All of them fuelled by fear.
Still, in this moment, my joints tight, muscles screaming, head pounding, fear making my heart hammer, he’s all I want.
He’s all I ever want.
All I’ve ever wanted.
There is safety even in his horror.
‘I love you more than any soul has ever loved another.’
I believe it, every word.
Feel it.
I swing my legs over the side of the bed, bare feet hitting the rug, and I’m instantly cold. Freezing, as I step off of the carpet onto the wood, the fireplace dark, nothing but hot ash behind the grate. I grab a floor length silk gown off the back of the chair, quickly pulling it on over my short black nightdress.
Hurrying across the huge room, my fingertips pause on the gold doorhandle, and instead of opening it, I’m leaning in, pressing my ear against the door, listening.
I think of last time, another night just like this, and goosebumps prickle my flesh.
Fear clenches my stomach, speaking in a language older than reason, a whisper beneath the skin, the first sound I ever learned to understand. I hold my breath, my ear flush with the door. Predictably, I hear nothing through the thick wood, still, something in my gut warns me to move slowly. My hand is shaking, my teeth chattering, and I worry what I’m going to find in the large open space of our sitting room.
Alone again.
Unprotected.
I pause, taking in a steadying breath, and tip-toe run back to Billy’s side of the bed. I’m silent as I open his bedside drawer, lifting the drawer up a little as I pull on the filigree gold handle, trying to stop anything rattling around inside. I stare down at it, the smooth matte black, and even in the dark, the 9mm looks too big for my small hands. But I take it in hand all the same, checking it’s loaded, and head back to the door.
Chapter 16
BILLY
Sickly sweet perfume floods my nostrils, strong and overwhelming, making my nose twitch. My forearm is barred across her throat, my other above her head, bracketing her in as I press my body against hers.
She squirms beneath me, her cheeks reddening with the loss of breath, but she still stares up at me, trying to flutter her lashes over bulging blue eyes.
And she’s still trying to fucking talk.
“Come on, baby,” she croaks out, turning her head to the side, gasping for a breath not deep enough to really breathe, but clearly, even a lack of oxygen won’t deter her. “You know how good I can be.”
Head tilted just slightly, I lift a single brow, my upper lip lifting on the same side in a curl of disgust.
I don’t know how good she can be.
And I don’t want to find out.
“Imogen,” I say quietly, leaning in, my lips brushing her cheek, “I told you no once before.”
I pull back just slightly, my arm still applying too much pressure to her windpipe, yet she still wriggles beneath me like she thinks we’re playing some sort of game. Like she thinks letting me do this to her will put ideas in my head of all the ways I could fuck her. When in reality, I’m wondering how much harder I’d have to press to snap her fucking neck.
“So I’m only going to say this once more,nicely.”
“You don’t have to be nice to me,” she smiles, her red lipstick smudging as she rubs her mouth against my arm in an attempt to turn back to face me fully, my hold on her not quite allowing it. “I’m a bad girl; I can take it.” She licks over her top teeth, pushing her chest out, her breasts pressing against my bare chest, my black button-up shirt hanging open. “You can hurt me and I’ll like it.” She smiles again, too many teeth to be sincere, and I think about removing them one by one.
A different technique for every tooth.
I wonder if Nellie would like to help.
