‘Well, speaking of acting genes, I’ve been thinking I should get a proper job.’ Sive lobbed the hand grenade in and sat back, waiting for the barrage of protest she knew would come. Her sisters didn’t disappoint.
‘No!’ Mimi exclaimed, horrified. ‘You can’t do that.’
Aoife was shaking her head. ‘No. Absolutely not.’
‘But there’s no way I can afford a baby on an actress’s salary. And what about during my pregnancy? I’ll probably be offVital Signsnow.’ There had been talk of expanding her role as a junior doctor in the next season of the popular hospital drama, but she could just as easily be written out.
‘They can’t fire you for being pregnant!’ Aoife protested. ‘That’s against the law.’
‘Come on, we all know that’s not true. Unfortunately, we have one of the few jobs where it’s perfectly legitimate to drop you because you’re pregnant.’
‘But they write in pregnancies for characters all the time,’ Mimi said. ‘They can have you standing behind furniture, cuddling up to cushions and holding random objects in front of you.’
‘And give you lots of close-ups,’ Aoife added.
‘Or your character could just get fat or develop a sudden penchant for baggy jumpers and wearing coats indoors. There are loads of ways they can get around it.’
‘If I was a big star or one of the main characters, maybe. But they’re not likely to bother for a secondary character that they can easily recast or just write out.’
‘Well, maybe you’ll have had the baby by the time they start filming season two.’
‘And your first trimester, you’ll be doing the show at Halfpenny Lane.’
‘We could change our next show,’ Mimi said, drumming her fingers on the table. ‘What plays have a pregnant woman in them?’
‘Oh, you could play Hermione inA Winter’s Tale,’ Aoife said.
‘Or Stella inStreetcar.’ Mimi’s eyes widened excitedly. ‘Bags I be Blanche if we do that.’
‘You should talk to Lorna too and get her to put you forward for more voice work. And there’s also audiobook narration. I know several actors who have their own recording set-up at home.’
‘That’s a good idea.’ Sive would need to inform her agent of her condition as soon as possible.
‘Anyway, poor people have babies all the time,’ Mimi said. ‘Look at Mrs Cratchit.’
‘Well, that’s hardly an encouraging example. I don’t want to be like Mrs Cratchit, scrimping and saving all the time and only having a tiny goose for Christmas.’
‘A goose! You should be so lucky,’ Mimi said. ‘Have you any idea how much goose costs these days? Things have changed since Scrooge’s day.’
‘It’ll be even worse then. We’ll just be having a tin of beans for Christmas. And what if my child ends up like Tiny Tim?’
‘No one ends up like Tiny Tim anymore,’ Mimi said dismissively. ‘Like I said, times have changed.’
‘Children still get sick. What if it needs an operation that I can’t afford?’
‘It can go to a public hospital like the rest of us. This is starting to sound like a very demanding baby you’re planning to have.’
‘But what if it had some rare disease and there was a breakthrough treatment in America that would cure it if I just had enough money to pay for it?’
‘You could do a crowdfunder?’ Mimi suggested. ‘Anyway, calm down. You’re thinking too far ahead and freaking out about imaginary scenarios that’ll probably never happen.’
‘You can’t know that.’
‘No. Just like I can’t know that you won’t meet a billionaire tomorrow who wants to marry you and raise your child as his own.’ She sighed and shot Sive a sympathetic look. ‘Look, I know we’re being flip about it. But seriously, don’t worry about money, and please don’t even think about giving up acting. Lots of actresses have children and they manage just fine.’
Sive drew breath to argue.
‘And I don’t just mean Hollywood A-listers,’ Mimi added before Sive could say anything.
