“But the video—”
Her lips twist, spitting her reply back to me, “What are you talking about, Blake? Why is it such a big deal who your brother is? Why does any of thismatter?”
“I thought you—never mind. God.” I lace my fingertips behind my neck, palming the flesh there while I stare at the popcorn textured ceiling. “This is a mess.”
“Please.” I jump when a small hand presses against my chest, right over my heart. Red rimmed eyes peer up at me, soft lips twisted in anguish.
It would be so easy to lean down and kiss her right now.
She seems so small. So different to the first time I clocked eyes with her across the sticky bar dancefloor.
“I hate being left in the dark.” Even her voice sounds small, unsure, the fight drained out of her. That makes two ofus. “Please, just tell me what’s going on, Blake. I thought we we’re finally on the right path – the real one – and then all of a sudden, I can’t get a hold of you. No texts. No calls. No answering when I knocked on your door. I’ve been going mad. Why? Please, tell me why.”
The walls around my heart had started to crumble as soon as I’d seen her, as soon as she’d opened her mouth and began to speak, but now they topple completely.
“I’ve—” I lick my dry lips. “I’ve been used before, by somebody who only wanted me so they could get to Grey. I fell in love with her. The apartment, the dog, we had it all. I even had a ring. And then one day she must have gotten tired of playing the façade. She told me the truth. She didn’t love me, never really did. I think she just loved theideashe’d concocted in her head; the one where eventually I’d get bored, and she could find comfort in my own brother. She packed up her things, took the dog and left. I never heard from her again.”
“Blake…”
I shake my head, clearing my thick throat. “I love my brother, I do. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel overshadowed by who he is. It’s always been the same. Friends, co-workers, relationships. They’ve all used me as a stepping stone to get to him, to be in his circle, to know him. Do you know how that feels?”
Calla shakes her head.
“It makes you feel less than. Not worthy.”
“Have you ever told him how you feel?”
“No.” I swallow thickly. “It’s not Grey’s fault. He didn’t ask to be who he is. And it would turn his stomach to hear the stories I could tell you – he was almost sick when I told him about Monica, kept saying he was sorry and how guilty he felt and…”
I blow out an unsteady breath.
“He sent me a video. McAvoy. And it sent me into a spiral. I saw you, in the bathroom, telling someone who Grey was. Who I was. I saw you and Carmen chatting in the staff room. I saw you accepting the job offer to help me find a new place and I thought…”
“You thought what?”
I scrub my hand along my jaw, feeling the stubble there. “I thought you’d known all along. That it was all a ploy; bumping into each other again, coming to my apartment, agreeing to date me to get McAvoy off your back.”
A pained sound escapes Calla’s lips. “That isn’t true.”
“But I saw—”
“You saw a doctored version of the truth. I didn’t know who Grey was up until a month ago, up until the day after the charity gala. I wouldnever,ever, use somebody like that, Blake. Certainly not you. And the fact—” She sniffles wetly, angrily wiping the tears away with the back of her hand. “The fact you think so low of me hurts more than you can ever imagine.”
“Calla—”
“I’ve never cared who your brother is. Yes, I told Carmen when I found out, but never with a vindicate plan in mind to use you as a stepping stone. I was simply telling my best friend something. I swear I had no clue that it was you when I accepted the job offer for a new client. Let me see this video.”
I fish my phone out of my pocket, keying in my code and, with a pit in my stomach the size of the Grand Canyon, I hit play on the video.
Calla and I watch the whole thing in silence before her slim finger reaches out to pull the video back to the fifth second mark.
“This is dated April 17th.Before we met for the second time, right?”
I nod.
“So, how come I’m wearing the bracelet you gave me on the night of the gala?”
Calla scrubs the video along a little further until we’re back in McAvoy’s office.
