrying the weight of the emotions I’d been holding back. “You know how much I care about you. Sebastian . . . he’s just a part of my past, a past that I left behind.You’remy present.You’rethe one I want to be with.”
He let out a shaky breath, finally meeting my gaze again, and his eyes were filled with so much emotion—hurt, confusion, and something else I couldn’t quite place. “I want to believe that, Vinnie. I really do. But seeing him with you, hearing the way he talked to you . . .”
“Don’t doubt us,” I pleaded, my voice breaking. “Please, don’t let him get between us! What we have, it’sreal, Ethan. It’s theonlything that feels real to me!”
His eyes softened at my words, and I could see the struggle playing out in his mind. There was so much unsaid between us, so many fears that neither of us had fully voiced, and I could sense the weight of his insecurities, the doubt creeping in despite the love that had been growing between us.
As we stood in the quiet of the gallery, I wanted him to understand how much he meant to me, how desperately I wanted to make this work. But instead of easing his mind, my words seemed to stirsomething darker within him. He looked down, his brow furrowing as if he was trying to piece together his own thoughts.
“Do you . . . do you still love him, Vinnie?” His question hung in the air between us, thick with vulnerability. He didn’t look at me when he asked it, his voice barely more than a whisper.
The question caught me off guard and, for a split second, I hesitated. Not because I still loved Sebastian, but because I was trying to find the right words to say that would make Ethan believe that. But that hesitation, that tiny moment of silence, was all it took for his doubt to harden into something more.
His gaze lifted to meet mine, and the pain in his eyes was unmistakable. “I feel like I’m losing you before I even really had a chance,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “When I saw him out there, I knew this would happen. I can’t compete with Sebastian. He’s got the charm, the history with you . . . everything. And here I am, just the guy who stepped in when he messed up.”
“Ethan, no—” I started, but he cut me off, the words spilling out of him in a rush, as if he’d been holding them back for too long.
“I saw the way he looked at you, Vinnie,” he continued, his voice trembling with frustration and fear. “And I saw the way you reacted when he hugged you. It’s clear that there’s still something there. I just . . . I adore you, Vinnie, and I’ve put everything I have into us. But I can’t keep hoping to be enough for you if your heart isn’t fully here with me. If it still belongs to Sebastian.”
The raw honesty of his words cut deep. He wasn’t just lashing out. He was genuinely afraid, and that fear was pushing him to the brink. I opened my mouth to speak, to reassure him, but nothing came out. The truth was, I had no idea how to untangle the mess of emotions that Sebastian had stirred up by showing up here. I wanted to tell Ethan that he was the one Iwanted, the one who mattered most, but the heaviness in the room made it feel like anything I said would fall flat.
Ethan mistook my silence for confirmation of his worst fears. His shoulders slumped, the fight seeming to drain out of him. “Vinnie,” he said, his voice soft and trembling, “I love you. And I’ve never said that to anyone before, but I mean it with everything I am. You’ve become such an important part of my life, and I need you to know how much you mean to me. But please, don’t say it back unless you’re absolutely sure. I need to know that, when you say it, you’re all in, with no doubts and no hesitations.”
My heart broke at the raw vulnerability in his voice, and I wanted so desperately to tell him I loved him, too. But the moment felt wrong, tainted by the tension between us, and the ghost of Sebastian still lingering in the air. If I said it now, I knew he wouldn’t believe I truly meant it. The words would feel hollow, a desperate attempt to soothe the pain rather than a genuine confession.
“I can’t,” I whispered, my voice cracking under the weight of the emotion. “Not like this, Ethan. Not when everything feels so . . . complicated.”
His expression faltered, and the hope drained from his eyes as he nodded slowly, his face a mixture of heartbreak and resignation. “I just want you to be happy, Vinnie,” he murmured, leaning in to press a soft kiss to my forehead. “No matter what. Do what you feel is right.”
Before I could say anything more, Ethan turned and walked out of the gallery, leaving me standing there alone, the echoes of his confession hanging heavy in the air, and I watched him go, my heart splintering at the sight of the pain in his eyes. The realization that I was losing him—maybe even pushing him away—was a sharp, aching pain that I hadn’t been prepared for. I wanted to chase after him, to tell him that I was ready to love him with everything I had. But instead, I stood there, frozen, as the weight of the situation bore down on me.
Chapter 26
ICURLED UP ON THE COUCH, wrapped in a thick blanket, the soft crackling of the fire the only sound in the room. The warmth from the flames should’ve been comforting, but it barely touched the cold knot in my chest. I had cancelled my lunch with Amelia and Ivy, unable to face their concerned questions, unable to put into words the tangled mess of emotions I was still trying to sort through. Even my mom’s text, which would normally have made my day, couldn’t lighten the heartache that weighed me down.
The words had been enough to bring tears to my eyes, not just because they were so unexpected, but because they made me realizehow far I’d come on my own. Yet, they also reminded me of how much I still had to figure out.
Where exactly had Ethan’s insecurity come from? Was it really just about Sebastian? Or was there something deeper, something from his past that he hadn’t shared with me? The thought nagged at me, making me feel even more adrift, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to his reaction. That something had triggered this deep-seated fear in him. But without knowing what it was, I felt powerless to fix it.
