CHAPTER NINETEEN
The moment Blockopened his door, Blak pushed past him with a frown on his face. “You still acting like a hoe?”
Block returned the frosty look. “Nigga, you the only one acting like a hoe. You need to get your mind right before you end up pissing me off.” Block was dead serious. All the antics since Averi’s shooting were getting old. He tried to be patient with his cousin, but the shit was starting to get on his nerves. Not to mention, he’d gone three days without lean or pills before he folded. The moment he tossed the Roxi into his mouth, Symphony’s voice rang in his ears. He wasn’t a fucking addict. Or maybe he was. Block was disgusted with his damn self. But that didn’t stop him from swallowing the pill.
As soon as he started to feel the effects of the narcotic, his mood instantly improved. If the medication didn’t do anything else, it numbed the emotions that he didn’t care to feel. Blak plopped down on the couch and scrubbed a hand down his face.
“This shit is crazy. How the hell does a female have me to the point where it’s hard to function? I’m not ever trying to feel this shit again.”
Block sat down and took a sip of the cognac that was in his cup. Even if he didn’t admit it out loud, he felt the same way.He wanted nothing more than to go to Symphony’s house and tell her he was sorry but as long as he was still abusing pills, there was no need to go bothering her. He had seen her in action with her sister, and he hated that he was careless enough to let her find out about his habit. Even when she was pissed off and snapping on him, Monique, and Blak, he could see the pain in her eyes. All she wanted was for her sister to get it together. How could he insert himself into her life knowing he was doing the same messed up thing as Monique?
“We just need to keep our head in the game and get to this money,” Block asserted. “We’re getting down to the wire. My pops will be home soon, and I’m out this shit. If you want it, I’m passing the torch to you, and you know you have to get it together if you decide to fill my shoes.”
“I know,” Blak agreed. “I’m good. I was fucked up, but I’m good now. Money is the motive. I’m gon’ let Averi live her life and do her. I don’t need to be in a relationship right now. I gotta stack this bread and get my mind right.”
It sounded good, and Block hoped he meant it. He knew his cousin was in love with Averi. Shit, he almost felt like he was in love with Symphony. She’d been the best thing to happen to him in a minute, and it was too short-lived for his liking. Maybe it just wasn’t the time for him to get in too deep with a woman. Maybe once his father was home and he was out of the game, he’d be dealing with less stress, and it would be easier for him to let go of certain things. That sounded too much like an excuse, and all he could do was shake his head at himself.
“You coming to Miami?” Block asked before taking another sip of cognac. Lethal had a match coming up, and Block planned to be there front row and center to support his brother.
“Hell yeah, I’m going to Miami. Matter fact, let me book my flight right now,” Blak removed his cell phone from his pocket.
Block was preaching to his cousin all while knowing that his head wasn’t one hundred percent in the game either.
“Have you talked to Symphony?”
“Nah, I haven’t.” Block responded dryly.
“Damn. I did want to apologize to her. I know that shit was out of pocket. At the end of the day, it’s still fuck Monique, but I didn’t have to slap her.”
Symphony wasn’t a subject that Block wanted to discuss. When he didn’t respond, Blak figured that something had happened, and he didn’t probe. If Block wanted to talk about it, he would. Seeing as how his cousin had never introduced a woman to the family, he knew Block had to be feeling Symphony. Whatever transpired between the two of them, Blak hoped it wasn’t because of his actions.
“I’m going to go scoop Mario later. Take him to the park to play some ball,” Blak announced making Block give a curt nod.
“Good shit.”
“You know that lil’ nigga still pouting because you’re mad at him.”
Running a hand over his waves, Block gave his cousin an indifferent look. “He’ll be aight. Mario isn’t a little kid. He knows the fuck shit he’s out here doing isn’t right. He just doesn’t care, and if he doesn’t care then I don’t care. I’m gon’ let him do him. When he gets his mind right, he can holla at me.”
“I feel you on that. I think he’s starting to see the light. His moms told him if he gets in trouble one more time he’s getting out of her house.”
“Better get his lil’ ass a room ready at your crib then, ‘cus he’s for sure going to get in trouble again.”
Standing, Blak shook his head. “Man, Tech needs to hurry up and come home.”
“My sentiments exactly,” Block murmured.
After giving his cousin dap, Blak walked to the door and showed himself out. Block stared at the remaining liquid in his glass and resisted the urge to close his eyes and take a nap. He shouldn’t have mixed cognac with pain medication, but he did. He was smart enough to know that whatever he was going through, he needed to figure it out and get a handle on it. Being calm, relaxed, and numb felt great, but if it was at the expense of addiction, he was going to have to learn how to do without.
The same way he chastised Mario for using weed to cope with anxiety, he should have been telling himself the same thing about using drugs to cope with stress. Especially drugs that could take him through mean withdrawals when he decided to quit. Block didn’t think he was that far gone just yet, but since he started, he hadn’t gone more than three full days without either lean or prescription pills. Picking up his glass, he drained the alcohol from it and stood up. He had shit to do and money to make. All this sulking and trying to figure out life shit would have to wait.
“Shit!” Averi hissed as she hit her pinky toe on the corner of the bed. She’d been making it when the doorbell rang. Pain shot through her toe as she walked to the door with flaring nostrils.
Seeing a delivery man on the other side of the door holding a large vase filled with pink roses made her brows hike. She forgot all about the pain as she smiled at him and signed for the flowers. Taking them from him, Averi swallowed down a lump. They could only be from one person. She was sick of the up and down shit with Blak. Averi had never been good with back and forth. Either they were on or they weren’t. All the extra stuff, she wasn’t beat for.
She had spent the last month waiting to miscarry, and it hadn’t happened. If a bullet to her body couldn’t make her lose the baby, she refused to let stress do it. The situation with Blak was something she wasn’t going to put too much time and energy into. Her child came first. Averi placed the vase on the kitchen counter and pulled the envelope from the plastic holder.
I know you’re sick of my shit, ‘cus I’m sick of my shit. I miss you, Averi. On God I do. I just want to know what I have to do to make it right. I know the first step is growing the fuck up. – Justin.
