‘I don’t think we were ever destined to be like that.’ Ben had been her oldest friend, the only person from school who was still in her life. She hadn’t felt it when they were together, but now she thought that perhaps they were never meant to be a forever thing. They’d shared so many firsts – first kiss, first formal dance when they’d gone to each other’s debs, first sex. But maybe that was all it was ever meant to be – a starter relationship, a first love that they could look back on fondly in later years when they’d moved on to other people – as Benalready had. Perhaps they’d just let it go on too long, settled into a cosy domesticity far too early.
‘Well, plenty more fish in the sea,’ Mimi said. ‘And maybe next time you could go for someone who speaks.’
‘And likes the theatre,’ Aoife added.
‘Maybe even works in the theatre?’ Mimi said with a sly smile, clearly hinting at Sam.
‘Who knows?’ Sive smiled, feeling warm and fuzzy at the thought of Sam.
Mimi threw her head back and let the last drop of sambuca drain slowly into her mouth. She licked the sweet, sticky liquid from her lips and wiped her cupid’s bow mouth with the back of her hand. ‘Well, I must be away,’ she said, uncrossing her legs and standing in one fluid, graceful movement. ‘Sorry to be such a wimp.’ She raised her arms above her head and stretched her back extravagantly in a feline motion. ‘But I need to keep my strength up.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Sive said, standing. ‘It was great to see you and have a proper catch-up.’ Soon rehearsals for their production ofA Christmas Carolwould begin and then Mimi would be burning the candle at both ends, rehearsing one show during the day and performing in another at night. It was a punishing schedule that required stamina, and you needed to take care of yourself physically.
Mimi pulled out her phone and called a cab and it arrived a couple of minutes later. She grabbed her bag and pulled on her beautiful vintage leopard-skin coat – an opening night gift from Rocco.
‘Give our love to Rocco,’ Sive said as Mimi embraced her and she was enveloped in a waft of warm perfume.
‘Will do,’ she said, hugging Aoife in turn.
Aoife started picking up glasses and Sive walked to the door with Mimi, pulling her cardigan tighter around herself. It wasa cold night, September announcing itself with a blast of wind that meant business, as if it was rolling up its sleeves and getting stuck into its job of stripping the trees of their leaves.
‘Break a leg tomorrow!’ Mimi called, turning to her at the gate. ‘Break both!’ She waved and blew Sive a kiss before climbing into the cab and driving off.
They were in the process of castingA Christmas Carol, and Sive had an audition tomorrow for the part of Belle, young Scrooge’s sweetheart. Even if she didn’t get that role, it was going to be a large cast and she was confident there’d be a place for her, even if only as one of the ensemble. But Sam was making his stage debut as young Scrooge, and it would be fun to play opposite him. She could help him find his feet as an actor, and she had to admit that the opportunity to flirt a little while hiding behind her character was appealing. So her heart was set on playing Belle.
She closed the door against the chilly night and returned to the living room. She put the guard in front of the fire and picked up the remaining glasses, bringing them through to the kitchen, where Aoife was stacking the dishwasher.
‘Let’s leave the rest until the morning,’ Sive said, placing the glasses on the worktop.
‘You go on up,’ Aoife said. ‘I’ll finish this.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Of course. You must be exhausted. You’ve barely slept for the last month. And you want to be at your best for your audition tomorrow.’
‘Okay. Night, then.’ Sive smiled gratefully. She was bone weary and looking forward to her first lie-in for weeks.
The house felt so quiet as Sive went upstairs to bed. It seemed strange not to be calling goodnight to Mimi as she passed herbedroom, aware of the quiet emptiness behind its closed door.And then there were two, she thought, a wave of melancholy washing over her.
As she got into bed, she felt a pang that there was no Marlowe sticking his head around her door and nosing his way in, jumping up on the bed to knead her legs and demand rubs. While Marlowe was Mimi’s cat, he didn’t play favourites and he’d divided his time equally between the three of them, happy to accept adoration from whoever was available to provide it.
