He was worried that maybe I had rushed into this with him, and the way I spoke about Sebastian during our late-night conversation had only added to his unease. I hadn’t meant to, but maybe I’d been too careful, too measured in my words, trying to downplay how deeply Sebastian had oncebeen woven into my life. Ethan had picked up on that, and it had made his confidence waver.
He’d confided in me that he’d never felt this way about anyone before—that he hadn’t evendatedmuch, because he’d been waiting for the right person. Someone who made him feel like this was where he was meant to be. And now, with everything moving so quickly between us, he couldn’t help but worry that maybe I hadn’t had enough time to process my break up, and my quick move from Cresden. That maybe I wasn’t as sure as he was. The thought that it all might be too much, too soon, seemed to linger at the edges of his mind, and I wanted so desperately to make him believe that Sebastian didn’t matter anymore, that the only person who had any power over my heart was him. The fire crackled, and a log splitting open with a loud pop pulled me out of my thoughts. I blinked, focusing on the present moment, where the world felt simple and good.
Caroline was chatting with her sister-in-law, Susana, their voices low and warm. Across the fire, Lily was chasing after one of her cousins, their giggles floating through the air, while Robert kept a close eye on the kids, occasionally waving them back when they got too close to the fire. The scene was idyllic, a perfect snapshot of family and togetherness, and it was exactly what I needed to pull myself back from the edge of those darker thoughts.
When I shifted in Ethan’s arms, he must have caught the lingering tension in my expression because his hand squeezed my shoulder gently, and I looked up to find his gaze fixed on me, concern etched in his features.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice low.
“Yeah,” I whispered back, the word feeling truer now than it had a few moments ago. “Just thinking.”
He nodded, but I could see the question in his eyes. “About what?” he asked.
I hesitated, not wanting to risk dampening the moment. But before I could answer, one of Ethan’s cousins, Derik, called out to him from across the fire. “Hey, Ethan! You still owe me that hiking trip you promised this summer! Remember? The one that got cancelled because you broke your leg?”
Ethan chuckled, the sound light and easy as he glanced over at Derik. “I haven’t forgotten, man. We’ll make it happen before the first snow, I promise.”
As he looked back at me, something in my expression must have given away where my thoughts had drifted.
“Are you thinking about him?” he asked quietly, careful not to let the conversation carry past us, though the fire’s crackling would drown out anything we said.
I sighed. “Maybe a little,” I admitted, turning my gaze back to the flames. “It’s just . . . everything’s been a lot lately. I thought I’d put him behind me, but then his name popped up, and it’s like . . .”
“Like he’s still here, even though he shouldn’t be,” Ethan finished for me, his voice calm, but tinged with something deeper.
I nodded, appreciating his understanding. “Yeah, exactly. It’s like there’s this tiny gap between us that he’s still managing to wedge himself into.”
Ethan’s fingers traced slow circles on my arm, his touch grounding me. “Vinnie,” he said softly, “we don’t have to let him have any more space in our lives than he already has. He’s your past, and I get that, but I’m your present. And hopefully . . . your future, too.”
The sincerity in his voice made my chest tighten, and I looked up at him, my heart swelling with affection for this man who had become so important to me. “You are,” I said, the words carrying a weight of truth. He smiled, his eyes softening as he leaned down to press a tender kiss to my lips.
But a part of me couldn’t shake the feeling that Sebastian’s appearance in my life again, even in this distant, shadowy form, was a desperate attempt to get my attention. He had always been possessive, never able to let things go easily. I had blocked him on everything, cutting off all communication, so how could he reach me now?
Even if he had somehow managed to find out about the gallery, and donated to get my attention, the act of drawing his name—three times in a row—was something beyond even Sebastian’s control. It felt too coincidental, too strange, and the thought gnawed at the edges of my mind. I wanted to let it go, to believe that it was just some bizarre fluke, but the uncertainty lingered, a stubborn whisper in the back of my mind.
Just then, Lily’s voice broke through my thoughts as she came bounding over, her eyes bright with excitement. “Ethan, can we roast marshmallows now, please?” she begged, tugging at his hand.
“Sure thing, Lil. Let’s get those marshmallows roasting.” He turned to me, a question in his eyes. “You coming?”
I managed a smile, needing a moment to collect myself. “I’ll join you in a bit,” I said, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “Just need to use the bathroom first.”
Ethan nodded, giving me one last look before Lily tugged him back to the fire, her voice bubbling with excitement about the perfect way to toast a marshmallow. I watched them for a moment, and something deep inside me shifted, like a lock clicking into place. As I saw him kneel down to her level, showing her exactly how to hold the marshmallow without burning it, the realization hit me with a quiet but undeniable force.
I was in love with him.
The wordlovelingered in my mind, taking shape in a way that felt both new and inevitable. It wasn’t just about the way he was with Lily, though that played a part. It was everything about him. The way he made me feelseen and valued, the gentle way he touched me, like he was always careful with my heart. The way he could make me laugh, even when I didn’t feel like it, and how he was there for me, steady and reliable, no matter what.
Watching him now, with the firelight dancing in his eyes and that easy smile on his face, I realized that Ethan had become my safe place, the person I wanted to share my life with in every way that mattered. The love I felt wasn’t just about passion or excitement. It was something deeper, something that had been growing quietly, day by day, until it was undeniable.
I’d always worn my heart on my sleeve, diving headfirst into love with an intensity that often left me breathless. But after everything with Sebastian, I’d found myself hesitating, afraid of losing myself in love again. That kind of consuming, all-encompassing love had taken so much from me before, leaving me shattered in ways I never wanted to experience again.
But with Ethan, it was different. Loving him didn’t feel like losing myself. It felt like finding something I didn’t even know I was missing. It wasn’t a risk. It was a return to something true and steady. The thought filled me with a warmth that spread through my chest, leaving me breathless and a little overwhelmed, but in the best possible way. It was love, but it was safe and secure—a love that let me be myself, without fear of losing who I was. With Ethan, love felt like home.
I stepped inside the house, the warmth of the fire fading as the cool air wrapped around me. My thoughts were a jumble, swirling with everything I’d just realized about Ethan and how much he meant to me. I wanted to show him, to let him know just how deep my feelings ran, and how much I wanted to push past the doubts and uncertainties that Sebastian’s sudden reappearance had stirred up. Ethan had done so much to make me feel safe and loved, and I wanted to do the same for him.
As I walked down the hallway, lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice Caroline until I nearly bumped into her.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed, jolting back to reality as I stepped aside. Caroline smiled warmly, her eyes crinkling at the corners in that familiar, motherly way.