Hearing Aoife moving around downstairs brought a sense of comfort, but it was only a matter of time before she’d move out too. She was already spending more time at Jonathan’s place, and the only reason they weren’t living together yet was because he was still sharing an apartment with Sam while letting the house he owned in Sandymount. Once his tenant’s lease was up, Aoife would move in there with him. That would just leave Sive here in their childhood home. What would happen then? She could hardly go on living alone in a house that belonged to the three of them.
Her heart ached in anticipation, already missing the life she and her sisters had shared here since their parents died – cooking together, unwinding over meals and bottles of wine around the kitchen table, swapping clothes and make-up and late-night confidences. She loved the whole effortless choreography of their life together and she felt lost, cast adrift at the thought of losing it.
They’d still see each other all the time, of course. They were best friends, and nothing would ever change that. But it wouldn’t be the same. She knew it was inevitable that everyone would move on eventually, form new ties and have families of their own. But so much had changed already in the last couple of years, and Sive’s heart was struggling to keep up. They’d lostDetta, their beloved great-aunt, who’d been such a big part of their lives. And she was still reeling from her break-up with Ben.
She hadn’t seen it coming. It had been a total shock when, shortly after returning from his year-long travels, Ben told her he’d fallen in love with a Portuguese woman he’d met on the Annapurna circuit in Nepal and was moving to Lisbon to be with her. She’d been grateful that shooting ofVital Signswas due to start immediately afterwards, so she’d have no time to wallow. But while the shoot had been intense and exhausting, it hadn’t provided the level of distraction she’d been hoping for. She’d forgotten how much time was spent sitting around on a set waiting for something to happen, and she’d had far too much time alone with her thoughts to brood.
Tonight she’d told her sisters she was fine, and she was most of the time – cheerful, getting on with things, enjoying work. Then it would hit her randomly, out of the blue, a sucker punch that left her winded and struggling to breathe, feeling like the ground beneath her feet could splinter apart at any moment and send her hurtling into the abyss.
Ben had been her best friend and constant companion for almost as long as she could remember. They’d grown up across the road from each other and been in the same class at school. Somehow, they’d bonded quickly and become fast friends despite having very little in common. He’d been to birthday parties in this house; he’d kicked a ball around the back garden with her father; he still remembered her mother’s brownies and sense of fun. It struck her as unbearably sad that she’d never have another boyfriend who’d known her parents. It wasn’t just the break-up she was grieving; it was another tie to the past lost.
But there was no point in pining for the way things used to be. Time would march on whether she liked it or not. Besides, there had been lots of good changes too. Inheriting Detta’s theatre at Halfpenny Lane had come with a lot of challengesfor her and her sisters, and it had been hard work turning its fortunes around. But they’d made it a successful business that they were all incredibly proud of and it had enriched their lives in so many ways. It had given them the opportunity to create their own work; it had brought Jonathan and Sam into their lives; it had reunited Mimi with Rocco; it had brought them love and new friends and a sense of purpose.
It would do her good to be back in the fold at Halfpenny Lane, surrounded by her theatrical family. She loved being part of a company, and she was looking forward to getting back to the stage. She’d missed the visceral energy of it and the immediacy of live performance. There was nothing as satisfying as feeling a piece hit with an audience, knowing in the moment that it’s working. With filming, you never knew what take the viewers would ultimately see – if they’d see it at all. There was always the chance you’d end up on the cutting-room floor.
Once rehearsals started, she’d be far too busy for wallowing in self-pity. She was looking forward to working with Sam too and seeing him every day. They were good friends, but there’d always been an undercurrent of mutual attraction between them and the potential for something more. It had never gone beyond mild, light-hearted flirting while she’d been with Ben. But she wasn’t with him now … The possibility of starting something new stirred a warm tingling in her stomach.
